Self Acceptance
I read lots of marketing literature that is designed to walk you down a path with the ultimate goal of getting you to buy a product. Many times when you finally order the product there is some other fabulous offer that is paraded in front of you with some sort of “act now” lingo or you’ll never get this bundle of greatness again at this price. It’s marketing. It’s the scientific art of how to attract someone’s ego to a product or service. But wait, there’s more! Some do it better than others but the bottom line strategy is the same – hook the ego.
We market our products as well and the ego is also the target of our advertising. It’s the foot in the door. For example, many real estate agents will tell you that a house with a great kitchen being shown to a married couple is the foot in the door for the wife. Is that sexist? No, it’s real estate reality – hooking the ego.
Many products in the self-help arena are designed to get you something that you don’t have – confidence, power, control, wealth, health, etc. Some products are better than others but again, they are marketed to your ego. The ego gets you excited about the benefits you will receive by purchasing the product.
I have a product that is not for your ego. It’s a product that ignores your ego. In fact, your ego doesn’t want you to have this product. That’s because, if your ego allows this product into your awareness, it will begin to lose its hold on you. The product is self-acceptance. To use the marketing jargon, it’s a magic bullet!
Self-acceptance is to recognize the reality of you. The minute that happens, your personal reality begins to change. It doesn’t matter how you got to where you are. The fact is you are here – now. Accept yourself right now and a shift begins. The interesting aspect of this shift is that many things your ego wanted but couldn’t get in the past start showing up – automatically – without wanton desire. It’s the magic of self acceptance.
When you accept that you are not who you think you are – someone you made up and got comfortable with – a new you begins to emerge.
Self acceptance begins by recognizing that you are so much deeper than your thoughts and emotions. When this awareness begins to take hold, your ego begins to lose its grip on you.
Your ego is a conditioned, bunch of thoughts and patterned behaviors whose sole purpose is to keep you from finding out who you really are. It overloads you with a plethora of wants and desires that have the promise of a happy ending attached to them. The ego is a master of getting you to chase the horizon to get to the Promised Land that is always somewhere in the future. The real you is the awareness that observes the ego.
The foot in the door to the real you is to notice how the ego keeps you in place. If your ego has convinced you that you are not good enough, rich enough, skinny enough, smart enough, whatever enough, don’t fight with the conditioning. That’s what the ego wants you to do. Accept the reality of what the ego has presented, not the drama.
Let’s take being overweight as an example. The least productive thing you can do in that situation is to beat yourself up. Who’s doing the whipping? Your ego, of course. I had a lady tell me in a weight loss seminar one night, “My ass has gotten so big it has its own zip code.” Who made that announcement? Her ego. She made a judgement rather than sticking with the facts. The fact is that she was “X” amount of pounds from her recommended weight. The demeaning language to her body will never be long-term helpful. Yes, she may get herself to go on a diet with this methodology but her results will be short-lived. Then she berates herself some more and goes on another diet with the same yo-yo results.
Self acceptance is recognizing your situation without all the vitriol and histrionics. As I point out in my I LOVE MY BODY CD set, accepting yourself where you are is the springboard towards change. I am not suggesting that you say, “I’m a big fat load and that’s that.” That would be resignation and more of the ego. As Joe Friday used to say, “Just the facts, Ma’am.” Self acceptance is factual, not judgemental. Factual means 12 jurors could agree on it. 12 jurors couldn’t agree on “big fat load” but they could agree on being “X” amount of pounds over the recommended weight for your height and body shape.
The next step after non-judgemental recognition is appreciation. Appreciate that you are where you are now. It’s the only place you can be. That’s appreciating reality. Also, have an appreciation that to get where you are going, it’s totally necessary to know where you are now. Your appreciation of the facts helps you mentally triangulate. Jumping up and down and decrying that “this shouldn’t be happening” will delay any movement in the desired direction. Denial, non-acceptance, and non-appreciation are tools of the ego and it uses them to keep you cemented in place.
Choose to accept the reality in everything and you find the real you. The real you and reality are one. Self acceptance happens when you finally discover that your ego is the puppet show you’ve been passing off as you. Self acceptance is the pathway to change.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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