Are you strumming or are you being strummed?

Best I can tell, we are being played, but we think we are doing the playing. We are creatures of learned patterns. They control us; we don’t control them.

Once we recognize that, it brings us to one of life’s biggest missions – that it’s our destiny to notice the illusion of control in this lifetime.

The only “control” we have over anything is our ability to notice. Once we lock in on that skill, the illusion of control begins to melt and fade away. This experience is scarier and more fun than your favorite thrill ride.

It’s my new favorite source of amusement – noticing that I think I have any control. I have trained myself to laugh at such a notion when I get caught up thinking that I run the universe. There are so many examples to witness in yourself and others that you’ll never run out of amusement.

Back to patterns . . .

We have learned so many automated routines in our lifetime and we just don’t notice that we’re on automatic pilot. The biggest clues of the automaticity we operate with are the justifications we use to defend our actions. “I did that because . . .” has to become “I did that” before we have any chance of noticing our patterns.

Start to notice what you do and put an end to justifying why. It sucks the gray out of black and white and helps you to become clear on how your patterns operate.

Once you notice that you just do, the patterns of thinking and behavior behind the doing begin to show themselves. You begin to see your conditioning and you quickly learn that you’ve been living your life in reaction mode with absolutely no control.

Noticing is the magic elixir to outgrow patterns and rid ourselves of the notion that we control anything.

Each time we notice a pattern in action, it’s an invitation and an opportunity to learn something new. We broaden our choices when we recognize patterns. Before, we only had one choice. Now we have untold options.

We don’t have any more control, but we become less controlled and controlling just by noticing.

Noticing is the key to finding out about you. Who doesn’t want to know more about themselves?

The real discovery is that you notice that control is a pattern – one that’s been running you. By noticing, you find something more real than control – the option of choice.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

I used to say “I’m an amateur, frustrated graphic designer. I know what looks good; I just don’t know how to get it to look that way.”

My justification for my statement was that I picked up the instruction books and made efforts to self teach myself, but the results kept me wanting and making mediocre designs.

The good news is I discovered a tool called layers in the process. What are layers?

Let’s say that you want to make some adjustments to a photo you are contemplating using in your design. You could work directly on the photo or you could use layers. A layer is like a clear piece of plastic you put over the picture. You make the adjustments on the layer rather than directly on the picture. This gives you an opportunity to keep the original picture intact while making your additions, subtractions and enhancements on the layer. If you don’t get the results you’re after, you can remove the layer and begin with another until you do.

The ultimate result is a better looking picture.

It got me to thinking about the work that I do with people. I discovered that I rarely work on the surface anymore. In the past, when I worked on their original photo, my results were too hit and miss. Working on the original constitutes giving advice.

Giving advice may be “spot on” or it may be spotty. Once you get spots on the original, it proves more difficult to correct. Working on the original rarely has any beneficial effect. Giving your opinion may prove temporarily helpful but the benefits are not usually lasting. Think of it this way: Opinions are like websites – every asshole has one.

Working on layers with people is a way of working on the original without doing any harm. It’s sort of like the Hippocratic Oath that physicians take.

I find that people have parts of them – layers if you will. I like to work with the part of them that has the difficulty. I find there is rarely any difficulty with the original. The problem sits on a layer somewhere. My job is to find that layer and make the corrections there, improving the overall picture.

So how does this translate to you? My suggestion is to use the words that you describe yourself with judiciously. Those words are “I am.”

“I am an awful mother. I am a dreadful spouse. I am the laziest person I know. I am a blah, blah, blah.”

When you make disparaging declarations using “I am,” you are working on the original photo and doing harm.

What if you said, “There is a part of me causing me to be lazy”? That immediately takes the onus off of the whole and ascribes it to a part. It’s much easier to work on a part than it is to work on the whole.

If you only have a faulty carburetor, how accurate is the statement, “This is a lousy car”?

We are in the habit of making those type statements about ourselves and the result is damage to the original, with little hope of getting to the specific part and making repairs.

Begin to notice your disapproving “I am” statements and take them apart. Make it your mission to find the part of you that needs work rather than ascribing your flaw to the whole of you.

Just this subtle shift in awareness is oftentimes all that is necessary to go to work on the layer that needs attention. It makes life much more manageable by not having to eat a whole cow at once.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

The other day I noticed that the words “Scared” and “Sacred” have the exact same letters. It got me to wondering.

