In sports, there’s a term known as “Homer.” No, not the poet, or a four bagger known as a “Home run.”

A homer is someone who believes their home team does nothing wrong. They will justify anything a home team member does as long as they are part of the team. All bets are off if they get traded. Then the homer will then go on the attack about anything the player does when playing the former home team.

This phenomenon is not isolated to sports.

Have you noticed you will justify just about anything that one of your home members does? Logic flies out the window when it’s a member of our home team.

It’s quite natural to want to protect your own; it’s also delusional when you ignore the facts.

All families are faced with issues regarding their members. The teacher couldn’t possibly have a point about Johnny being disruptive in class. “She’s just high strung and doesn’t know how to deal with boys” is just an example of the type of justification we concoct.

The excuses pile up quicker than lawn care flyers in our mailbox in spring.

The more excuses you make for one of your members, the weaker you make them. We all become enablers when we turn our head away from the elephant in the room.

What have you been defending that’s indefensible? What are you supporting that will eventually fall on top of you and crush you?

It may be that the “member” you are blindly supporting is a pattern of behavior you have that you’ve been explaining away for years. Somewhere along the way we begin to believe our own lies. Then one day the mirror gets unfogged and shows us our true reflection, warts and all. This is a choice point.

We can crank up the steam machine again or we can finally address what makes us a mess.

You’re not going to find the following phrase on a Successories poster, but it is useful: “Listen to your horseshit.”

Listen to the “fun house mirror” logic you use. It’s the first base you have to reach before you have a chance of making it home.

Noticing our justifications puts them in a new light. I don’t have research to back this up but it seems accurate to me – 99 times out of 100, a justification is a lie.

Who are you kidding when you cheat at Solitaire? Who do you keep in the dark when you lie to yourself?

The Odyssey known as life becomes a much clearer path to walk when we don’t keep it strewn with the self imposed obstacles we generate when we argue for our limitations.

Have you noticed that the air always smells better after a thunderstorm? No justification will make that dark cloud over your head go away. We are better served when we experience the storm rather than hide under the bed with the elephant.

Become the unbiased referee of your life and be unafraid to call a foul on the home team. Your honesty may save a life – Yours!

All the best,

John

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