Jail
Prisons are full of innocent people – just ask them.
Their justifications didn’t work with the arresting police officer, the arraignment judge, the prosecutor, the jury of their 12 peers, and it’s not working on the guards or their fellow inmates – yet it continues – even in solitary confinement.
How guilty we are of making a case for staying in prison. The Grasshopper gave me this nip of nectar last week:
“You can’t justify your way out of jail; it’s against the law.”
Justifying unproductive behavior goes against the laws of reality and keeps you imprisoned.
This behavior is most evident in the “phantom” apology. It takes the shape of “I’m sorry but” or some form of “You made me do that.” How can you possibly be sorry for something you are about to justify? You remain incarcerated in your ego and shackled in the dark by denial. Have you noticed that no one is listening?
Therapy is full of people who pay other people to listen to their justifications. A valuable therapist will have none of that because it isn’t helpful. They have all too often witnessed the process of person after person putting another padlock of their self imposed prison by digging in their justified heels.
Here’s a get out of jail free card: Drop your justifications.
We act and then we justify. It’s a stimulus/response game our ego is a master at playing. When you say, “That’s just the way I am,” you are in justification jail. No one believes what you said simply because it’s not true. Your conditioning contributes to your behavior but it doesn’t mean you can’t be rehabilitated. But you’ll never get that opportunity when you defend, deny and justify.
If you don’t think you need rehabilitation, you just extend your sentence. If you’ve heard about your behavior from enough different people and you continue to ignore it, your ego has handcuffed you to the mindset that everybody else is wrong. That thing with feathers swimming on the lake and quacking is a duck. If you continue to duck reality, the only peaceful pond you’ll experience is on the other side of the bars.
You will often hear me say that recognition is the catalyst for change. Some people will recognize their destructive behavior but never change. That’s because justification won’t let them out of jail.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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