My thought process went something like this . . . the ego is always scared and runs from anything that suggests its demise. When we find a sacred place within, there is no room in there for our ego and it will do anything to keep us from going where it doesn’t exist.

It’s like the story Jerry Stocking tells of the manager who won’t hire the efficiency expert because he fears if there are no problems to manage, there is no need for a manager.

There is a sacred place we can all visit. Everyone has a membership card. You just have to use it.

Your ego will tell you that sacred is too touchy-feely for you because it’s scared you will leave its sphere of influence. This is certain death for the ego and it will wage a holy war to keep you on the battlefield. The last thing ego wants is for you to find a bunker of solace. It’s scared that you will find that the war it wages everyday is not necessary and it will be harder to get you to fight all those nasty others.

When you find your sacred place, you find the communal well that we all drink from and you find the commonality that we all share – life.

The ego is scared that you will find out that the other is you, just inside another skin. It’s hard to convince you to wage war against yourself, but that is what the ego attempts – every day!

When you discover your sacred place, the ego’s war is not an option. There are no words in your sacred place, so there is no war of words in there either. It’s a safe haven where you can’t be bullied and you fell no need to strike out at others.

The best news is this sacred feeling follows you back into the scary world and you’re not as frightened as you once were. Each visit leaves you less scared and able to live life without looking over your shoulder.

The more often you visit your sacred place, the less scared you feel.

If you don’t think this sacred place exists, you have been dutifully scared by your ego. Just one sip from the sacred well will keep you coming back for more.

How do you find your sacred place? The first step is to know it’s there. Then, as if by magic, your personal pathway becomes clear, to the sacred place of no fear.

I wonder how soon you’ll take the time to rearrange “Scared” into “Sacred.”

All the best,

John

PS If you haven’t done so already, I request that you listen to the interview I was part of on www.MotivationalMindsRadio.com

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

New learning takes time to integrate. Sometimes it’s a short interval and other times it takes longer. You can affect the integration process by doing something between learning opportunities that’s easy and effective. I call it “Cerebral Sorbet.” More on this technique in a bit.

There is a practice in fine dining which has you cleanse your palate before going on to the next course. You take a taste of sherbet or sorbet to freshen your taste buds for the new course so you can take full advantage of the new taste without mixing it with the taste of the course before.

We move from one task to another in our busy lives that leaves no time for integration. We seem to be doing a lot but getting little accomplished. Enter “Cerebral Sorbet.”

Let’s pretend that you are cleaning the house. The living room, kitchen and bathroom are on your agenda. After cleaning each room, take a mini pause and allow that experience to register fully before moving on to the next room. If you are going from meeting to meeting at work, take a moment between meetings to let the experience integrate.

This pause can be applied between the activities of any to-do list and you will find that you will get more done with better results.

If you just had a heated debate with someone and are now going to interview a candidate for a new position, take a pause and cleanse your mental palate. You don’t want to take the energy of the previous encounter into the new situation. Reminds me of something I made up . . .

The 4 signs of Immaturity:

Polarity response – They say “Black” and you say “White.”

Failure to take responsibility – It’s never your fault.

Failure to apologize – You don’t think you need to.

Being upset with everyone – tarring everyone with your upset.

It’s the last one that pertains to cleansing your mental palate. If you find that you are upset, there is no value in spraying a new encounter with the leftover venom you are carrying around. It taints the communication and little gets accomplished.

This is not a recommendation to “stuff it down.” That just assures that it will pop up at the most inappropriate time. This is the time to recalibrate and move on.

Here’s one way that’s quite effective. I learned this exercise from Dr. Dave Dobson and have used it as “Cerebral Sorbet” quite often.

When you complete something or want to let go of something, do this:

1. Take a nice, comfortable breath and then just sigh it out – In through your nose and out through your mouth with a bit of a sigh on the release.
2. Wonder what you could be doing next that would be most appropriate for the upcoming situation.
3. Roll your eyes in a circle – s-l-o-w-l-y.

I could make an attempt to explain why this is so effective but the magic is in the doing, not the explanation.

I highly recommend that you put this exercise in your bag of tricks. It helps integrate and diffuse experiences so you don’t have to carry your past into the future.

I wonder if you’ll discover the magic of “Cerebral Sorbet” today.

All the best,

John

PS I have done an interview with Justin Sachs of Motivational Minds Radio. I believe you will enjoy it. You can hear that interview by going to www.MotivationalMindsRadio.com

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

There is one deterrent that keeps us from reaching the top of the totem pole – splinters. My personal and professional experience is that we are looking for an elevator ride to the top – a splinterless shimmy, if you will. It’s the one piece of fantasy that makes lazy, lazier.

