I recently read the origin of the expression “Sour Grapes.” Some say it came from the Bible and others claim it’s an Aesop fable. Either way, the story goes like this:

A fox sees some grapes on a vine above him. He jumps and jumps attempting to get some but after many leaps, he can’t reach them. He covers over his failure by pretending disdain for what he cannot have by labeling the grapes as “sour” and thus unworthy of his approval.

Are you sour?

What is it that you can’t admit to wanting?

It’s my experience that many people who disparage others for what they have have a desire to have the same thing, but cannot get it.

They hide their envy under the guise of disdain and it often comes out in disparaging or sarcastic refrains:

“He/She has no idea what it’s like to work for a living.”

“Must be nice to be able to have someone else mow your grass.”

“What they spend on vacation could feed hungry children for a year.”

Again, I believe we want some of the same things, but can’t bring ourselves to the point of us being responsible for getting them.

This goes well past material desires. We may be jealous of another’s happiness, physical appearance, social graces etc. The list is extensive.

The first step on the road to sweeter grapes is admission. It doesn’t have to be a public gathering with a soapbox. Just admit to yourself that you want certain things without castigating others for having them.

Years ago, I remember reading that if you want what another has, don’t envy them; emulate them.

But it’s difficult to emulate that which you claim to disdain. That’s why admission is the first step.

Once admission has happened, we can then start emulating. Find out what they do to get what they have. Want to have the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin? Read his autobiography. Want to take photographs like Annie Leibovitz? Study her work. Want the carefree attitude of your neighbor? Invite her to lunch and pick her brain.

Want more fruits from your labor? Start dining on a diet of admission and emulation and you’ll sidestep the grapes of wrath.

All the best,

John