Some people have a hard time warming up to direction. In the past, I would put myself at the top of that list, but for me, the wind has changed direction.

I am the father of three boys and am helping to raise my grandson. Most of the people I managed in the broadcast industry were men. From my experience, I can safely say that most men don’t take direction well. It’s a matter of pride.

Men figure they should already know that which they don’t. It causes lots of frustration.

Direction reminds them of what they don’t know but think they should.

The gap between where you are and where you think you should be causes internal friction. The director acts as a catalyst.

Directors need a tough hide and the knowledge that many whom they are offering direction to, don’t think they need any.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I was working in Kansas City at a radio station and told a joke on the air that was mildly offensive. I didn’t think so at the time. The program director got some phone calls of complaint. He could have come into the studio and flat out told me not to do anything like that again. That would have been met with lots of resistance. He knew better because he was a savvy director.

Here’s what he did say, “I’ve just received a number of calls about the remark you made. I can tell the calls are orchestrated because they all use the precise same wording in their complaint. I’m not going to tell you not to do it again, but if you do, I’m giving them your home phone number.” He then walked out of the studio. Now that’s direction.

He offered me a different choice besides “My way or the highway” which is necessary at times, but, by and large, is the least effective form of direction.

Men and women both share this in common about direction: If they don’t like who it’s coming from, it’s a lot harder to carry it out.

“Enter adulthood” is the answer to the direction dilemma. I’ve mentioned this story before but it bears repeating here. My hypnosis mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson had us do an exercise where we would imagine being told to do something by someone in authority whom we didn’t like. The minute we reached that feeling of discomfort, we were to look down at our hands and laugh aloud.

The purpose of the exercise was to let us know that there will always be people telling us what to do no matter who we are. He said whether we were the President of the United States or Bill Gates we would have people telling us what to do. The exercise was to learn to laugh at the reality instead of getting caught up in the frustration. The exercise interrupted our patterned way of poorly responding to direction no matter what direction it was coming from.

It would be wonderful if we could like everybody, but that’s not happening anytime soon. The adult response is to separate the wheat from the chaff, or said another way, “Don’t confuse the message with the messenger.”

Which direction is your life headed? Is it going to be more of the same – railing against reality OR is it time to change direction?

Walking into the wind can be refreshing at times but if you do it as a matter of course, it’s no longer special and it’s counter-productive.

Direction is only a suggestion no matter how forcefully it’s stated. You have a choice. You already know where the old path leads. The only question left is: Do you have the savvy to head in a new direction?

All the best,

John

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