What do you do with the stain that just won’t go away?

It really depends whether the stain is on the inside or outside.

The outside stains are, for the most part, indelible. They become part of the fabric known as you. Think of them as your mistakes. They become part of the permanent record.

We’ve all spilled some proverbial grape juice on ourselves whose stain may fade with time, but it will never go away as long as people have memories.

Attempting to erase that stain is as futile as trying to change history. Any additional effort will be wheel spinning of the highest order. You did it and there are consequences.

Conversely, inside stains can be washed away completely.

Here’s the arithmetic: One inside stain causes more pain and shame than all the outside stains of a lifetime put together. It’s our dirty little secret.

The inside stain is the one that has not been washed in the waters of forgiveness. It stays ever present beneath the surface and affects everything you do. It’s got more staying power than a dog on a meat wagon.

So how do you find the cleansing waters of forgiveness? It begins with a willingness to entertain the idea that forgiveness will find you.

You cannot will your way to forgiveness no matter how many attempts you make. “I forgive myself” is an oxymoron. You would be like the moron using Oxi to try and clean an inside stain.

Willpower does not lead to forgiveness; willingness does.

Willingness set the framework; willpower bars the door.

If you need an affirmation, here’s one that will begin the process: I am
willing to have forgiveness enter my life.

This affirmation bypasses whether you think you deserve forgiveness or not. All you are suggesting is that you are willing to have forgiveness enter your life without setting any conditions.

Willingness is a powerful mindset. You are not willing what you want to happen; you are using the power of willingness to open a valve for forgiveness to enter should it come down the pipe.

It’s like they say about the lottery, “You can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket.” Willingness increases your chances of winning.

Forgiveness is an all purpose cleanser for deep, inside stains. The only question you need to ask yourself is: “Am I willing?”

All the best,

John

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I am amazed when I look at the bamboo plant my grandson gave me two Christmases ago. It sits in the front window and grows towards the light.

When you turn it around and leave it that way for a few weeks, you see that it bends back towards the light.

We, like the bamboo plant, are light seekers and quite malleable.

I recently learned that the word, “Photography” comes from two Greek words:

Photo – meaning light.

Graphy – meaning draw.

It literally means drawing with light.

Great photographers, painters, and drawers of all stripes are drawn to the light, as are the rest of us.

There is rejuvenation in light. Physicians use Light Therapy to successfully treat a variety of conditions and the practice dates back to ancient India.

It seems not only our minds and bodies are drawn to the light, but our spirits as well.

There is a part of us always seeking the light. We know from experience that when we experience this light, there is no comparison to its healing qualities in the tangible world.

When we take the opportunity to bathe in this light, there is an all encompassing sense that all is taken care of.

It seems that when your spirit is healed, all on the surface follows suit.

Help your spirit find the light it’s always seeking. There are many techniques for finding the light. They all work and they all have one thing in common – Silence.

A quiet mind opens the door to light. Find the technique that quiets your mind. I believe it’s the reason Yoga has grown in popularity in recent times. It’s mostly packaged under physical fitness but, perhaps, it’s the quieting of the mind feature that keeps people coming back.

We can all use some enlightenment. It rejuvenates our spirit and can creatively shape our earthly experience in ways we can’t consciously comprehend.

Remaining in the dark is no longer an option when you expose yourself to light.

All the best,

John

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Action’s biggest stumbling block is inertia.

Newton’s First Law of Motion explains that an object at rest will remain at rest until acted on by a force.

Forcing yourself to move is always a starting point, not a lifelong strategy.

Willpower is a force. It’s like the Russian Olympic weight lifter that can move a car with his mass, but can’t find pants that fit.

It’s helpful to have willpower to get you started, but if you seek it as a steady diet, you’ll remain at rest and shopping at the Plus Size Shop.

This is not as much about weight as it is about movement.

Back to Newton’s First Law: “Every object persists in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state.”

There is magic in movement. That magic is called momentum, another of Newton’s Laws.

You cannot get to momentum if you are always starting. You waste all of your energy starting one thing after another and never getting into the flow of one specific thing. This will leave you scattered, depleted and quickly return you to a state of rest.

Movement has transformative qualities about it. That means if you commit to movement in any one area, the momentum it causes transfers into other areas of your life that need movement.

Pick one area of your life and add physical movement to it. For example, if you are a homebody, couch potato, or anti-social, move yourself outside your home on a regular basis. Take a walk, go to the market, visit a friend, anything that causes you to move more than you normally do.

You are training yourself in movement and, with practice, you will find your way to momentum.

Movement is the catalyst for momentum and momentum will find its way into all that you do.

There’s a reason that business books are filled with this idea: If you want to get a job done, give it to a busy person. The thought being that a busy person is already in the flow and his/her momentum will infuse your project.

This is not a recommendation to get busy for busy’s sake. That’s wheel spinning. This is about movement in a specific direction.

Pick something in your life and add physical movement to it. That means do more than think about it.

