Dear Santa,

These are the presents I would like to see under my tree:

More of this and less of that.

Thank you,

LJ (Little Johnny)

It seems that’s what we’re all looking for – more of something or less of something.

More health, less sickness

More wealth, less money worries

More joy, less sadness

More love, less hate

The list goes on and on.

There is one gift that covers all the bases – More presence.

When you are present, you’re not focused on the concepts of more or less, you’re focused on what can’t be quantified but qualifies you for the peace that passes all understanding – The Present Moment.

The Present Moment is an experience that’s outside your head. If you’re commenting on it, it’s already in the past. Presence is being in the moment without commentary. You’re in the flow of life when you are present.

When you are attempting to arrange your moments, you’re like the cruise director on The Titanic; you’re headed for disaster. They will never be like what you painstakingly planned, so stop insisting on how it has to be and take advantage of the only thing you can count on – how it is.

Being part of the moment is being immersed in the moment. Take the time to let the moment wash over you rather than attempting to change the course of mighty rivers.

The current is going in your direction when you go in the direction of the current. Each moment has its own current; be a part of it or struggle against it.

There will be plenty of time for planning in many of the moments we’re not present, so don’t worry. There’s no risk of our attempts to control the universe going away. This is just a reminder to occasionally step away from the daunting task of reeling in reality and just be part of it.

Stepping away is the gift of awareness which leads us to presence where the clarity of mental silence leads us naturally to more of this and less of that.

I hope there is lots of presence under your tree.

All the best,

John

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Have you ever stopped to consider what makes you feel alive? I know most of us have strategies for deadening feelings, but it’s those feelings that we’re trying to kill off that let us know we’re alive.

When you attempt to numb a feeling, that’s an insurance policy that it will come back stronger the next time. That’s why deadening strategies escalate over time.

Here is a question that will point out if you are heavily involved in deadening: Are you (action verb of choice) more now and enjoying it less?

What you fill in the blank with is your deadening strategy.

I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes we all need something to deaden the pain to get us over a hump, but when that something becomes your go-to strategy, you are existing without feeling alive.

Noticing and then feeling the sensations that your body delivers are the first steps to feeling alive. Our initial conditioned reaction is to chase the feeling away. The internal comment that goes along with this is: “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I don’t want to feel this way.” Here’s the reality we miss: You do feel that way! Notice it and feel it as fully as possible. It’s nature’s way for metabolizing those sensations.

The home brew remedy for deadening isn’t working and it’s robbing you of feeling alive.

It takes some practice, but allowing your sensations to move through you will make you feel more alive and less dead to the world.

All the best,

John

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If you haven’t written to Santa yet, time is whittling away. And here is something you may not immediately think to ask for – Flexibility. But if you do, more gifts will come to you.

Flexibility often feels like giving in when it’s really giving out. You’re giving out a piece of yourself that rarely sees the light of day. And as we learned from the Hare Krishna practitioners giving out flowers at the airport years ago, when you give something out, something comes back to you.

Giving out may feel uncomfortable at first because we have been so rigid in our position for such a long time. Stretching feels foreign at first, but then gives way to flexibility which adds dimension to our capability.

When you are more flexible, you can move in more directions and see more vantage points. This opens you up to more opportunities. It’s pure arithmetic.

You can certainly stay steadfast in your position, but take a moment to notice it hasn’t helped you to make the transition – from hard as a month old fruitcake to being in position – to see more avenues for fruition.

Flexibility adds to your agility to give out, and isn’t that what the holiday spirit is all about?

All the best,

John

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Even though time doesn’t exist, except as a mental construct, the phrase “time marches on” is spot on.

Nature doesn’t move backward; it’s always on the move – forward.

As much as we may want to dig in our heels and hold onto our precious past, it slips from our grasp with each tick of the clock. “Time and tide wait for no man.”

If you are mentally moving backwards, your forward progress will be halted.

There is nothing wrong with reminiscing unless you make it into a permanent practice of ghost kissing.

Here’s something we all have in common: We have a past. In order to have a future, we have to get past our past.

Keeping the past on life support is the best known way to stay stuck.

The holidays are here for some and approaching for others. Holidays are filled with traditions and that helps make them special. But if they’re all tradition with nothing new, “It’s A Wonderful Life” will be just an old movie for you.

Please give yourself permission to feel sad. It’s part of being human. Be sad until you’re not. Just don’t get fixated on the good old days as a salve, because that will insure that old memories are all that you have.

Christmas Past is gone forever

and Christmas Future is not in view

Make Christmas Present your main focus

and avoid a Christmas of Blue.

