Here’s an old message from The Grasshopper to all my friends who think they have to be perfect. You know who you are.

“Excellence: Getting Better At What You’re Good At.”

No need to get into an argument about who is the best at something; it results in an exercise of opposing opinions. Excellence is more easily agreed upon and more achievable.

You are good at something. You may not brag about it, but you know it. You may not consider yourself able to be the best, and that limiting notion may be what’s keeping you from getting better.

We keep ourselves from excellence by chasing the horizon of perfection. It does challenge and stretch your abilities to shoot for the moon, but as a regular practice, you wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

Perfection is elusive; excellence is incremental.

You may consider yourself to be a 7 on a scale of 10 in what you’re good at. The secret to excellence is to figure out how to get to a 7 ½ or an 8. That’s in the realm of possibility. Perfection isn’t possible; it’s arbitrary. Arbitrary means you’ll do a lot of arguing with yourself in your head, instead working on and then celebrating any step towards excellence.

The tunnel vision idea of perfection keeps us from getting better. The goal of perfection suggests that we’re flawed. How many excellent parents have you witnessed beating themselves up about not being the best parents? Not noticing their excellence keeps them from progressing.

Here’s an old axiom to remember when you are berating yourself for not being perfect: No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. That means the one goal of perfection is unachievable; excellence is always within reach. You just have to take steps towards it rather than reaching for the brass ring, which, after all, is brass.

Go for the gold of excellence. You’re not settling; you’re settling in on the recipe for excellence, which progressively gets you better at what you’re good at.

All the best,

John

Is it “Way Back Wednesday” already? Below is something worth “trying” from the archives of The Grasshopper.

“Notice: Resumes Are Not Filled With Things You Tried To Do.”

You may not have put together a thumbnail sketch of your life yet, but when you do, what you tried will be on the cutting room floor.
If I want to annoy myself, it’s easy. All I have to do is react to hearing myself or someone else say: “I tried that.” In my experience, in 99% of the cases that phrase translates to, “I didn’t stick with that.”

The notable exception that doesn’t upset me is: “I tried New Tide.”

In the overwhelming majority of the cases, if you had stuck with the thing you tried, you would have gotten the results you were after.

Just listen to the everyday examples we all use. “I tried to save money.” “I tried Weight Watchers.” “I tried to stop (fill in your trying verb).”

We are not a culture of stickers. Stick-to-itiveness is a habit we don’t stick with and we always get stuck with the bill. We pay for our lack of sustained effort and we attempt to assuage that pain by assuring ourselves that we tried.

Here’s a secret no one else will tell you: When you offer up your list of tries, no one is listening, not even your therapist.

I’m not going to “Go Yoda” on you here; I just want to point out that trying has to be removed from your list of accomplishments because that list doesn’t impress anyone.

The next time you catch yourself about to say or write, “I tried that,” have the courage to say, “I didn’t stick with that.” Saying that instantly accomplishes two things:

•It establishes your honesty.

•It brings responsibility for your success, or lack of it, where it belongs – back to you.

We have to participate in our own success. That requires sustained effort on our part. If you continue to ignore this universal truth, you will have a trying existence.

All the best,

John

I always thought the definition of baffled was “perplexed” or some other synonym that meant perplexed.

It can also mean a dampening of sound or a diffusion of light or a diminishment of anything else that’s attempting to get through in stronger measure.

A long time ago my late teacher Dr. Dave Dobson stated that we are our own best therapist. Part of what he meant by that was that we had a part of us that “knew” what the answer to our dilemma was. Problem is, we don’t know we have that part of us or we are cut off from it. Being cut off is what I’m calling “baffled.”

The noise in our head is the most baffling substance we’ll ever encounter. It’s thicker than mountain fog. It baffles our innate wisdom from coming through. What to do?

The first step is to stop doing what we normally do: going into think mode and staying there until we exhaust ourselves looking for an answer that remains elusive.

Did you ever notice that when you stop thinking about something, answers have a tendency to come through more often? Notice that your “ah-ha” moments don’t arrive as a result of your thinking. It’s the absence of thought that allows the “unthought of” answer to cut through the fog.

The next step is to find something that interrupts your train of thought. Any form of meditation is helpful but not necessary. Just the noticing of your thought machine in action is enough to stop the train. Think of it as a big cow on the tracks.

