Not too long ago, The Grasshopper offered this perception:

“It’s Not Advice, It’s Input.”

I stopped giving advice a number of years ago because it too often seemed to fall on those who couldn’t hear. Then I discovered input.

I found that advice doesn’t give the receiver the sense of choice. Your advice is often perceived by them as “the only way,” and meant for someone else, not them.

Advice has a top down quality to it. It comes from “on high” which frequently translates to low value by the intended beneficiary of your “divine” wisdom.

Input is perceived more as a suggestion, rather than an edict. I often preface any input with the computer axiom of “garbage in, garbage out.” In other words, here’s something you can try on for size. Either it fits or it doesn’t. That makes the receiver the chooser, rather than the modern day Moses on Mount Sinai.

It’s my experience that input has more of a chance of getting through, whereas advice runs into built in barriers of resistance.

“If I were you” is advice; “Here’s something that worked for me” is input. This may seem like semantics on the surface but one registers more deeply than the other.

I would advise you to start using input but that would only be me giving you advice. I find it works better if you decide to try it on your own.

All the best,

John

Here’s an old story I found in The Grasshopper archives:

“I Don’t Know More; I’ve Just Experienced More.”

We’ve all given advice, some solicited, most not. I’ve come to learn it’s better to be asked. And when delivering that requested advice, I find it more productive to come from the angle of experience rather than a position of your superior knowledge.

When you come from the position of knowledge, you immediately put the person on the receiving end of your wisdom a rung or two lower than you on the ladder. That distance makes your message harder to hear.

When you come from experience, you’re just telling a personal story about you that another can glean insight from, rather than feeling like they’re attending a lecture on how to live.

Become a better storyteller and you’ll help a lot more people. People like to hear stories; that’s why so many successful traditions use them. Think no further than the teachings of the ancient Chinese to Buddha to Jesus to George Lucas.

Your stories come from your experience. They’re authentic and they teach without preach.

So the next time you’re asked for your advice, rather than telling them what you know, share an experience and watch them grow.

All the best,

John

Here is a Grasshopper Note from just a few years ago:

“Denial: Doubling Down On Dumb.”

“Denial” and “Defensive” go hand-in-hand and they grab on to the lamest justifications one can imagine.
Reminds me of a story I’ve told before . . .

My boyhood friend who turned into a lifelong drunk was lamenting why he wasn’t as successful as he could be as a musician. He was in his late 30s at the time. The reason he wasn’t successful was because, when he was 18, his father wouldn’t lend him the money to buy the organ he wanted to play in his band.

That’s doubling down on dumb!

When we are focused on our stories of denial, we deny ourselves the opportunity to see a way forward. Our stories trap us in the dark past where light is at a premium. When we defend our stories, we just shine a light on our ignorance.

Sad to report that my friend is now in his 60s and has been in and out of orange jumpsuits for DUI infractions too many times to count. I’m sure he’s still telling the organ story, albeit through slurred words and denying that he has any culpability for his lot in life.

Just examine your excuses and find out how dumb they are. What story have you been telling that keeps you in place? Examine how often you deny the logic that’s been presented to you time and again. If you’re getting the same results (which are no results at all), it’s time to gather up the dumb stuff and put it in a U-Haul.

The truth about denial is you know you’re doing it, but deny you are.

If you want your fortunes to change, it’s time for a trip to the dump to drop off your denial and find out first hand that dumb isn’t forever.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper offered up something yesterday that made me smile: “If you’re not laughing everyday, something’s wrong.”

I don’t think his message suggests becoming a “grinning idiot”; it’s more of a nudge to start noticing the lighter side which is available even on cloudy days.

“Laughter is the best medicine” is an interpretation of Proverbs 17:22 which reads: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit drys up the bones.”

I don’t think I’m revealing any secrets here by saying that miserable people are dried up and their brittleness infuses everything they do.

Misery and looking for the lighter side are both mindsets. One takes you down a dark road; the other offers brighter options.

Norman Cousins was a journalist and author of the book Anatomy of an Illness. After suffering a life-threatening disease, he discovered alleviation through laughter. Quoting Cousins, “I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep.”

It’s in your best interest to regularly find something to laugh about. The soothing result is this: Finding time for mirth makes your existence less painful on earth.

Final thought: If you choose to remain steeped in misery, it’s nothing to laugh about because the joke’s on you.

All the best,

John

Came across this past nugget from The Grasshopper:

“Our Personal Baggage: We’re Over-Packed For The Trip Of Life.”

Over the years I have been fond of labeling someone I couldn’t cozy up to as having too much baggage. That meant they had too many obstacles in the way of me getting closer to them.
The real discovery was it was my own baggage that got in the way of me getting to know someone better.

Let me re-label baggage as our “prejudice, patterns or conditioning.” We accumulate a lot of conditioning along the way and it weighs us down when it comes to warming up to others.

The key to better relating is to discover we’re not better than another – just someone who’s been conditioned differently. When we trace the conditioning path we have traveled, we can see the stops where we picked up a specific piece of luggage.

Oftentimes, we picked up the baggage by osmosis, meaning we learned the new patterns, prejudice or conditioning without knowing we learned it. It just seems to be something we were born with. Tracing our path shows us it was not.

Examining our conditioning, dispassionately, shines a light on our own baggage, allowing inspection to be much easier. What you’ll discover is that you are carrying too much. The key, going forward, is to pack lighter, by leaving the extraneous behind.

This results is you being lighter (translation: less serious) and not taking yourself so seriously. This lightness will open you up to more people, resulting in more ease in relating because there is less baggage to bog you down.

