Who’s Kidding Who? - Grasshopper

Many years ago I was introduced to the concept of “Selective Perception.” I found this definition of it online:

Selective Perception refers to the tendency of individuals to interpret and perceive information based on their own preexisting beliefs, biases, and expectations. It is a thought process where people selectively attend to certain aspects of their environment while ignoring others.

The man who introduced me to Selective Perception explained with an example. He bought a new Volvo at a car dealership. He was to pick it up a few days later. While driving it home on a side road, he noticed a number of Volvos pass by in the opposite direction. He said to himself, “Those devils, how crafty of the dealership to have these cars pass me by in full view. They’ve arranged this to make me feel good about my purchase.”

How often do we paint scenarios like that in our mind? Make the facts fit our myth.

Here’s a personal example: I had been kidding myself for over 20 years about a desired expectation and explaining away all the facts to the contrary. I was envisioning an outcome with perceived notions that had no supporting data, other than information I made up to fit my story line.

It’s really more serious than kidding ourselves. It’s downright lying!

And like all lies, they eventually get found out. The sad news is you can spend a lifetime expecting something that you know in your heart is never going to happen.

What to do?

“Stop kidding yourself!” Now that’s a directive without direction.  

Here’s one approach to try on for size. Envision yourself on a deserted Island with no visible means of escape. Think Tom Hanks in the movie “Cast Away.”
 
No amount of explaining away the facts is going to get you off that island. Paying attention to what’s actually present in your environment, may. It’s your only hope of outgrowing your fairy tale by getting focused on what’s real.

It’s in times like these that you need tangible, not fantasy.

Think of someone you know who’s good in an emergency. They immediately take action on what’s right in front of them, not get lost in thought about what they should have done to prevent this from happening.

Treat your selective perception as an emergency and rescue yourself from Fantasy Island.

All the best,