I believe there are 4 basic ingredients regarding your intentions towards another person that are highly useful when communicating. Let’s call them LLHH.

LLHH is sort of like the “good” cholesterol. You can certainly add more than LLHH but if they are missing, your communication with yourself or another will be clouded. You may say all the necessary things but they all won’t get communicated unless you have LLHH as the foundation.

There are many conversations where LLHH are absent and this is more than sad. It’s impoverishing. You will have a poor communication without LLHH. You may get your desired outcome, but there will be “communication remorse” for you and the other if LLHH is missing.

My suggestion is, whenever possible, put off a communication until you can bring LLHH to the table.

LLHH aids communication even if the other person is your opponent. It belongs in everyday conversations, on up to treaty negotiations and presidential debates. If you are not intending LLHH to another, you can’t receive it yourself. Differing points of view and LLHH can peacefully coexist.

Take a moment before communicating with someone to include a silent intention of LLHH for them.

I’m sure you can think of isolated examples of where LLHH can’t be communicated. Rather than looking for the exception, the homework assignment for us is to look at the bigger picture and find out where LLHH intentions can be used more often.

I’m hesitant to use the word “always” because it’s so concrete. So as close to “always” as you can get, I recommend using the intention of LLHH in your communications. The only way you’ll know if it works for you is to take it for a test drive. I think you’ll like the smooth ride.

Oh, what’s LLHH?

Love, Laughter, Health & Happiness!

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

There are some beautiful retirement communities that I have visited. They are loaded with activities galore from championship golf to appealing clubs of like-minded people. It seems the people whom I meet at these places have led, and continue to lead, interesting, active and full lives. My guess is I will never move to one.

The main topic of conversation I hear is one that I believe is counter-productive – Health. But that conversation isn’t isolated to retirement communities. It’s like dog hair; it’s everywhere. I think I read a statistic that said that people researching health topics on the internet was more prevalent than searching for porn.

Talking about health seems to be the rapport building topic of choice with a large number of people. To me, engaging in this chit-chat is more harmful than the plague and I find it a major drain on my energy.

As I wrote in my free e-book, THE SUCCESS TRIANGLE:

Many people hold their state of health in place with words. The most destructive label is

the word “My.” “My arthritis” won’t allow me to play tennis anymore. “My diabetes”

leaves me with little energy. Two things that will give you more power immediately are:

1. Drop the word “My” from any disease process.

2. Apply “In the past” to any limitation you ascribe to the disease.

For example: “In the past, arthritis has kept me from playing tennis.” “In the past,

diabetes has caused me to feel less energetic.”

“My” is a word, to which we’ve been conditioned, that means ownership. Who wants to

own arthritis? I’m not suggesting this shift in language will make arthritis or diabetes

disappear. What I’m suggesting is, if you refer to it “In the past” and remove the

ownership, you may find your situation more palatable. Better yet, if there is a way your

mind can help you ease or put this disease behind you, this new language will facilitate

the process.

Even more to the point, talk only about your health with the people that can help you – your physician or mental health care provider.

Talking about your health challenges ad nauseam keeps nausea in place. It never adds to the conversation; it always brings it to a level of stagnancy where the germs multiply.

It’s as simple as this: What you focus on, you keep in place. Place your focus of conversation elsewhere and see how healthy you can get.

When I find myself trapped in a social setting where health is the topic of choice, I immediately bring to mind a picture of a ripe, luscious looking apple and politely tune out. Most people are not open to the idea that talking about their health situations keeps them sick, so there is little hope of convincing them in that setting. Their belief has too much support from like-minded people. The sickest people I know are always talking about sickness. The healthiest people I know rarely do.

This is an invitation to get curious and monitor your social conversations about your health because the more often you drone on about disease, the more you contribute to the cause rather than the cure.

To your good health,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

My business partner has a saying that goes something like this: “The reason it’s so difficult to climb the ladder of success is because it’s so crowded at the bottom rung.”

It seems accurate that our thinking keeps us on the rung we currently occupy. The major difficulty is we have set up some sort of competition with God that we know what’s possible for us. That is not only a limitation but hubris at the highest level.

What I remember from my construction days is that ladders can also be used to go down below decks as well. It seems we have it filed in our minds that ladders are only used to climb upward. That is one of the short-sighted mental limitations that we own.

We always seem to start at the bottom rung at ground level and we get into a pushing and shoving match not only with others but with ourselves. No wonder we stay in place.

We have convinced ourselves that we know the way up the ladder but the evidence proves our way is not working. I like to call it “a better way that doesn’t work.” We come up with the same tired solutions that have never worked before in the hopes that if we “try” harder, they will be successful this time.

