I have a confession to make: I am uncomfortable around angry people.

I’m not referring to someone who gets angry; that happens to all of us. I’m referring to the person who displays anger as their natural state of existence. These folks often don’t notice that they are angry.

Their anger sits below the surface but I notice it smoldering and start to feel uncomfortable in their presence.

I guess you could say, “that’s your issue, learn to deal with it.”

My programmed response is to want to help them to release the hold anger has on them by:

1. Noticing the anger.

2. Feeling it, rather than ignoring it, so it metabolizes.

That would be a heady mission to attempt to help all the angry people I come in contact with. Quite frankly, that’s unwelcomed and impossible.

Seems I have some options. I can just avoid their company (which is my current response) or I can attempt to help them (which I would need to ask their permission to do) or I could seek out ways to get more comfortable in their presence.

The last option has had me “managing people.” That means I would work at steering the conversation away from their angst. But like the Billy Joel Song says, “I don’t want clever conversation. I never want to work that hard.”

I have this anticipated fear that at any moment their torrent of anger will be released which would just add to my discomfort.

My experience with that scenario in the past has been to confront them about their behavior which generally leads to escalation rather than resolution. I add to the fire rather than douse it.

I guess my best option is to take my own advice (who ever does that?) and notice my discomfort and feel it fully so that it dissipates.

I’ll let you know how I make out. If you ever see me at an anti-government rally, you’ll know I’m working on my issue.

All the best,

John