If you’ve seen enough cop and lawyer shows, many times you have been treated to the question, “Does the end justify the means?”

The Grasshopper weighed in from out of the blue on that topic yesterday. He said, “It depends on who’s judging the means.”

I think most reasonable people can agree on desired ends but we become totally unreasonable when evaluating the means.

Our arguments have more to do with conditioning than they do truth. Yet we’ll make the bold claim that a working methodology is the work of the devil if it doesn’t match our version of the truth.

Look at the current economic slump. There is a common end we can agree on, but the means to get there gets demonized by all sides because it doesn’t match up with a specific ideology.

The therapy business is replete with ends/means debate. Papers are written, symposiums attended, and patients continue to suffer because their therapist is stuck with an antiquated model.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I worked with a woman who was a stutterer. She was an attractive interior designer who had trouble stringing three sentences together without going into an extremely noticeable stuttering pattern. She had spent $10,000 to go to this renowned clinic that specialized in stuttering. It didn’t help. She had sought help with a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

She attended my weight loss clinic and came up afterwards to speak to me. I remarked that she didn’t look in need for weight loss and asked her purpose in attending. It was obvious when she began to speak. She wanted to know if I could help her with her stuttering. I responded with the phrase I learned from my mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson, “I don’t know what’s not possible.” We set up an appointment.

We had three sessions. After the first session, there was marked improvement. She attended a session with her psychiatrist in between our sessions and he emphatically cautioned her that what I was doing was not going to last and that it was giving her false hope. He called it a “placebo effect.”

Well maybe the good doctor should have gone and heard her address the Chamber of Commerce flawlessly, or read the letter she sent to me months later that cited her new found ability to speak without stuttering for the first time in her life.

If someone is getting results I’m not getting, I want to know their means. It may not match up with my idea of what works, but I am not going to oppose their methodology simply because it doesn’t agree with mine, especially if they’re getting results.

My message is we are too quick to judge things in our head. I may raise an eyebrow when I hear something that seems “whacky,” but if it’s getting results, I want to be able to put my beliefs aside for a moment, and entertain the possibility.

I may ultimately decide that their means aren’t a fit for me, but it won’t be based on my ideology. I’ll take the time to explore new or novel means and then see where I end up.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

Helping people comes down to this: Helping them discover more options. It’s really that basic.

What is being stuck other than a lack of options?

People who are “set in their ways” are stuck – stuck with one option.

People who abuse themselves or others are short on options.

People who make the same mistakes over and over again are blind to options.

How do we find these options that we don’t currently have?

The first step is to know they are there, somewhere.

The main difficulty is that so many of us have convinced ourselves that options are not available that we stop looking. Imagine if you took that approach every time you lost your car keys.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I wanted to take my family to Disney World on a vacation. I couldn’t afford it, or so I was convinced. I was resigned to spending the week at home doing day trips to the beach and other local attractions. That was certainly family oriented and affordable, but it wasn’t Disney. I roughly knew what the day trips would cost and it fit in with our budget. I don’t know what possessed me to take this next step but I just dropped in on a local travel agent and asked about pricing for a trip to Disney World. I knew I would leave her office disappointed.

Imagine my surprise when I found out the vacation to Disney World would cost me the same amount that I would be spending on my local family vacation. 1984’s Disney visit is a grand family memory that lives on with each of us ’til this day. It came about because I explored options.

Options open doors.

The deeper discovery is finding that we have internal options. There are parts of us that know how to do things that we cannot consciously figure out. How do we get access to those options? The same way we do with external ones – know they are there, somewhere.

It may take some pretending to kick start the options machine but bear in mind the memorable aphorism that Wayne Dyer offers –”Imagination is the force of creation.”

The key is to act “as if” there are options. Just this small adjustment in your angle of approach presents doorknobs that heretofore were invisible.

Try on these two phrases and notice what feelings they produce in your body.

“There’s nothing I can do.”

“I wonder if there is a way to accomplish this?”

One will cause constriction; the other openness.

Constriction will keep you stuck; Openness will present options.

Make time today to open up to options and discover possibilities that you thought were impossible.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

My grandson downloaded a Frank Sinatra Album from iTunes yesterday. It seemed a bit out of character for someone so young, but while he was having lunch at a restaurant in our version of “Little Italy,” Sinatra was playing in the background and it enhanced his experience and he wanted to re-create it.

He has large speakers at home and was playing Sinatra through them. I began to hear “My Way,” A Song Paul Anka had written for Sinatra. Parts of the lyrics contain this phrase: “Regrets, I’ve had a few; but then again, too few to mention.”