This is not to say there isn’t an easier way, there usually is but we don’t find it because we spend the bulk of our time looking for ways to get around the necessary work. We divert ourselves with the grandeur of magic that keeps us focused on the hocus pocus rather than what’s behind the curtain.

I’ve told the story before about the head of our computer department taking 20 minutes to tell me why he didn’t have time to complete a 10 minute job. Fear of splinters.

Spending all your time avoiding splinters may keep you sticker free but you’ll continue looking at the top of the pole from the bottom. It makes your neck ache with more pain than any splinter will contain.

I’m not suggesting you become a glutton for pain. That’s someone who’s filled with guilt and looking for forgiveness in an area where it can’t be found. My nudge is to have you recognize the pattern that has you focused on splinters rather than on what you want.

There is a martial arts philosophy that if you get to choose the weapon for the battle with your opponent, you will choose the weapon that scares you the most. The savvy martial artist will allow his opponent to choose the weapon and use their fear to his advantage.

We focus on the fear rather than what we want which always leaves us with a continually pregnant to-do list.

I’m all for making life easier but for many that quest is a diversionary way of life.

A wish list will remain a wish until we recognize the fear than stands in the way of success. Fear is a pattern of thinking that produces some pretty scary feelings in our body. I’m wondering if you’ve ever taken the time to feel fear fully. Have you ever invited it in for a pow-wow? We rarely stare fear in the face and find out what’s on its mind. We keep it in the shadows where we can’t get a clear glimpse. That practice keeps our imagined image of fear scarier than fear itself.

Splinters are fears. We want to go through life without encountering either. We dwell on life being splinter free and fair, and as The Grasshopper reminds us, “Fair is a fairy tale.”

This myopic focus keeps more splinters than necessary coming our way.

How many ways can I divert myself? Let me count the ways. Rather than counting, notice. Notice when you divert your attention away from fear. Just by noticing, you begin to keep your eyes open more often, only to find that the scary parts of life’s movie aren’t so scary. This gets your focus on your goal and off the pitfalls.

If you’re afraid of heights, your downfall is looking down. Stay focused on the step you are on and the next step up will present itself at the opportune time.

Not noticing our diversions keeps us looking down and in lock step with unexamined fear.

Doing diffuses fear. The key to doing is to notice the diversions. Once you recognize their many costumes, they can’t fool you anymore. You recognize them for what they are – splinter producing side roads.

There isn’t a splinter free path. Fear preys upon that reality and exaggerates the odds keeping us from starting our climb. Noticing diversions and allowing yourself to face and feel your fears will keep self induced splinters to a minimum.

Which of these questions will get you into action quicker?

“How do I get to the next step?” OR “Who’s got the tweezers?”

If it’s the second one, your life won’t have many fun banister rides.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

How little we celebrate. How shortsighted!

It occurs to me that celebration is a lot like gratitude. We can always find a reason to engage in either.

But it’s not necessary to have a reason. Here’s a wild suggestion: Just go out on a limb today and celebrate for no good reason. The trick is to remember to do it again tomorrow as well.

You can tie the two mindsets together. Think of something you are grateful for, then celebrate it. It’s sort of like the Steve Martin comment that you can’t be sad while playing the banjo. It’s difficult to hang on to heavy thoughts when you are celebrating and grateful.

Sadness has its place, but not at the head of the table.

How easy is it to find something right now that you are grateful for? It’s that easy, every time you remember to remember. Celebration is the natural extension of gratitude. They’re symbiotic.

I have lots to be grateful for and so do you. So let’s celebrate!

All the best,

John

I used to follow a local band during my dancin’, prancin’ and romancin’ years called the Kit Kats. They were an excellent Philadelphia cover band that made a minor splash on the national charts. What I really liked about them was their song versatility.

I remember when they were the entertainment at Christmas time at a club in South Philadelphia and did their version of “My Favorite Things” and the people loved it.

It got me to thinking about favorites.

Facebook is loaded with favorites – favorite movies, favorite athletes, favorite songs, favorite everything. I thought I would list a few of my favorite things and see if you can relate.

CHARACTER – I wrote a blog post on this topic over a year ago that you may enjoy. Character to me is something you cannot buy. It’s something that you develop, or more to the point, release from inside of you. To me it’s the one underlying thing that all people have access to but it remains a rarity in our culture. Possibly that’s why it’s so precious to me because it’s in such short supply. I flock like a moth to a light bulb when I witness character.

