Did you ever notice that you are oftentimes in “one of your moods?” We all are.

Sad, happy, euphoric, pissed off, or otherwise, we are forever and a day subject to a mood.

Moods, if you’ll excuse the expression, most often, come from out of the blue. All of a sudden it’s on our doorstep without warning.

Our mood can remain in place for minutes, hours, days or decades if we don’t act.

We get a clue every time we notice we’re in a mood as to how to extricate ourselves from it.

That key is the noticing itself.

Who’s noticing that you’re in a mood? Answer: The part of you that notices.

This part of you that does the noticing of your behavior is your savior.

Noticing is the wedge that separates you from your mood. Notice that you’re not in the mood when you’re noticing it. It’s a moment of respite – a break in the action if you will.

Noticing is your ticket to freedom.

Let’s pretend that you discover that you’re in one of your frazzled frames of mind. It’s what you do next that determines how long your mood will last.

Most folks go looking for the reason they’re in a mood. That never works. 99.9% of the time we are looking for someone or something to blame for our mental unrest. That just insures that our mood hangs around longer.

What if you just noticed that you were in a mood without all the attendant recrimination? Instead of saying, “Damn, I’m in a lousy mood and it’s because of this that or the other thing,” what would happen if you just noticed?

What if you just unemotionally said, “I’m noticing I’m in an un-resourceful frame of mind”? Did you notice there was a period at the end of the last sentence? Stop the conversation after noticing.

Once you notice, you now have an opportunity to move out of the mood. Here’s how: Notice where the feeling registers in your body and stay with that feeling. Keep your attention on the physical sensation of the mood without any conversation of “why” you’re in a mood.

The more you keep your attention focused on the physical sensation that accompanies the mood, the quicker the mood will dissipate. I call it the metabolization of moods.

Justifying your mood is an invitation for a long visit with a boring relative, or worse. The more you talk about it the worse it gets. You’re at the mercy of your mood’s timetable if you don’t notice and feel. The more people you tell about your mood, the more you reinforce it. You may not have noticed, until now, that “mood” rhymes with “brood.”

Teach yourself how to notice and feel. It’s a skill worth cultivating. It’s a one-way ticket out of town for your ‘tude of a mood.

All the best,

John

I remember that we were instructed in grammar school to STOP, LOOK & LISTEN when approaching railroad tracks. It could be a mantra for life.

STOP is an interruption of what we are doing. Since most of what we do is automated, patterned behavior, it’s beneficial to stop every once in a while and enjoy an intermission. STOP brings you back to the moment.

LOOK is observing what’s actually going on. There is a lot of thinking about what’s going on, but very little looking. How often have you asked yourself, “Why do I always do that?” Rather than ask why, look at the behavior that generates what you do. The behavior, itself, is the offending party, yet we get caught up in the thoughts about behavior, many times in an effort to defend it. LOOK at what you are doing.

LISTEN for something new. You can cite chapter and verse how your patterned thinking is going to react. LISTEN for another answer – one that’s not so well rehearsed, ingrained or top of mind. When you LISTEN in this way, new ideas come out to play.

The most important one didn’t make it into the mantra – FEEL.

We are feeling beings first and foremost. Remember: Feelings were present long before we learned the labels for them.

FEEL is a rusted barometer for most of us. It’s been unused for so long, that we forgot we had such a powerful tool. Get out the WD-40 and make it operational again.

You will FEEL an answer well before it forms pictures in your mind or words in your head. FEEL is the first responder. Pay attention to your body, It will run circles around your intellect when it comes to true knowing.

There’s no rule that says you can’t begin your New Year’s resolution NOW. May I recommend FEEL, STOP, LOOK & LISTEN.

All the best,

John

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I was at the post office yesterday with millions of my neighbors.

It was busier than an “All you can eat” buffet after THE BIGGEST LOSER finale.

When I was about 3^rd in line, John, the postal worker yelled over to me and said, “Can you hypnotize me to think I’m on the island of Tortola?” I asked, “Is that so that you don’t have to be here?” He laughed.

Then The Grasshopper appeared out of nowhere and said, “You can only get there by being here.”

John paused and said, “That is so true.”

The reality is you have to go through here to get to wherever there is. How many moments do we miss getting there?

When we live our lives like that, the “there” experience is anti-climactic. That’s because when we get there, we are so in the habit of being elsewhere that we miss that coveted experience too.

It’s the holidays. Getting to the official date is not the mission, just like the mission in dancing is not to get to the end of the song.

Take in all the moment has to offer and watch your holidays get brighter.

