Everybody has a story and we all need to tell it to let it out in the big world rather than keeping it in little old me. But, at some point, it also needs to be retired or it will immobilize you.

The discovery I’ve made about bringing our story out too often is this: You block yourself from moving forward.

Why do we keep our story on the front page for so long? To justify why we are the way we are. “I’m this way because my mother fed me from the wrong breast.” It sounds silly to say that but it’s no sillier than us citing and leaning on our reasons (our story) for why we are the way we are.

Our story keeps us arguing for our limitations.

Everyone’s story is important and once we’ve told it a few times to our counselor, friends, clergy or family members, it’s in our best interest to leave it where it does us the most good – in the past.

To make room for a new chapter in our life we have to purge the old ones.

Some people will elect to keep telling their story. They believe at some level if they tell it just one more time, they’ll get the emotional relief they’ve been seeking. The reverse is actually the case. We cause ourselves more hurt with each successive telling. We revivify the original experience. I’m reminded of what my hypnosis teacher Dr. Dave Dobson said: “You don’t have to go to the landfill to remember what garbage smells like.”

Got a story to tell? We all do but I encourage you to explore the powerful question that author Byron Katie asks: “Who are you without your story?” One answer is this: Free to move forward without baggage.

Retiring stories is like the game of golf: simple but not easy. The simple instruction is to immediately stop telling your story. The challenging part is to realize that you are not discounting the importance of your personal history by no longer telling it.

No one can diminish the importance of your story and no one should try. But if you keep telling it, the only thing you’ll insure is that you’ll stay stuck until the day you die.

The only story worth continually telling is this: Once upon a time I was my story.

All the best,

John