Now is the only time you can make a new memory. Here’s wishing you a holiday season filled with present moments that become time honored traditions.

All the best,

John

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Pardon the Interruption is a popular cable TV sports show that has nothing to do with today’s post other than the title.

Actually, a more accurate heading would have been: The Interruption is Your Pardon, but that isn’t as familiar a phrase or as catchy.

The Grasshopper had this to offer a few weeks ago: “Interruption is the key to growth.”

You get a pardon or reprieve on automatic behavior when you interrupt it while it’s happening. It’s the opportunity you offer yourself to go in another direction – one towards growth.

Repeating the same old pattern takes you down the same old roads; interruption offers you a new map. Your programmed GPS can only take you to the programmed location; interruption opens you to new directions.

The break in the chain of events is interruption. It is a catalyst for growth. Just about any behavior can be interrupted and each time you do so, you help yourself grow.

Growth is a process, not a one-time thing. That’s why I’m not a fan of the term, “breaking patterns.” The break is the initial step, not the complete solution. In order to grow, you must outgrow, and that takes repeated interruption. Each time you interrupt a pattern of behavior, you grow a little bit. String a series of interruptions together and they begin to take on a life of their own heading you down new paths to growth.

It’s easier to be pardoned for your behavior if it doesn’t happen. The key to keep it from happening is interruption.

If you’re serious about growing, here’s an easy mantra to remember: Be abrupt and interrupt!

All the best,

John

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I believe we all have the innate ability to spot the smartest person in the room. In fact, it may have been you a time or two.

But do you have the ability to spot the person who “thinks” he/she’s the smartest person in the room? I believe we do.

This isn’t anything I can validate with facts and figures, only feelings, but the older I get, the more I trust the signals my body sends me.

Based on my experience, the smartest person in the room generally doesn’t tout that fact. The person who “thinks” they are can’t help themselves. They spray around superiority like a garden hose. The smartest person in the room knows how and when to self-deprecate; the one who thinks they are knows how to spell “deprecate” but it’s not in their vocabulary.

Additionally, my experience is that someone who thinks they are the smartest person in the room makes no room for you because they take up all the space with their assumed intellectual largess.

I will offer you a public person I have deemed as the poster child for thinking and acting like the SPITR (Smartest Person in the Room). I don’t know too much about this person’s background or their education or their judicial pronouncements, but their demeanor sets off my all my alarms.

His name is Antonin Scalia and he is an Associate Justice on the United States Supreme Court.

I have no doubt that he’s smarter than me and, perhaps, you. My only question is: Does he have to always let it show through?

Justice Scalia may in fact be the smartest person in the room, after all, someone always is. But to know for sure, here’s a suggestion: Open up the room to others and let them have their say, rather than occupy the whole space and hold sway.

All the best,

John

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Last night I was on the phone with our seminar coordinator and we were talking about tit-for-tats and minor dust-ups when The Grasshopper interjected, “You can’t have a war if only one person is fighting.”

How many personal wars do we keep alive by our penchant to have the last word or throw the last punch? My guess is more than we imagine.

The cure for any war is always the same – Stop fighting!

When the accent is on the fight and who’s right, there is less hope for peace.

Reminds me of a story . . .

A couple of years ago I was at a golf driving range where I ran into an old acquaintance. After the hellos and handshake we went into our song and dance act we had started years before. It was for lack of a better description – “Top this!”

To the casual observer this may have appeared to be conversation but make no mistake, it was war. Who was going to have the last, potent “Ka-Pow”?

In the middle of this little sideshow, I got the gift of awareness. It dawned on me that this “conversation” was going nowhere and would end up like all the ones we had in the past – a ramping up of egos with absolutely nothing being communicated.

I stopped counter-punching and started asking questions. It turned into the most pleasant conversation I ever had with this fellow.

Put the gift of awareness on your holiday list. It’s a gift you can give to yourself and it’s the proverbial gift that keeps on giving.

Becoming aware is the ability to throw in the clutch when you’re in the middle of something and observe yourself as though you are watching someone else. Remember: It’s easier to have an opinion about someone else’s actions than it is to have one about your own.

When you disconnect from participating to observing, you get a broader view. You’re like the General on the hill observing the whole battlefield vs. being the soldier in the middle of the fray. More useful decisions are made from this vantage point. This wider view is the gift of awareness.

I hope Santa brings you everything you’re hoping for, including the subtle passageway to peace – The Gift of Awareness.

All the best,

John

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I think, given a choice, most people would rather be smart than stupid, but when presented with the question “Would you rather be smart or savvy?”, they’re not as quick to answer.