PASSION – This is like an addictive drug for me. When I witness passion in someone, it lights a fire within me that’s hard to describe. Passionate people are my idols. When I see them get absorbed in whatever they are passionate about, I recognize their connection to the one creative force we all have access to. It gets one to wonder: What am I passionate about?

BIRTHDAYS – Everyone’s got one but I’m not sure many have a full appreciation for them. To me, a birthday is a day to celebrate the uniqueness that you’ve developed over the years, and to celebrate your unique contribution to life. Everyone is good at something. What is your special gift? Make sure to celebrate it often, and especially on your birthday, because no one else has it to offer but you.

GOOFY DOGS – I will stop and pet a strange dog if it’s goofy. Goofy to me is a tail wagging, not a care in the world creature that gives you its full attention for just a little bit of fussing – a friendly tone of voice, a pat on the head or a scratch on a belly. We can learn a lot from dogs. Reminds me of the cruise ship comedian’s joke about loyalty . . .

If you want to know who’s more loyal, put your spouse and your dog in the trunk of a car for half an hour. Then open the trunk and find out who’s glad to see you.

GOT YOUR BACK – This one is hard to define but immediately recognizable when you experience it. The best example I can offer is a mother hen. There is nothing going to happen to her offspring while she has the ability to cluck. When you have the feeling that someone’s got your back, it is one of the most freeing feelings a human being can experience. If you’re in a relationship, this is the one commodity that will keep you bonded when things become unglued. If you find someone who’s got your back, return the favor and you’ll continue to savor this magic elixir.

KEEPING PROMISES – Werner Erhard, the man who pioneered est, made one of my favorite observances when he said, “The reason life doesn’t work is because people don’t keep their agreements.” It’s hard to find a counter-example to his pronouncement. Just look how life situations break down when you don’t do what you say you will do. It ranges from your agreements with a contractor, your employer, your spouse, your constituents – everyone. Adopt this practice and watch your life work more smoothly. If you tell someone you’re going to do something, make sure that only an act of God or a faulty memory will keep it from happening. I can imagine the late attorney, Johnnie Cochran saying, “Don’t commit until it’s legit.”

I have many others, one of which I wrote about yesterday – CONSISTENCY.

Thank you for allowing me to offer some of my favorite things to you. I trust you have your own favorites. It just may prove valuable to write them down because I believe it will provide you with more insight about what you hold dear.

All the best,

John

Even the most consistent people have inconsistencies. It goes along with being human.

I watched the most consistent golfer, Tiger Woods be inconsistent this past 5 days. There are a number of excuses people have offered for his anomaly, but none that he’ll use. “I just didn’t get it done” will be his mantra until he rediscovers his consistency.

I worship consistency.

I’m not recommending that you join my church because there’s a lot of disappointment involved. The God of consistency doesn’t always show up. Actually, he does, but doesn’t always bring the brand of consistency I’m looking for.

The version I can’t get my arms around is consistent inconsistence.

I prefer it to be spring when it’s springtime. I understand the occasional unpredictable snowstorm in mid April, but by and large, I’m expecting to see flowers bloom, grass grow and some idiot teenager speed loudly down the street. That’s consistent.

I guess what I’m really looking for is something I can count on in a world that’s poor in math. It’s a warm fuzzy for me.

Here’s the rub. If you’re poor in math and it’s a necessary skill to get what you want, you have to do whatever is necessary to learn math. Most people won’t make the effort and will blame something else. Here’s the unspoken truth: It’s not worth it to them.

Find an area of your life where you’re inconsistent. You may give tons of lip service to consistency being important to you in this area, but it’s not if you remain inconsistent.

You’re at a crossroads when you discover you’re not willing to make the effort.

I call it the “End of Pretend.”

It’s time to move off your illusory position and tell the truth.

It’s time to look for something else worthy enough of your efforts; otherwise you’ll consistently spin lies and your wheels and stay stuck in the mud.

The truth is: “The truth will set you free.” It opens the door to an area where you can be consistent.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

While out walking Snuffy the black nosed beagle this morning, I heard the sound of a woodpecker going through his morning routine, same as me. It got me to wondering.

Does the woodpecker notice what he does or is it simply a matter of that’s what they do? The answer I got was, “That’s what they do.” They don’t notice.

That makes them much like us – a species that goes around doing what they do, without a lot of noticing.