Climbing downward below decks with the ladder is the first step to making our way back upward. There is no crowd at these depths. It’s from this deep, quiet place that you muster the energy and the strategy to climb higher.

When you use the ladder in this fashion, you have momentum built up when you reach ground level which propels you past the crowd elbowing for room on the bottom rung.

If you’re convinced that fighting for space is the way to go, you will be held down by the aura of mediocrity that surrounds you.

The key is to go in a different direction first – downward, deeper. This visit to the depths will make your climb more fluid and keep you from getting sandwiched in with the people competing with God who have a better way that doesn’t work.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

We just released our latest and most interesting CD – Hypnosis for Dogs.

More amazing than the CD are the comments or looks on peoples’ faces when you tell them or show them the title. Their faces screw up; they raise an eyebrow, laugh aloud, or shake their head like the guys in white coats can’t be that far away.

Rather than explain it, I invite you to read about it at http://HypnosisForDogs.com

There is a lot of guilt going on with the modern day dog owner. It stems from leaving their dog home along for extended periods of time while they have to go out and make a living. Many people attempt to assuage that guilt by buying their dog a CD filled with chirping birds and pet sounds of all sorts, or they put on Animal Planet on the TV to keep their dog company while they are away. I don’t want to add to anyone’s guilt, but there is no evidence that either one of those practices work.

Hypnosis for Dogs has a scientific base to end your dog’s “separation anxiety” and add to its health. Again, if you want to read about it, go to http://HypnosisForDogs.com

I wanted to put this product out years ago based solely on my own personal experience with getting dogs to relax and calm down using the phenomenon of hypnosis. That wasn’t enough for me. I needed more substantiation. It was my business partner, John Leslie who delved into the research and presented it in such compelling terms, that I knew I had to finally offer the product.

We have never offered a money back guarantee on any of our products because we find that many people who return a product never use it and claim it doesn’t work. I encourage you to read my blog post from January of 2008 that explains this practice. http://www.grasshoppernotes.com/blog/?p=118

I’m so certain you will take this CD out of the shrink wrap and put it in the player and get results, that we will offer our first money back guarantee ever on Hypnosis for Dogs. This is an amazing product and I am more than proud to put my name on it.

Special thanks go out to a few people who helped make this CD come together - Our fabulous graphic designer, Philip Chow, my good pal, Dick Durante
ddurante14@aol.com who composed and performed the psycho-acoustic music that you’ll hear on the CD, and Diane Miller who threw her crutches away and hopped on one casted foot to capture pictures of our beloved dog, Snuffy who appears on the cover of Hypnosis for Dogs.

If you are a dog lover or have a friend or family member who is, you’ll want to introduce them to Hypnosis for Dogs. They will thank you forever.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

For many, today is the last look at Summer 2008. If Memorial Day is the unofficial beginning of Summer, then Labor Day unofficially ends it. Regarding Summer, it seems we rush it in and then push it out.

We’re like the horticulturist who forces flowers to bloom early for the February flower show in the northeast. We seem to always want to rush a natural cycle. Reminds me of an expression my mother-in-law had. She would say that fever blisters were “3 days coming, 3 days here and 3 days going.” Have you noticed how many ineffective potions there are on the market to try and rush that cycle?

We are such an impatient species. We want to be millionaires by the time we’re 40 or have children before a certain age. We put way too much pressure on ourselves to produce magic by a magic date.

Dates are also the artificial cloak of cultural conditioning. How many ads have you seen or heard with the words “Summer Fun?” The presupposition is that when Summer is over, the fun goes out the window. Fall type ads remind us to keep our hair from changing color. Botox is used to keep Winter away. And Viagra is an artificial attempt to elongate Spring among other things.

We expend so much energy in not being where we are. It’s no wonder the groundhog is camera shy.

Take a moment today and just appreciate something about the day. In fact, if you’re looking for real magic, do that at least once a day, everyday - no matter what.

What does this day have to offer you that you can get nowhere else but right now? Seize the opportunity to celebrate the moment no matter what the calendar says.

As The Grasshopper has said, “A quality life is made of quality moments.” Stop looking at the calendar and begin feeling the present moment. It has a way of making time stand still.

All the best,

John

P.S. If you are a dog lover, I think you’ll have special interest in a new CD I have released. It’s been labeled the “Ultimate Health and Training Tool for Your Best Friend.” If you’re curious, Click Here to find out more.

I read with amusement that actor David Duchovny has entered treatment for “sex addiction.” My amusement is not that a man is seeking help with a situation in his life that has caused pain to his wife and children and others, but it is in response to a body of learned people who sat around and put a label on this behavior and called it an addiction. On second thought, it’s really not amusing; it’s downright sad.