Movement leads to momentum and momentum leads to completion. If you get in the habit of movement, you will automatically complete more things, including some things you thought you could never do.

Get momentum on your side; it all begins with movement which is only a step away.

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
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Not everyone loves to solve puzzles; I do.

When I used to get the newspaper, I would do the Sudoku number puzzle each weekday. The publishers started you off with an easy one on Monday and the difficulty increased each day with Friday’s puzzle being hard.

At first, the Friday puzzles were marathons. I would wrack my brain attempting to solve them but the answers wouldn’t come. I would have to set it down and come back to it later with fresh eyes to make more progress. It would sometimes take me into Sunday to solve it.

Eventually, Friday’s puzzles weren’t as hard. At first I thought the puzzle makers had taken mercy on me and made the hard ones less hard, but the truth is hard got much easier.

Here’s my observation: Anything you do that’s easy for you is a result of conditioned behavior; anything that’s hard, isn’t.

If it’s easy for you to speak in front of a group, you’ve developed a pattern that makes it easy. If it’s hard for you to lose weight, you’ve developed a pattern that makes gaining weight easy.

The American “Quick Fix” Philosophy that we’ve spread around the whole world gets in the way of us seeing this plain truth: Hard becomes easier with practice.

It seems no one wants to practice anymore. I see this at my seminars on a regular basis. People want you to wave a magic wand and make their problems disappear. They don’t want to hear that they must practice to be successful.

We’ve been conditioned to what I call the “Fairy Dust Model.” It’s as though all we have to do is take some magic potion and we needn’t expend any effort to get what we want. You can’t live on a diet of hook, line and sinker.

The real success of the book “The Secret” is that it tapped into the part of people who are looking for easy. There is lots of valuable information in there but the bottom line is that at some point you have to stop dreaming and take action to get results.

We’ve become addicted to shortcuts that short circuit our success.

The failure of most exercise programs is due to lack of proper practice. The difficulty is we want it all and we want it right now. We buy the expensive gym membership or the exercise gizmo on the infomercial and we go at it with guns-a- blazzin’. Your easy pattern will rebel and make it too hard for you to continue.

You cannot eat a whole cow at once.

Practice what is hard in small steps until it becomes easier. Hard never becomes easy overnight. The ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu comes to mind:

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

If you have a hard road ahead of you, take it easy on yourself or you’ll never get there. You’ll start a thousand journeys and not make any real progress until you recognize that hard only becomes easy in steps.

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
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Growing up is really growing out, or better put – Outgrowing.

Many people are “bound and determined” to make changes in the New Year. That sounds a bit like constipation to me.

The change that is necessary for us to make changes is to outgrow our response to the stimulus that causes us to react with undesired behavior.

Weight loss is the biggest New Year’s goal. The reason most people fail to keep off the weight they lose is because they never offer themselves the opportunity to outgrow their reaction to a stimulus.

Sometimes this change happens naturally and sometimes we have to give it a nudge. Here’s the story I often tell about natural outgrowth . . .

My father’s union had a Christmas Party each year for all the kids. We got to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what we wanted for Christmas, and each child received a gift that day. When I was in first grade, I was anxious to get on Santa’s lap and make my requests. When I was in second grade, Santa began to resemble my father’s friend, Mr. Ferguson. I sat on his lap anyway because I didn’t want to miss out on asking for what I wanted in case it really was Santa. When third grade rolled around, I knew it was Mr. Ferguson and there was no way I would sit on his lap.

What happened here? The stimulus, Mr. Ferguson was the same each year; it was my response that had changed, and it happened quite naturally without any conscious effort on my part.

The little nudge technique is worthy of your attention. It’s an exercise I learned from the late Dr. Dave Dobson. He called it a “Subjective reversal.” That means the stimulus (subject) would reverse your response to something more useful.

The technique begins by rehearsing yourself in some calm and collected feelings. That means to find a time in your mind when you were totally calm and collected. It may have been 10 minutes ago or 30 years ago, it really doesn’t matter. Just find a time you were calm and notice what that calm feels like in your body. Rehearse this technique over and over again until you can feel calm feelings in your body.

Next bring to mind the stimulus that triggers unwanted feelings or behaviors. When you begin to feel those reactive feelings in your body, switch yourself to feeling calm and collected. Remember: This is your imagination; you can do anything you want with it. Do this exercise over and over again until you can switch from the reactive feelings to the calm and collected feelings in a second or two.

The natural offshoot of this repeated rehearsal is that you automatically begin to switch from the reactive feeling to the calm and collected feelings without having to consciously throw the switch. That means that the stimulus now automatically triggers calm and collected feelings. And remember: When you are calm and collected, you make much better choices.

This is outgrowing the old way and growing into a new way without binding yourself to a plan that has failed every time you have used it in the past.

If you have the ability to outgrow the goofy clothes you wore as a teenager, you can outgrow anything.

Happy New Year!

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE