I have never been considered a great dancer. I’ve had my moments but, by and large, a majority of the population does it better than me. But before you try and rescue me, let me tell the truth. I don’t like to dance – never have.

I’ve had instruction. I have made the effort. I have had world class dancing partners – all to no avail. Before you send me your secret method or a Dance Fever video, let me come clean. This ain’t the kind of dancing I’m referring to.

The purposeful avoidance of the facts is the dance that I choose to observe from afar. For example, I had the opportunity to watch some of the presidential debates on Saturday night and got to see an amazing array of dance steps. It’s entertaining and uncomfortable at the same time to see human beings knowingly dance around questions.

What is the biggest fear of answering a specific question with a specific answer? Is it being found out? You bet!

The truth is everyone already knows at some level what you are hiding. We are too polite as a society to probe past the dodge and we pay the price for our avoidance of the uncomfortable. The price for not asking is lifelong discomfort for not being willing to be temporarily prickly. This avoidance has us walk around with a wound that never heals.

I also got to see baseball great, Roger Clemens interviewed on 60 Minutes last night. Roger gave a fairly direct interview and then came a question about taking a lie detector test that revealed his discomfort. His answers then became less direct and you witnessed his two-step. On the same show, they interviewed a man who had murdered 20 people. You may have been discomforted by his acts or his rationale for committing them, but your BS radar didn’t activate when you heard his answers.

So hiding the obvious is like putting a cork in a leaking dam or wearing a bad toupee. Everyone knows what’s happening but we pretend that we don’t.

This is not a directive to challenge every dance step you encounter. In many cases, you may have probed in an area that’s none of your business. This is more of a suggestion to get curious about what you are hiding. In most cases, whatever it is, the evasive actions you employ are to protect your ego.

Who you think you are is someone you made up and got comfortable with. When people question this make believe you, you go into protective mode. You cover up a myth with a fairy tale. No one is fooled.

You can start your striptease slowly. Begin with a little lie that you have been telling that you can stop telling today. Once you remove the veil of secrecy from that one, you can progressively move up the food chain until you get to the Double Whopper.

The benefit is you become more comfortable with who you really are and are not afraid to show it to the world.

If you need a little logic to jumpstart your convincer strategy, ask yourself this: How come one can be more trusting and comfortable with the answers of a confessed, multiple, murderer than with the answers provided by the next President of the United States?

All the best,

John