This business of attaching labels to patterns of behavior and then putting them in a category called addiction does two counter-productive things:

1. It puts an imaginary limitation of the person with the problem.
2. It restricts those who offer assistance to help these people change behaviors.

The tacit, underlying belief system with the word “addiction” is this: “I am not responsible.” “I didn’t do it; my addiction did it.” Please stop. Let’s stop enabling people who have patterns of behavior that they refuse to take responsibility for.

There’s a reason there are so many attorney and psychiatrist jokes. A few practitioners taint the entire field of hard working, noble lawyers, doctors and counselors by proffering the “I didn’t do it” defense. The worst part is a portion of society starts to believe it.

“Your honor, the fact that my client drove his car into another and killed 4 people while addicted to alcohol merits special consideration because he couldn’t help himself. He needs treatment your honor, not jail time.” If you just laughed at the absurdity of that statement, hang out in a few court rooms or check in with a few attorney friends and you’ll find that defenses like these are uttered more than you can imagine.

Yes, address your personal situation and seek the help you need. Do not hide behind the word addiction. It doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t serve your loved ones or society.

The spin is that David Duchovny doesn’t “sleep around” because he wants to; he just can’t help himself because he’s addicted. Where does it end? “I’m addicted to robbing people at ATM machines” isn’t too far off if we continue with this absurdity.

What is your initial response when hearing a lie from another person when you both know they are lying? That’s the response that comes up for me when someone hides a jackass by sending out a scapegoat.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

My mother used to have a saying when someone was upset. She said, “They’ll get glad again.”
The Grasshopper had this to say the other day, “When you’re unhappy, your job is to find a way back to happiness.”

It’s no one’s responsibility but ours.

I, like you, have had unhappy moments in the past. I’m enough of a realist to know that I will have my share of them in the future. The key is to recognize that you’re unhappy and not to assign that feeling to circumstances. “I’m unhappy because . . .” is a statement that will keep you unhappy. “I have unhappiness inside me” is more of a platform for discovering the way back to happiness.

“I’m unhappy because . . .” keeps the story alive. The story will never lead you back to happiness. Experiencing the feeling of unhappiness in your body is the quickest way back. The minute you jump to your mind to justify the feeling in your body, you keep unhappiness in place that much longer.

There are causative factors that have us respond with unhappiness. Staying focused on the factors does nothing to alleviate our internal painful state. Paying attention to the feeling that goes along with the unhappy emotion gives it the recognition that it desires and deserves. Once the feeling is acknowledged, it begins the process of transmutation and leads us back to a happier state.

One of the biggest mistakes we can make when unhappy is to look outside ourselves for a solution. The solution always was and always will be inside. The outside remedies are always short term and never deal with the condition; they just cover it up.

Your job is to allow yourself the opportunity to recognize, acknowledge and sit with your unhappy feeling. There is a part of you that knows how to process that feeling and return you to the happiness that’s on the other side of it.

Chasing away the blues only works for awhile. I’ve never met anyone who has pissed and moaned their way to happiness. I doubt I ever will. Your job is to recognize that you can find your way there by allowing your body to do its job.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

As the children head back to school, my thoughts turn to teachers. Did you have a favorite one? I did. Reminds me of a story . . .

He was my 10^th grade biology teacher, Mr. Coletta. He had us call him by his first name, Rich. Rich had an interesting method of teaching especially when it came to testing. The day before a test he would put the test questions on the board. That meant you knew in advance what the questions were going to be. He encouraged you to research the answers and write them out that night so that the information would be fresh in your mind the next day. There was really no excuse not to do well on the test outside of pure laziness or indifference.

His method involved rehearsal vs. rote. His method involved a number of senses including the kinesthetic sense of physically writing out the answers as practice. It was quite ingenious for the time.

I had another teacher as an adult who taught me more about rehearsal. I’ve spoken of him many times. His name was Dr. Dave Dobson.

Dave taught us this wonderful exercise of rehearsing yourself in calm and collected feelings. It goes something like this:

Can you think of a time that you felt calm and collected? Involve as many senses as you can. What does it look like, sound like, feel like, smell and taste like to be calm and collected for you? Rehearse yourself in those feelings so you know exactly what it feels like to be calm and collected. Continue this rehearsal so that you can produce these feelings at a moment’s notice. Next, imagine a situation where you have some feelings that come up that are scary or bothersome. The minute you begin to experience those feelings, immediately bring to mind the calm and collected feelings you rehearsed yourself in. Rehearse this switching exercise over and over again until you become adept at it.

The result of this mental practice is that your mind will automatically throw the switch for you. This means that you will be able to respond appropriately and offer yourself more choices when scary or bothersome feelings come up.

