Courage
What is true courage?
My sense is it’s the ability to recognize that who you purport to be is an illusion and to have the willingness to allow that illusion to die.
We are so wrapped up in our roles – mother, father, husband, wife, parent, breadwinner, middle child, misunderstood, etc. that we fail to notice that we are wearing a costume. That role is not us, anymore than Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones, yet we buy into it daily.
The recognition part is the easier of the two to comprehend. We can recognize that we are assuming a role but allowing that character to be written out of the script forever has such finality attached to it. That’s where courage comes in.
What role do you play?
The trap many people fall into when they recognize they are playing a role is to write another script – one that has them play a completely different character. That may be helpful to your acting career but it does little to prepare you for the death that is necessary to find life.
This is not to deny reality of your situation. You may in fact function as a parent, lover, animal trainer or something else but that is not who you are. Reminds me of a story . . .
My friend and business partner, John Leslie and I were walking down the street in Wilkes-Barre, PA a few years back and happened to pass a shop that specialized in costumes, novelties and gag gifts. There prominently displayed in the front window was some plastic vomit. We laughed and then he said, “Somebody sold that to them. There is a guy somewhere showing up for career day at his kid’s school talking about being the plastic vomit salesmen.” Imagine for a moment identifying with that role.
You can function as a parent or salesman but the minute you buy into being that role, you become a quivering coward.
The bully you have to face is the conditioned you known as the ego. It’s the collection of patterns and roles that you have learned that pretends to be you. When you can appreciate that you are more than a collection of controlling thoughts and behaviors, that’s when you can write your role’s obituary. “Today we are saddened to report that the role of misunderstood citizen of the universe has died. The role was played for many years to many adoring fans but has finally come to an end. In lieu of flowers, please send your congratulations to (fill in your name here).”
It takes courage to step out of a role and into the unknown. Not having that security blanket to rely on anymore, you enter a new territory that is unfamiliarly familiar. On the surface it doesn’t appear to be home, but it sure feels like it.
Once you step off the high dive there is no going back. This is in no way suggesting that you become a “deadbeat dad” and desert your family. This is more about finding the depth of your being and bringing a more complete you to any function you perform.
I wonder how soon you’ll muster the courage to stop pretending.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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