It got me to musing about regrets.

Who wouldn’t, given the opportunity, do something differently that didn’t turn out so well? If your hand didn’t go up, you must be Mr. Spock.

We all entertain regrets.

Regrets can have a more noble purpose than walking down memory lane and beating yourself up. There can be an upside to regrets.

Seeing as we all have them, we may as well start having them work for us.

What if, every time you notice personal regret, you have that experience serve as a springboard to launch you into behavior that automatically moves you to a more creative place?

It’s an opportunity to take something that comes to you so naturally (regret) and transform it into personal growth. There is no growth attached to sitting around repeatedly running your regrets through your mind. That’s a downward spiral towards stuck.

When you notice yourself regretting something, allow your mind to throw a creative switch that triggers new ways of outgrowing stuck behavior. All you have to do is rehearse a little bit.

Here is a very powerful exercise: Think about a time that you were exceptionally creative. Make it a time when creativity was flowing through you like water through a fire hose. Make up the experience if you have to. The objective is to get a sense of what creativity feels like in your body. After some rehearsal, you’ll be able to produce that feeling on command. Now, think of something you regret. Start with a small one. The minute you feel the regretful feelings, throw the switch and bring the creative feeling into your body. Do this over and over again until regret begins to trigger creativity automatically.

Then move up to a bigger regret and repeat the process. With just a little bit of concentrated practice, you can train your mind to have your natural regrets trigger creative solutions – ones that bring enough joy to make your regrets too few to mention.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

Can you imagine the sound of many voices singing off key at once? That would be my definition of hubbub. The dictionary describes “Hubbub” as a confused noise of many voices. Such was the case for my four hour visit to New York City – Hubbub.

The city moves at a frenetic, disjointed pace. I’m sure there are some foreign cities that could match or outdo New York’s patchwork quilt of cacophonous sounds but I haven’t experienced them yet.

I took some video footage of the Empire State Building and didn’t notice until I played it back at a video store that under the din of the streets was the silence that’s always present. You just have to listen for it.

Even in the midst of a noisy, plate clattering restaurant at midday in Manhattan, you can find the silence. You just have to pursue it.

You can define your life by the noise that surrounds you or you can dig a bit deeper and find the soothing silence.

I’ll admit that New York is a challenge but even amidst its hubbub, there is a quiet spot that each of us can find.

The word “Universe” literally means one song. There is only one song on the subterranean juke box and it’s by Simon & Garfunkel. It’s “Sounds of Silence.”

Everyone is singing that one song at a deeper level. Sometimes it’s difficult to notice when we’re surrounded by hubbub.

Everyone has their own version of mental noise. You don’t have to travel to New York City to find it. You also don’t have to travel anywhere to find the same stillness that sits deep beneath the turbulent surface waters of an angry ocean.

You can attempt to soundproof your life. Based on my experience, that project will fail. The alternative is to take the noise of life as it comes and seek the quiet spot that’s always present. It’s from here that you’ll find that quiet confidence to bring to the surface to manage the hubbub of life.

The quiet we all seek is between our thoughts. Take a moment today to notice the spaces that show up between your thoughts. Those spaces, when noticed, expand into even more silence. Notice how the noise on the outside becomes less of a burden when the noise on the inside disappears.

Become your own experiment today. Find the silence beneath your hubbub and notice how quickly your life quiets down.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

I am often amused by people who give advice on parenting. I am equally amused when they tell you they have the right way to parent.

My late mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson said it best: “We are all amateur parents.”

There are no degrees offered in parenting. If there are, please show me the children of the teachers before I sign up.

Every parent has a different formula whether they realize it or not.

The reason I’m amused by the parenting “experts” is that they either give advice or start spouting doctrine before the full evidence has been presented.

The full evidence is an adult that’s functioning well in society.

The parceling out of unsolicited parenting advice is as silly as bragging how great your cake is going to taste after putting a bunch of unknown ingredients into your mix.

It may very well be a successful recipe but I wouldn’t try it until I tasted the final product.

Brag all you want about your kids but save your parenting advice to others until your children are grown.

Reminds me of a story . . .

We had a neighbor many years ago who was politely suggesting that what we were doing with our child was not the best way to go. She offered, in a non direct way, that the method that she was using with her child was better. My wife politely nodded and when she was out of earshot said, “Check with me in 20 years.”

There is no winning a parenting argument. Parenting practice is a belief that we got like many other of our beliefs – we don’t know how we got it. We absorbed some of it from our own amateur parents and the rest we made up.