Just like with Rich’s method, you have to do the rehearsal to do well on the test.

So I wonder how soon you’ll do this homework assignment and reap the benefits of rehearsal taught by two great teachers.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

I find that my biggest limitation is knowing, in advance, what’s possible. I’m not saying that logic is my enemy; it’s my governor. Reminds me of a story . . .

My friend, Anthony had a 1967 Firebird and I had a 1967 Camaro. One night we challenged each other to a race on an isolated dirt road near the airport. We were cautiously stupid. The cars had the exact same engines because they were basically the same car put out by General Motors to appeal to different brand loyalties – Pontiac and Chevy.

I was surprised my Camaro beat his Firebird every time and by a substantial margin. Much to my dismay, we ruled out that I was a superior driver because when we switched cars, we came out with the same result – the Camaro won.

Anthony thought there was a major problem with his car. We checked with our friend, Bob who worked at the Pontiac dealership as a mechanic. Bob told us there should not be that much disparity between the cars. His experience suggested the races should be closer to even. He examined the car. Bob found the governor on the engine was adjusted to slow the car down. His sense was it was done on purpose. This caused Anthony to ask his father about the governor and his father admitted he had it adjusted so that Anthony wouldn’t “speed around.” – some fatherly intuition at work.

A governor won’t allow a car to go past a certain speed if adjusted downward. It doesn’t matter how knowledgeable and skilled the driver is. Your beliefs are governors.

Knowing what’s possible is a belief. I found that bypassing beliefs made more things possible for me and others. When I work with a client and they ask me if what they want to achieve is possible, my response is always the same – “I don’t know what’s not possible.” It certainly takes off the blinders as to what is possible. This mindset removes limitation and lets you explore a territory you would have never entered by having the preexisting condition of knowing.

Knowing is a perpetually red traffic signal.

With knowing, we adhere blindly to the belief of staying stopped at the light even though we know the signal is malfunctioning.

Not knowing is an adventuresome research project that probes more possibilities than knowing knows is possible.

Regarding what’s possible: When you know, you impede the flow. When you don’t know, you grow.

The next time you’re about to put the kibosh on what’s possible, adjust the governor and see how fast you get to where you couldn’t go.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

I read a statement in the paper this morning that I did not believe. It was from a radio talk show host whose wife had filled out some radio ratings diaries from a radio measurement company to indicate her radio listening habits. This practice is against the company rules. If there is a member of the media in the household, you must decline the survey. Everyone in broadcasting knows this. This woman admits to filling out diaries that boosted her husband’s ratings exponentially – enough so that the company investigated.

The husband’s statement is that she did it without his knowledge. I don’t believe that. Am I calling him a liar? No!

“If you don’t believe his statement, you must believe that he is lying.” No, that’s not accurate. Aristotle may agree with you but I don’t. Perhaps an explanation is in order.

Regarding this story, I don’t have access to the truth. I was not there and I don’t live inside this guy’s head. I have no way of knowing the truth for sure, yet I don’t believe him. That does not make him a liar. My statement is a comment on my capacity to believe or not. I have put the onus on my belief and not on whether he’s telling the truth.

There is a major distinction here that goes far beyond the confines of this ratings story.

How much truth do we hold on to that we cannot validate? If it can’t be validated, it’s not true. It may be true inside your head, but it is not the absolute truth – it’s relevant truth – relevant to what you believe. Relevant truth can be useful or not.

For example, there are so many things we believe that are useful, yet not true. Many assumptions cannot be proven but many assumptions have paved the way to many great accomplishments. Columbus comes to mind. The “truth” was the world was flat. His assumption proved otherwise. Or, as Colin Tipping has written in his book Radical Forgiveness,

“. . . it is worth noting that even the most widely accepted theories are based on assumptions for which there is very little hard evidence. For example, did you know that not one shred of evidence exists to support Darwin’s Theory of Evolution? Historically, that theory ranks as one of the biggest assumptions ever made. It serves as the basic assumption behind all biological science and as the very foundation on which much of our accepted scientific truth rests. However, the fact that no evidence exists to prove this assumption true does not mean that the theory is invalid or not useful.”

We also hold as true some things that aren’t useful. How useful is prejudice? Talk to someone with a deep prejudice and you will find a deep relevant truth that can’t be validated, yet it is the foundation of his world.

My truth and your truth are mainly beliefs which cannot be validated. The absolute truth has no opposite. You won’t find truth in a debate – just relevant truths about peoples’ beliefs.

Take responsibility for your beliefs and stand up for them if you feel the need - just don’t make the mistake of labeling them as the truth. There will be consequences.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301