When we notice that we’re thinking, we go from being a participant in our thoughts to becoming an observer of our thoughts. It’s from the point of observation that our thoughts have spaces show up between them and that makes room for wisdom to fill the void.

If you’re talking to yourself inside your head about your problem, you’re baffled – cut off from your creativity. Could it be that the answer you’re looking for is just an observation away?

All the best,

John

As we used to say in the radio biz, “Here’s a blast from the past”: Life Gets Simpler When You Simplify – Grasshopper

I believe we take too many steps to get where we want to go; we rarely take the most direct route. That may be because of a lack of knowledge, bullheadedness or something else, but each of those pathways is a detour away from a simpler life.

You won’t get your knowledge from an advertisement. They’re mainly designed to show you where you are lacking and how their product or service will fill your void. Knowledge will come from someone who already has what you want. Find the person who has a simplified life and notice that their happiness quotient is higher than yours. Find out what they’re doing and do your version of it. That’s putting knowledge to use. That’s simplification.

Figuring it out on your own may take a lifetime and that’s just pure bullheadedness (translation, stupid). Again, there are people who have already blazed the trail. Follow in their footsteps. It’s the simplest way to simplify, and the smartest.

There is a principle of parsimony known as “Occam’s Razor” which states, “that among competing hypotheses, the one that makes the fewest assumptions should be selected.” Simplifying your life means to ignore the assumption that’s being sold to you and get sold on one that’s already working.

The simple life is not filled with conditions that need to be present for you to feel happy or peaceful. The simple life is celebrating victories wherever you find them vs. planning and scheming to have countless notches on your belt – a game of “who dies with the most?”

Simplifying means taking stock of what you’re stocking up on and finding out if the effort is worth it. My experience is that the happiest people are respectful and thankful for everyday things that the striver takes for granted and doesn’t think are enough.

There is a questioning technique that continually asks, “What will that get you?” For example, if you say, “I want a big house with acres of land,” you are asked, “What will that get you?” You may answer, “The house I’ve wanted all my life.” Again, you’ll be asked, “What will that get you?” This back and forth can go on for a while until you drill down for a deeper answer that addresses what you really want. It’s usually some form of peace of mind or a feeling of happiness.

The goal isn’t really the house; it’s the feeling you believe you’ll have if you get your desire. Simplifying just has you go directly for the feeling without the conditions. We’ve assumed that “this, that and the other” has to be in place for us to be happy or feel at peace, and that’s complicated. It’s simpler than that. The peace and happiness of a simpler life are fewer assumptions away.

Certainly go after what you want, just don’t buy into someone else’s idea of what you should have to be more peaceful and happy.

If you find yourself continually striving and not arriving, it may be a signal to take the shortcut to the simpler life – appreciating what you have. It’s a lot more peaceful with a lot less strife.

All the best,

John

Here’s a Throwback Thursday tidbit from The Grasshopper: “Reclaim Your Spirit And Take Aim On Living.”

There is an animating spirit to all living things but we tend to forget about that source when it comes to living.

It’s easy to get caught up in our head and end up in the land of the living dead. It’s better to take a moment and focus on the life coursing through your body; it will instantly remind you of where real living happens.

Your spirit is ageless and timeless. It was here before you and will be here after you’re gone. It’s really everyone’s spirit; you just happen to notice it taking up temporary residence in your body.

Your head, on the other hand, is like a child in want of constant attention. The more attention we pay to the voice in our head, the more removed we become from our spirit. We become lifeless.

How do we become more “spiritual”? Pay attention to the part of us that animates our body. Make it a daily practice, like a coffee break, just to notice your spirit. An easy way to do this is to notice what’s going on in certain body parts, like you hands. What sensations are going on this very moment in your hands? Sense it. There’s something going on there around the clock, but too often we fail to notice because we’re too busy having an endless debate in our pate.

Just taking the time to acknowledge and feel our spirit, brings more spirit into our daily lives. The benefit is this: You’ll feel more of life’s purpose when you reconnect with your spirit. It’s so easy to do, just take a little bit of time to sense what’s going on in you.

When you take a vacation from your head, you’ll feel more life, which is the purpose of living.

When you make your aim living, life gets easier and more forgiving.

