The Grasshopper offered this tidbit on endings: “When you’re going nowhere together, it may be time to part.”

This piece of relationship insight has too many applications to list but following are just a few that come to mind.

The biggest breakup in most of our lifetimes was that of the Beatles. One could argue that they had much further to go together but, in hindsight, there was too little togetherness to make that happen.

The mean number of years for an American marriage is eight. If you’re one of the people who has experienced divorce, you can now clearly see that at some point you were going nowhere together.

The law firm that handled your divorce may have since broken up as well. Perhaps the law partners also had a parting of the ways.

Partings, for the most part, are acrimonious. My guess is that’s because the partners are not on the same rung of the togetherness ladder. One or more of them doesn’t recognize the location blunders that are tearing them asunder.

From my vantage point, lack of communication is the main culprit. What was once freely exchanged is now hoarded in secrecy. No longer are the dreams, desires or common goals discussed, just pushed aside as we get on executing our list of “musts.”

It takes some recognition to notice that you’re moving in a different direction than your partner(s). It’s at this point of recognition that you can explore the option of whether to move in a direction together. That means bringing your collective maps of the future out from under the covers and looking at them in the light of day, together.

It’s transparently obvious that the lack of communication is the main cause of going nowhere together.

Look no further than the Congress of the United States for examples of people talking past, rather than to, each other. There are no common goals being reached because no one is communicating.

The answer to Rodney King‘s question of “Can we all get along?” is most likely “No.” That doesn’t mean that we can’t explore togetherness. Only then will we know for sure if we can go somewhere together.

All the best,

John

With apologies to Dusty Springfield fans, The Grasshopper had this to say: “Wishin’ and Hopin’ have the same success rate as Drinkin’ and Dopin’.”

How much of our time is spent on wishes and hopes? There is a point past which we deserve to be called a dope.

No one has done the arithmetic on wishing and hoping, just like National Football League coaches have never done the arithmetic on running the ball on 2nd and 10. The success rate is anemically low for both but that doesn’t stop us from jamming up the flow by employing these tactics.

I believe it’s time to bring our wishes and hopes into the light of day and see how much time we waste on action-less pastimes.

There is no action associated with a wish or a hope which is the main reason neither rarely comes to fruition.

I’m sure “Actin’ and Doin'” wouldn’t have been as big of a hit song but our results would approach the Top 10 if we acted and did again and again.

A hope without action is hopeless. A wish without doing deserves poo-poo-ing.

Only you can decide how you’re going to spend your time but this much is arithmetically provable: The time spent wishin’ and hopin’ in your head determines how full your ass is with lead.

All the best,

John