Responsible
I remember a few years ago having my version of a tantrum. I was at the end of a long road swing, traveling from city to city, on and off airplanes, driving endless miles, eating chain restaurant food, being sleep deprived, and being tired to the bone. I remember getting home that Friday evening and saying to myself, “I’m tired of being responsible.” I felt like lying on the ground and kicking and screaming like a little kid in a supermarket.
The truth was I was tired. I don’t know about you but I can become cranky when I get tired. I had pushed past my window of tolerability and was having a mini-meltdown. I think everyone can relate.
I got to thinking about the word “responsible” that had turned up in my little snit. I had seen it hyphenated one time to read: response-able.
Being able to respond was something I had become adept at over the years. When you manage people, it’s valuable to develop that skill, because it will be called into play every day, whether you manage a business, a family, or a volunteer group. Yesterday’s blog was about a reaction vs. a response and today it is about viewing that observation from a different angle.
Being able to respond is another way of saying “trust yourself.” When I did a radio talk show back in the 80’s, I learned how to trust myself when interviewing people. I would have a guest in the studio or on the phone who was a noted expert in their field – one which I knew nothing about. I remember thinking, “What will I say to this very knowledgeable person when I know nothing about their area of expertise?” The Grasshopper then answered, “Trust yourself.”
What I got from that little two word gift was this. If you stop jamming your thinking apparatus with preconceived thought after thought, an appropriate response will come. It’s there just waiting for the room to be let in.
Any person who has ever done a talk show has done something similar to this early in their career. They will be interviewing a guest with a sheet of questions before them. They may ask, “Where are you from?” Then when the person is answering, they go back to their question sheet looking for their next question and not paying attention to what was just said. Invariably, 5 minutes later, they will ask, “So where are you from?”
This is not a suggestion not to prepare. Preparation is a wonderful attribute. But if you think that preparing for every contingency is the answer, you will be sadly disappointed. You miss the moment when you rely on pre-conceived, scripted interactions. You disable your ability to be response-able and your communications become vanilla.
When life deals you a challenge, you have a choice. You can go on an internal hayride in your mind until you go haywire, or you can trust yourself to have an appropriate response. You are response-able. Once you discover this by trusting yourself, you will begin to experience a new found freedom. This freedom brings along with it an ease and comfort that takes the pressure off of you to figure out the answer before the question is asked.
All the best,
John
P.S. By the way, my new 2 CD set called, I LOVE MY BODY is now also available from CD Baby. You can read about the magic of Self-Acceptance contained in I LOVE MY BODY in my blog from December 19th, 2007.
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