Make it your mission to reclaim your spirit and you’ll hit the target more often – Living!

All the best,

John

I love alliteration, so it follows that I love “Flashback Friday.” It’s in the “Way Back Machine” that I found this Grasshopper nugget: “Discover Yourself In The Arc Of A Thought.”

“Who Am I?” is a question we have all asked and there is only one answer, and it’s only found in one place: in the arc of a thought.

Thoughts are like breaths; they have a beginning and an end – an arc. Did you ever notice that there is a tiny little space between your out breath and your in breath? Just monitor your breathing for a few seconds and you’ll find that space. There is also a space between thoughts. It comes as the arc of one thought ends and another begins. It’s in that space that you’ll find you.

First, you’ll have to discover that that space exists. Once you become aware, you’ll always know it’s there. Then it becomes a matter of attention. Begin to give attention to that space. When you begin to focus on the space, it elongates. That space is you.

When you discover that space and elongate it, you’ll instantly know the real you – the one that sits between your thoughts. You’ll finally discover that you’re not the drivel that normally fills up your head; you’re the space instead.

The answer to “Who am I?” is the space between your thoughts.

It’s in this space that you’ll discover your own innate wisdom. The constant ongoing chatter in our mind crowds out that wisdom and we continue to play the role that our thoughts tell us we are. The real you can’t be put into a thought; it’s separate and apart from who we think we are.

When you discover yourself in the arc of a thought, you’ll begin to think more clearly and have less clutter in your mind. You’ll also discover that you’re not the character that you dress up and display for public consumption. Unlike your image of yourself, you’ll never have to defend the real you because it never takes a position. That’s because it contains them all, and all in that tiny little space.

When you get tired of pretending that you are who you think you are, begin to notice the arc of a thought and find that refreshing space that feels like home. Spend some time there and rejuvenate yourself with you.

Build your own ark and escape the flood of your thoughts just by finding yourself in the space between them.

All the best,

John

Here’s a “Way Back Wednesday” Oldie but Goodie from The Grasshopper: “You’ve Never Won An Argument With Your Mind.”

Zero Sum: When one side completely wins and the other side completely loses – Winner Take All. Arguing with yourself is a Zero Sum Game.

You may have never thought about it, but you have never won a debate with your mind, yet we continue to argue.

We have all been exposed to the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Arguing with yourself is insanity.

The next time you start fighting with your mind, take the time to call a time out and assess your strategy. Notice that it isn’t working; but this time throw in the towel. It’s how to win by losing.

What if there was a pending argument in your mind that you didn’t show up for? That’s a win!

You may not even realize how often you engage in knock-down, drag-out internal debates, but once you do, you’ll notice how often you lose all your marbles.

Just the mere noticing of an argument going on in your mind is enough to halt the proceedings. Get in the habit of monitoring your mind’s obsession for arguing with you. Noticing is your secret weapon of not getting cajoled into the loser’s corner again.

Noticing lets you walk away without the dust settling on you again.

Your mind has a mind of its own and it was born to argue. If you refuse to take the bait, you’ll remain unhooked from a losing strategy and can proudly boast about the big one that got away.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper offered this yesterday as I was lamenting my woes to the ethers: “Your biggest problem is you.”

After a bit of reflection, I knew what the message meant. The “you” being referred to is the you that you made up and got comfortable with.

We have all made up our “you.” Some of us are more deeply invested in this image of ourselves than others, but the practice of thinking we are our image causes all sorts of problems.

When we think we are this “you,” anything that doesn’t comport with our image is immediately dismissed. “I’m not like that” or “I never do that” are some of the denials that come out of sticking to our image.

Another part of the “you” we deny is how our conditioned patterns are contributing to our problem. We desperately want to attribute the problem to something out there – “It’s certainly nothing I’m doing.”

Yes, for the most part, our patterns are our problems. We just don’t take the time to notice them or, God forbid, take responsibility for them.

If you retrace your steps to where you are now, you will see a repeating set of patterns that took you here. “Why does this always happen to me?” is really an easy question to answer. Just retrace your steps and you’ll trip over all the patterns that got you here.

Have you ever heard a middle aged adult say, “I was stricken with diabetes”? As if it came out of the blue and had nothing to do with what they did up to that point to contribute to their disease. My absolute favorite denial of responsibility is hearing a professional golfer say, “My putter wasn’t working today.” I never heard a bricklayer say, “My trowel wasn’t working today.”