Packing light allows us to see more of the light and exposes our dark side, so we can leave it by the wayside.

All the best,

John

I’m guessing you’re familiar with the old time, pejorative phrase “You’ve been sold a bill of goods.”

Let me state the obvious: You can’t be sold a bill of goods if you’re not buying.

This is not a warning to stay home and “sew up your pockets” as much as it is an invitation to notice what you’ve been sold that’s proving to be worthless.

We’ve been sold on too many third-rate things to count through our conditioning. The key is to find one of them and start pulling on its string. This realization and action begins a domino effect on our other bills that aren’t that good.

What have you been sold, without your permission, that’s holding you back from viewing reality?

Is it a way of life? Attitudes? Prejudices? Zero in on what you’ve been sold that can’t be resold. Come around to the idea that it’s a worthless commodity that has strung you along and has led you deeper in debt.

Animal lovers beware: You may have to slay a few, sacred cows to get to the point where you are debt free from these bills.

It’s a process – one that begins with reflection on the hole you’re in. As the Grasshopper warned years ago: “Change your behavior or stay in your hole.”

What are you passionately defending that doesn’t hold water? By mindlessly defending, you are using a sieve for a bucket.

Take a moment to focus on the results you consistently get. If they are unfulfilling, become willing to inspect your behavior. What you’re likely to find is an old bill not worth paying.

All the best,

John

Here’s an old Grasshopper Note that has real potential.

“Potential Is An Empty Promise.”

The seed needs the soil otherwise you only possess the downside of potential.

Are you as smart as someone who’s way more successful than you? The answer to that question is almost always “Yes.” Are you as resourceful as them is a much better question to ask yourself. The answer to that question is almost always “No.”

What resources are they using that you’re ignoring?

Internal resources immediately come to mind. We block most of our internal resources by our incessant thinking. When you are thinking, your chances of reaching the rich soil of your creative resources are thwarted.

The key to getting your seeds into this soil is to get out of the barren fields of your mind and into the fertile environment where your potential can grow, not just be lamented about.

How much of your thinking is about how successful you should be vs. the reality of how successful you are? I’m defining “Successful” as measurably accomplished.

Measuring your thinking is just comparing IQs, which are accidents of birth. Measuring your accomplishments is a more useful barometer of how often you get your ideas and hands in the dirt – the key to success.

If you want your potential to grow, you have to get past knowing what you know.

That means to get out of your head and into the infinite field of resources where the act of planting is measurably ahead of anything that’s said.

All the best,

John

Using baseball as an analogy, a spectator is a fan watching or listening to the action on the field. A participant is the player on the field.

In your field of dreams are you a spectator or participant?

My experience is most of us fall into the spectator catagory.

That means we watch life go by and rarely jump in to participate.

For example, we live vicariously through others watching something like the Kardashians on TV. We may dream of another lifestyle or another direction to head in but never take the first participating step.

You can learn how to do something from a book or a YouTube video but if you don’t execute the steps, you remain a spectator.

It’s nice to be a compendium of information on a topic but it’s beyond words when you actually participate.

Quoting the Grasshopper from many moons ago, “Plans without follow-through are dreams that die.”

Want to start living the dream? Participate!

All the best,

John

Lots of people are preparing to die. They make sure their insurance and will are in order, burial plot or cremation secured, organ donation detailed, and list the type of funeral gathering they desire. That is quite prudent and my guess is these folks make up a small percentage of the population.

Even less people are preparing to live.

If you don’t feel alive everyday, you are at death’s doorstep.

Feeling alive is recognizing the moment you are in and making the most of it. It won’t be coming around again, so take advantage of it while its here.

Seems we often withdraw from the moment we’re in to be somewhere else. That somewhere else is being in our head – a giant moment killer.

Participating in moments makes us feel alive and well. All else disappears when we engage in the moment. If you are having a conversation with someone and you go inside your head to rehearse what you are going to say, you’ve come out of that moment and, more importantly, lose the aliveness of connection with the other person.

I have no idea how long I’ll live. That decision is out of my hands. Deciding to live everyday of your life is a choice you can make. It starts with participating in life’s moments.

Big and small moments are labels that indicate a head trip. All moments, no matter how they are judged afterward, deliver equal amounts of life.

Prove it to yourself. Participate in more moments and measure you aliveness. What you’ll discover is that staying in your head keeps you in the dead zone. Coming out to play will make you feel alive everyday.

All the best,

John

Is it “Wayback Wednesday” already? Must be because below is a Grasshopper note from long ago:

“A More Active Life Leads To More Happy Accidents.”

I’ve always liked the word “serendipity” but never knew its origin. It comes from the fairy tale The Three Princes of Serendip where the three princes were making accidental discoveries while they were in search of something else.

Seems that we all have made accidental discoveries when in search of something unrelated. Serendipity is alive and well in our lives and we would do well to set the stage for it to appear more often.

The trick is not to go looking for serendipity but to commit to doing something vs. thinking about something. Doing gets you out and about; thinking keeps you shuttered and stout. Taking action gives serendipity the opportunity to find you.

The arithmetic works like this: The more you get out and do, the more often you have a chance of serendipity visiting you. It’s most often the byproduct of activity and interaction. Action will lead you to people and places that thinking can never take you.

Have you ever had a chance meeting that turned into something larger than you could have ever imagined? It happens to someone every day when they get their isolationist thinking out of the way.

Here’s the big secret: Serendipity will not come knocking on your door. You’re more likely to bump into it if you put yourself where it lives – outside of your head.

Serendipity is in direct proportion to you putting yourself out there. And when you do, please don’t act too surprised when it taps you on the shoulder and asks you to dance.

All the best,

John