The way to a man’s heart is through his . . .

If you responded, “through his thoracic cavity,” perhaps you’re a surgeon. If you said, “stomach,” you’re probably old fashioned. Your strategy is based on your angle of approach.

When looking at something through our own eyes, we only get one perspective. Most often we label it “right.” Watch Tiger Woods on the putting green. When he has a putt of any length, he looks at it from lots of angles before he commits to his strategy. He’s “right” more often than most golfers because he considers different perspectives.

We often insulate ourselves by not looking at our position from multiple perspectives. What’s the old yard sale expression? – “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.”

A position that we’ve trashed in the past may be just the angle that will garner us treasure in this particular instance.

To take full advantage of your options, it’s helpful to imagine that you live on a circle that has 360 positions. If you continue to stay glued to your position, you’re ignoring 359 other ways of looking at your situation.

I know this seems silly and it works. Stand on an arc of an imaginary circle that you deem is the “right” angle. Next, physically move yourself to the opposite side of the circle and just notice the feelings in your body from this different perspective. If you pay careful attention, you will notice different feelings. Keep moving yourself to different points on the circle and simply notice and calibrate the corresponding feelings in your body.

There may be a better angle but you’re not going to find it by assessing it in your head. You’ve got to move there to feel it. We make all decisions with our feelings first and then we rationalize them in our head. I’m suggesting we mirror that natural approach to decision making by exploring our feelings.

If we don’t explore how something feels, we cheat ourselves out of our best barometer. Fully exploring your feelings about something means you have to move off your standard angle of view and calibrate. Seeing something from a different angle and noticing the different feelings, engenders empathy and insight.

You begin to appreciate your feeling sense more and you begin making better decisions.

I wonder, what’s the percentage of men who have actually ridden in the back seat of their own car? Sometimes it’s helpful to get the feel of something from a different perspective. It may just keep you from driving to the same dead end again.

All the best,

John

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