Problem solving begins when we stop defending who we are. It’s better to notice who we’ve become as a result of the patterns of behavior that aren’t working for us, and recognizing the false image we’ve created.

You are your biggest problem. Perhaps it’s time to go to work on you, rather than looking out there to find out how you got in this stew.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper is rarely as pejorative as he was yesterday when he chirped: “If you’re too stupid to recognize pander, you’ll always be led.”

A panderer according to my online dictionary is a person who assists the baser urges or evil designs of others to their own advantage while purporting to be on the side of those pandered to.

A panderer has one goal in mind: Theirs not yours.

Look no further than the “race card” played in the first O.J. Simpson trial. The defense pandered to the jury’s experience with racism to acquit their guilty client.

Like a lobster in a slow simmering pot, some people don’t recognize they’re being pandered to until they have been cooked and have satiated the needs of the panderer.

Ask yourself this the next time you suspect you’re being pandered to: Does this person really care about me and my plight or are they just enlisting me in their fight?

Panders don’t care about you. You are being used as a means to an end.

People who are easily led lean heavily on their emotions, not on the factual data at hand. The panderer knows this and targets those folks because they’re easy prey.

I am constantly amused and saddened about the constant misinformation that people on social media spread without checking the data for facts. Frankly, they are stupid and easily led.

If you don’t recognize that you’re being used, get used to a steady diet of pander that will just fatten your brain, and the panderer will continue to use you for their personal gain.

All the best,

John

Here’s a TBT of Creativity that I found from years ago:

Creativity Is Quietly Quick – Grasshopper

You’ve heard the term “Burst of creativity,” but have you ever considered what allows it to burst through?

Trying to be creative is an oxymoron because trying is the antithesis of creating. When we try, we attempt to make creativity into a head game. It’s everything but.

The head only becomes involved when it is given an “ah-ha” thought. It is the mailbox for the idea and has nothing to do with its creation.

We don’t consciously create creativity. That’s a snail’s race. Creativity happens at lightning speed when trying ceases to impede.

Reminds me of a story about my older sister I may have told before. She’s very artistic. She can paint and draw and do all sorts of other creative, arty things. My mother, who was a pragmatist, thought my sister should open a business where she could display and sell her creations. My sister knew that wouldn’t be a good idea and summed it up with this phrase: “I only paint when I want to paint.”

My sister knew she would have to turn out piece after piece to make a business thrive and she intuitively knew if she had to consciously create her art to keep up with demand, it wouldn’t have the creativity her current pieces possessed.

People who are creative are not thinking about creativity. They just allow it to happen. What many don’t know is how to create the environment for creativity to thrive.

Just think about any creative idea that you’ve ever had. It came out of nowhere, with no warning and in the blink of an eye. How do we get to that place where creativity doesn’t move at a snail’s pace?

There are two steps to start the process:

1. Set an intention.

2. Occupy or quiet the mind.

Setting the intention is the easy part. Just come up with an objective. Maybe you’re seeking an answer to a question that’s been eluding you, or perhaps you are wondering in what direction to head to pursue your heart’s desire. Again, the intention is easy.

Occupying the mind means to occupy yourself with another objective other than the one you have intended. That means to do something else with complete attention. It could be something as simple as washing the car or taking a walk. The idea is to set your intention and then set it aside, and then give your complete attention to washing the car or taking the walk.

This above method allows your creative engine to work on something without you telling it how to create. Quite often, in the middle of soaping up a tire or in mid stride, creativity will flash in without warning. This method is an active path towards creativity.

Quieting the mind is the passive way towards creativity. You, again, set the intention and then you go about your mind quieting ritual. There are so many to choose from and they all work with a little practice. If you don’t have a mind quieting routine, I urge you to explore one. Not only will you be more calm and collected but, as a byproduct, you’ll be more creative.

The better you get at occupying or quieting your mind, the quicker you’ll be at creativity.

We spend too much time in our heads seeking creative solutions. When we jam our mind with endless thoughts, we bar the door to creativity who’s always knocking.

Let your creativity in by allowing your thoughts out. It’s the quickest way to a quietly creative day.

All the best,

John