People who offer parenting advice, by and large, are well meaning individuals but they lack evidence.

If you’re looking for a parenting model other than the one you have, look a generation ahead of you and look at the young adults you would like your children to have the traits of. Then find their parents and explore their recipe.

My parenting days are over and I would never offer anyone a prescription unless asked. I would offer this: Do the best you can and trust what your gut is telling you.

Just don’t announce that you have the secret formula until your evidence matures.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

It’s tough leading your whole life by a dictionary definition – a role, a label, a mindset. Yet that’s precisely what we do, until we don’t.

Are you a mother? Father? Perhaps you’re a cabinet maker or strong willed.

Did you ever notice that when you define yourself, your options of being something else disappear?

The old axiom is accurate: “When you label it, you limit it.”

You take so many options off the table for yourself when you define yourself. The definition locks you in to a mental fairy tale. Yes, you may be the mother to a child, but you needn’t be locked in to the label that “Mother” connotes in your head. If you do that, you won’t be able to do or be what a mother “shouldn’t” do or be.

My favorite response to the question “What do you do?” is “I’m a house wife.” I usually ask the person if they are married to a house. This usually is enough of a pattern interrupt to show them their labeling system and its limitations.

If you examine your labels of yourself, you will find your limitations. The label self imposes them.

What label is mischaracterizing you?

Here’s my suggestion: Drop a label from your life and find out what happens.

Look through your list of labels and “downsize” one of them. Give it a pink slip. Notice the freedom that goes along with not having to be that anymore. You may still do all the functions associated with that label but you won’t be it anymore. By letting go of the label, you open yourself up to options. These options remain invisible as long as we have a label covering them over.

People may not appreciate you until you appreciate yourself. Part of that appreciation is recognizing there is more to you than a definition can ever communicate.

Losing your label is a step towards self discovery. When you are free of labels, you free yourself from the limitations they imply.

Define is the opposite of divine.

One doorway to your divinity is to remove the label that says “Do not enter.”

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

Something has walked out the door and my sense is it’s never coming back.

It’s never been in abundant supply to begin with and you’ve NEVER witnessed it in politics.

It’s a special phrase that you’ll occasionally hear in sports, but hardly ever in real life.

It’s as though glue forms in our mouth when our mind wants to issue these words. What comes out instead is something that sounds like a PR firm was consulted before we spoke.

These are magic words. They aren’t as magical as “I’m sorry,” but they could play the lounge in Vegas.

What is this phrase that has made a mass exodus from our culture?

MY BAD!

When did we hop off the train of personal responsibility? What stops us from pointing a finger in our own direction? This is a pandemic. If you want to make huge amounts of money in this challenging economy, start selling scapegoats. There’s no seeming end for their demand.

Thesaurus words like “Mitigate” and “Obfuscate” take the place of two words that say it all – MY BAD!

I know Facebook folks are famous for joining groups. I want to form a new one – BRING BACK “MY BAD”!

Our painted faces are so afraid of rain that “MY BAD” has become a thunderstorm that’s to be avoided at all costs. Did you ever notice how good the air smells after a thunderstorm?

MY BAD is good for what ails you.

Test it out today to be sure that I’m not making this up. Start small and work your way up, but make the commitment today to take back your personal responsibility and find a way to say, MY BAD!

All the best,

John

I wonder if anyone ever noticed that the acronym TGIF, if rearranged, spells GIFT.

Like many, I share the cultural glee associated with Friday. It is the doorway to the weekend where many people have the opportunity to enjoy many things including relaxing and recharging.

Too often, people use the gift of weekend free time to cram in lots of activity that leaves them more drained when Monday again rolls around. Then the cycle repeats every Friday at quitting time.

“Doing it all” is like trying to eat a whole cow at once, yet that’s what too many attempt to do almost every weekend. It takes its toll.

On top of that, what many people don’t realize is that they tire themselves out more mentally than physically. The thought machine is the biggest waster of energy that we own. It’s the incessant talk that drives us to the abundant activity that’s supposedly going to fill our life with what’s missing.

There is nothing missing.

We can’t wait to get “there” so we can find what’s eluding us. Reminds me of a story . . .

One of the pet peeves I have with radio broadcasters is them telling their listeners when their shift ends. Let’s pretend their time slot is from 3 until 7 p.m. About 3:10, I will hear them say, “I’ll be here until 7 tonight.” They may as well have said, “I’d rather be anyplace than here” because that’s exactly what they are communicating.

When they get to 7 O’clock, life will begin, or so they think.