We, as a culture, have put a premium on being smart. Some worship at the altar of intelligence and that’s really not a bad religion to have, except if you exclude people who aren’t necessarily smart but savvy.

Smart can sometimes be bonded with it’s uppity second cousin, “Superior.” Just look at some in the world of academia if you need textbook examples.

Smart, by itself, can be very limiting because of the amount of knowing that comes along with it. As The Grasshopper reminded us years ago, “When you know, you shut off the flow“ of learning.

Savvy is often treated like an underling. Sidebar: I was talking to a photography sales person about a particular product compared to another brand. I said, “So brand B is the ugly step-sister.” He responded, “But she brings the family fortune with her.”

Savvy is more open to new approaches than is smart. Savvy is more concerned with what’s possible rather than knowing all the reasons something can’t be done.

Savvy takes the facts and figures of many smart people and weaves them into a tapestry that would never exist if left to the world of knowers.

I enjoy being around smart people. They certainly can elevate a conversation and they often add to my vocabulary. I equally enjoy savvy people because they show me how to get things done.

If you run into a combination of smart and savvy, make sure to hang around that person as often as you can. Not only will you learn more but you’ll get more done.

All the best,

John

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Dear Santa,

I know you are really busy this time of year prepping for the big day, so I thought I would offer my services helping you sort the naughty from the nice.

This should help speed things up and take some pressure off the elves.

Here are the people who should get non-burning coal in their stocking:

• ANYONE who leaves a shopping cart in the middle of a store parking lot. SIDE NOTE TO SANTA: If possible, could you have your sleigh ding their car door on Christmas Eve?

• ANYONE who knocks on doors selling their brand of religion.

• The person who invented Robo Calls.

• Any man under 50 who refers to his spouse as “The Wife.”

• Any parent who puts their child on a leash.

• People who still give fruitcakes as presents.

• White guys with completely shaved heads. (There was only one Mr. Clean).

• Anyone who smokes with children in the car.

• Anyone who starts every sentence with “I.”

• Anyone who likes the theme song for the HBO Show “Boardwalk Empire.”

• TV broadcasters who pronounce the word “Forward,” “Foe-ward.”

• Donald Trump’s hair stylist.

On first blush, this may seem like a list of pet peeves, Santa, but please trust me that these are really evil people.

I can provide more naughty folks if you find this list helpful. Just email me. Hope you and “The Mrs.” (another candidate for coal) have a wonderful holiday.

All the best,

Little Johnny

P.S. Are you responsible for radio stations starting to play Christmas music on Halloween?

You don’t have to read any of the studies on the rhythms of the body to know that you have high and low points of energy throughout the day.

I am charged in the morning and wane a bit by early afternoon. Your pattern may be different.

What is the best use of these rhythms? Paraphrasing the late Jackie Gleason, “Be going out when the tide is going out and coming in when the tide is coming in.” When you do it any other way, you stress your system.

When you hit a low point, that’s a cosmic clue to not push through. We, through conditioning, ignore the stop signs and keep on going. This may work for you for awhile, in fact, for decades. The sticky wicket is this: This pattern of ignoring your rhythms will eventually bite you in the ass.

We all admire the will of the person working two or three jobs to put food on the table and keep a roof overhead. We all recognize that schedule cannot be sustained without pain. The person may persevere for years, but payback is coming.

This is what’s going on. Your body, in its infinite wisdom, is sending you “slow down” signals in the form of less energy. For whatever the reason – conditioning, choice, necessity, you push through. Here’s the rub: There comes a point where you push through one time too many and your body rebels. It, in effect, says, “If you don’t slow down, I will slow you down.” It does that with some sort of malady.

Initially, it could be something as mundane as a nagging pain in a certain body part or the flu. But you think that a tough person like you has to push through. When you ignore the initial warning signs and the ensuing maladies for too long, your body will send you a final warning – something that will flatten you and make you take notice.

If that’s happened to you, I’m sorry, but you should be grateful. Your body has offered you an ultimatum: Pay attention to your energy or perish.

You cannot rationalize this universal truth away: Ignore your body’s rhythms and you will pay.

Your body won’t accept the labels of “Type A” or “Hard Worker” and give you a pass, because those labels are based on ideology and not something measurable like the rhythms of your body.

Let’s pretend that you pay attention for awhile after being flattened and start to feel better. If you use that as a springboard to go back to your old ignoring ways, you’re not going to get much older.

Pushing through is something we all do. When it becomes your lifestyle, payment to the piper is coming due.

All the best,

John

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