Are You In Therapy? - Grasshopper

There are probably more people in therapy now than at any time in history. And that’s encouraging and disheartening at the same time.

Encouraging because something is bothering you enough that you decided you need help.

Disheartening because most people don’t get what they want out of therapy.

Here’s the upside of finding an effective therapist.

1. They’ve seen your issue before or a similar version of it.
2. They provide an unbiased ear. It’s not their issue, it’s yours.
3. They have a track record of success.

But here’s the downside of most therapy I’ve witnessed: Too much time and effort delving into why you are the way you are, and too little time building a bridge from where you are to where you want to go.

I can appreciate that people believe that once they know why they are the way they are, that’s a solution. It isn’t. It’s a history lesson. And history is useful in getting you not to go where you’ve already been, but dwelt on too long just takes you back in time, when what you really want is a way forward.

What if you find out that the reason you are the way you are is because your mother fed you from the wrong breast. Now as absurd as that sounds, let’s just pretend for a moment that it’s true. So what! How does that move you forward?

It’s of little consequence how you got here. Suppose, for example, you were dropped off on a deserted island by boat, helicopter, or parachute. How does focusing on that conveyance do anything to get you off the island? It doesn’t.  

Looking for reasons can take a lifetime and not lead to any satisfaction even if found. You’ll still be alone with your thoughts that are filled with “shoulds” and “oughts” and battles you’ve fought.

It’s time to leave yesteryear and find out what’s here, now. If you’ve found a therapist that can help you do that, take a bow. You’re on your way to finding out how, to move forward.

All the best,