Automatic pilot is very helpful when doing certain tasks like tying your shoes but doesn’t fill the bill in many other areas of our life.

We seem to walk from one trance to another throughout the day and rarely take the time to observe what we do. This creates a robotic feel to life that we attempt to remedy with a pill or potion or some activity to get our mind off doing what we do.

I’m recommending the opposite.

After musing about the woodpecker, the letters N.B. popped into my mind. I remembered from my elementary school days that it’s an abbreviation that means “take notice.”

It is absolutely freeing to take notice of what you are doing. Rather than writing on Facebook that it’s “hump day” with only two more days after today until the weekend, notice what you are doing. Your current escapism practice insures that this moment is going to suck. Notice that you are sacrificing this moment to get to the next.

That’s what we do. We string together a bunch of unnoticed moments and call it life – a life we’re attempting to escape from.

When you begin to take notice of your waking trance, you create a space for something brand new to pop in. It’s the novelty you’ve been craving. It makes life alive again.

Imagine a 4 year old in a sandbox having this conversation in their head. “God, I was in this same stupid sand box yesterday. Can’t they find a more exciting place to take me? It’s the same thing everyday – shovel, bucket, building stupid sand castles, and I’ve had it with this fresh air and sunshine routine. I’ve just got to find a bigger sandbox with a canopy.”

The 4 year old notices what they’re doing in the moment and it brings them joy.

We can learn a lot from 4 year olds and woodpeckers by simply noticing.

The woodpecker snapped me out of my trance this morning. By becoming present and curious about the sound he was making, it also made me notice the environment I was in. I could now consciously smell the spring air, see the daffodils in bloom, feel the spring in my step, and hear the early morning sounds that surrounded me, rather than the blather that was going on in my head. Thank you woodpecker for making me notice.

It’s this simple: When you’re in your head, you’re dead – you’re dead to the life that’s always present.

The remedy? You just have to “take notice.”

And as we say in Rhode Island, “Happy Eastuh!”

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

If you’ve ever seen a movie made, you will notice that shots are filmed out of sequence. There are a variety of reasons it’s done this way – weather, season, actor availability, location, etc. For example if sunny weather is needed for a beach scene and it’s raining, they will film indoors that day making use of the time.

The final edit of the movie is assembled in sequence so that there is a storyline that’s easy to follow.

The movie of our life seems to be shot in sequence. One thing seems to follow another but just maybe, it was edited to look sequential.

Maybe there is no sequence at all. Perhaps it all happens all at once but our logic machine makes it appear as though it moves from left to right along one plane.

I was talking with my friend, Hali about parallel universes the other day. There is a book we both read many years ago called “Seth Speaks.” It suggests we lead simultaneous lives in parallel universes. For example, you may have been engaged to be married to someone and broke it off and married someone else. In Seth’s parallel universe, you went on to marry that first person and had whatever life you had together while also being married to someone else in this universe with a totally separate life.

The parallel “you” may have taken many job offers in other parts of the country while the “you” you’re aware of, stayed home in this universe and spent 45 years working for a local company.

If nothing else, it’s fun to think about. But what if it’s true or we pretend it to be true? What if every time we came to a crossroads in life we went in all directions? How could we use it to our best advantage here and now?

Let’s pretend that you are stuck in a certain unpleasant situation. You’ve looked for all the remedies to remove the glue, but you’re still stuck. What to do?

Consult your Parallel Pals.

Who knows you any better than you? One of your parallel pals, that’s who!

If you are living many lives at once, it’s a pretty sure bet that an alternate you has amassed a truckload of experience that you don’t own. It’s time to cash in on their experience.

Here is an exercise you can play with. Call a meeting of all your parallel pals – parts of you that went on to do other things and live other lives. Gather in a room where you present your current dilemma. Ask each of your pals for a solution to your problem. Envision one of them writing down all the brainstormed ideas that are offered. Ask questions and listen to all the answers without judgement. Then, when the meeting is over, just let the offered ideas settle.

Something will pop as a result of this meeting. It may be an hour or two days later, but something will emerge that makes sense to take action on.

The good news is you don’t have to let anyone know you’re crazy. You can privately hold these meetings anytime you want to and no one has to know how you’re beginning to move through life more fluidly, unless you tell them.

Remember the reality of brainstorming: It’s usually the crazy idea that spurs you on to the creative solution.

Here’s my suggestion: Set your beliefs aside for a moment and entertain the crazy notion of parallel pals. It may just open the door to a whole new world.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com