Pulling yourself out of the moment takes massive energy. You drain yourself anytime that you begin thinking that another moment will be better than this one. You make your job 10 times harder than it has to be.

Yes, enjoy the heck out of your weekend, just don’t live for it. Doing so robs you of precious energy and has you miss your share of peaceful, recharging moments that can be enjoyed any day of the week, even at work.

If you suffer from the “Sunday night dreads,” getting out of your head and into the moment is the best thing you can do for your energy level, your well being and your peace of mind.

When you give yourself the gift of mental peace, you’ll turn every day into TGIF.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

This is a short story on some “E” words.

“Envy” is wanting what somebody else has and “Emulate” is an attempt to equal somebody or something.

One is a pure head trip; the other an excursion into fruitful action.

Envy implies that it’s only available to someone else, not you. This may cause you to dislike the person who has what you want. It will often cause some to try and take it away from another. Envy will always deliver a feeling of lack within you. It also sets up a carrot and stick mindset with you chasing what you cannot get for a lifetime.

Envy serves no purpose. It’s a self destructive poison that has no upside.

Enter emulation.

I don’t know where I first encountered the phrase but I remember having a profound shift when I read, “If you want what someone else has, don’t envy them; emulate them.”

That’s the day envy left my life. It’s rather freeing. It frees up energy to begin the process of emulation.

This is why mentoring is so helpful. When you find a mentor, you’re being tutored in replicating the steps they’ve taken to achieve similar results. Everyone has access to a mentor. They don’t even have to be living for you to benefit.

Successful people have recipes for success. Emulating them is a two step process:

1. Find their recipe.
2. Follow it.

In the case of notable people who have passed on, they most likely have left some literature behind. Autobiographies are chuck filled with tasty recipes. You may have to search a little harder if they haven’t spelled it out, but the recipe is there.

Others have written step-by-step books which outline precisely what they did to get what they got.

Here is a secret. All the recipes work; you just have to use them.

Here’s the secret to failure: Take shortcuts with the recipe.

Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I was hired to consult a radio station that had very talented, yet undisciplined, personalities. There was no formula in place for success. It was like a football team where each player had a different playbook. My job was to institute a recipe that put people on the same page and get the most out of their talent level.

It was met with a lot of resistance. Highly talented, highly compensated people were miffed that I was asking them to do basic stuff. My explanation was: “Show me that you can do this and then we’ll expand to the next level.” It wasn’t that they didn’t know how to do what I was asking; they had just forgotten that it was necessary. They were leaving basic ingredients out of the recipe and the cake was flat.

There are no shortcuts to success yet emulation will get you there quicker.

Don’t envy a recipe book – use it. Find one that’s appealing to you and follow it to the letter. Once you become adept at automating the basics, then you can improvise and make life even tastier for you and those who follow in your footsteps.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

At first, it was hard for me to accept that the future doesn’t exist. “Tomorrow or one minute from now is the future” was my logical retort. Then it dawned on me, the future is just a continuation of the present, just as the present is a continuation of the past. There really is only one moment – the one you’re in now. Some pretty heady stuff!

Now is your window of opportunity. This wisdom has been offered before. Benjamin Franklin reminded us, “Don’t put off ’til tomorrow that which you can do today.” Many have used that mantra as a prescription to combat laziness. It contains more truth than that.

The Grasshopper checked in with this: “Your portal to the future is the present moment.”

It seems that any notion of the future is tied to the past somehow. NLP pioneer, Richard Bandler underscored that idea when he said, “When people don’t deal with the past as if it’s over, then they’re not free to go into the future.”

The only time to deal with the past, to which Bandler refers, is right now. The only time to deal with any imagined future is right now. The only moment that ever exists is the one you’re in right now. It’s the only moment where change can happen.

We get caught up in the construct of time that tells us we have more time than we have. We spend our time living in one of two fantasylands – the past or the future. On one hand, we get frustrated when the next moment doesn’t look any different than this one. We equally annoy ourselves when we compare this moment to our 8 x 10 glossies of the past and it doesn’t match up.

The common connection to past and future is right now. Right now is your future. Right now is the only time you can outgrow your past.

The opportunity for growth is available to each and every one of us right now.

The surest route to stagnation is staying stuck in the past or future.

Have all the reveries of the past that you desire and all the visions of the future that you can handle. They can act as fodder for change. But don’t confuse the musings for the action that’s necessary. That action can only take place in the moment you’re in. The past moments are over and the future moments don’t exist. Your window of opportunity is only open in one moment – right now.

What are you doing with this moment?

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com