Dear Santa,

It’s me again, Little Johnny (LJ).

I’m not too sure what to ask for this year, so surprise me.

Some of my items seem to be too much for you to fulfill, so if you want to farm them out, I understand.

Can you call the NFL TV stations and beg their announcers to stop pronouncing “Route” as “Rout”?

While you’re at it could you train all TV broadcasters to pronounce the word “Forward” correctly? Too many of them say “Foe-ward” and hearing that is worse than getting coal in my stocking.

Finally, as you know, I live in Rhode Island (Little Rhody). I’m imploring you to put something in the water that has local people stop calling road tar “Ash-fault.”

Again, I’m not sure these requests are in your area of purview, but any assistance would be most appreciated.

All the best to you and the Missus,

LJ

P.S. Low fat milk and gluten free cookies are the rage this year. Hope you enjoy them.