Getting there is a mission; being here is mission accomplished.

Sing along with the Christmas songs on the radio; let someone in traffic; put money in Salvation Army kettle. Slow down and savor the moment. It’s the only one that’s guaranteed.

Whoever said “You can’t get there from here” was sadly mistaken. It’s the ONLY route.

All the best,

John

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Imagine a sponge and its finite capacity for absorption. Now imagine that sponge is entirely filled with you. That’s self absorption.

There is no room in your sponge for anyone else. Using the Seinfeld reference, you are the only one who is “Sponge worthy.”

It’s easy to see it in others. Look no further than the current news and the Tiger Woods saga – self absorbed.

Self absorbed is different than self interest.

Mother Teresa had self interest but she wasn’t self absorbed. She got something out of the wonderful deeds she did. That’s self interest. It’s not a negative concept.

Self absorption is a wounding piece of behavior – for both the owner and those who enter their path.

When you are the only one who exists, you are blinded to the needs of others, even those who are close to you. This causes you to soak up all there is for you, and others, if they are lucky, get dripped on.

When my needs are perpetually paramount and supersede all others, I’m self absorbed.

I hurt myself by alienating those around me causing them to eventually just go away. I’m left alone to sponge bath myself.

I hurt others by continually communicating that their needs are not as important as mine.

What will it take to get you to recognize this behavior? For many, it’s death’s doorstep.

Self absorption leaves clues. Simply look at the number of people who mysteriously disappear from your life.

I believe we all go through a period of self absorption. How long we stay there is truly up to us.

When you discover that others aren’t a satellite to your sun, it causes you to squeeze your self absorbed sponge. This makes room to soak up the needs of others which makes us more complete.

If your sponge is filled to capacity, this will make no sense to you.

If, however, it sparked some curiosity, it’s close enough to that time of year to wring out the old and soak in the new.

All the best,

John

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Are you just doing or accomplishing?

The difference is focus.

It seems when we are unfocused, we are just doing.

Focus follows purpose.

It seems if we have a purpose, we can more easily marshal the resources necessary to focus and accomplish something. If we’re just doing, we manufacture defective “O” rings.

I believe there is value to set aside time for idle doing. Play solitaire on the computer, surf the net for amusement or rinse the good china just for fun.

The confusion for most is they confuse activity with accomplishment. They are birds with different feathers.

Most people labeled as “Lazy” are just unfocused. Reminds me of a story . . .

Years ago a fellow that worked for me was making preventable mistakes during his broadcast. I called his attention to them. He said, “My doctor says I suffer from ADD.” (Attention Deficit Disorder). I then asked if he had any trouble making love with his girlfriend. He said, “No, things are great in that department.” I then let him know that ADD isn’t selective and that he needed to bring the same focus he used in the bedroom to his broadcast. His focus quickly returned.

I am a big proponent of the notion that structure fosters creativity. Back to broadcasting . . .

If you allow a broadcaster carte blanche with the amount of time they can talk, they will fill it up with tripe. If you give them timed windows of opportunity, the talk becomes more purposeful and focused.

This leads me to the number one structural aid for the idle doer – a list.

Become like Santa. Make a list and check it twice.

Two things will happen:

1. You’ll have a purpose.
2. Idle doing becomes a planned activity.

If you are noticing a lack of accomplishment in your life, take a close look at what you’re doing. My suspicion is that you become a scatterbrain when you lack structure.

Suggestion: Make a list!

All the best,

John Morgan

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The only argument against intuition seems to come from those who block it – which includes all of us.

The highest decibel arguments seem to come from the Über educated, “If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist” crowd. Although, I haven’t heard them deny the wind yet.

The blockage of intuition comes from thinking about it.

Intuition is first and foremost a feeling, and we humans are experts in blocking feelings we don’t like or don’t understand.

Intuition, as Scotch drinkers will say, is an acquired taste. If we want to be even more precise, intuition is a reacquired taste.

We’re born with it but it quickly gets crowded out when our intellect develops and gets filled with our care givers’ conditioned programming.

Our education system, both formal and informal puts its sole focus on developing our intellect. There are no classes at home or school called: “Pay attention to your feelings.”

We all get signals all the time that we blindly walk past. How many times have you paid the price by letting your intellect override your gut? For most of us it’s an everyday occurrence.

Intuition, like opportunity, is always knocking. We’re just not answering the door.

The key to finding your intuition is to pay attention. We get backstage signals all the time but ignore them as meaningless.

The next time you get an “odd” feeling, give it your full attention. This is a calibration process. Get in the habit of stopping and noticing the feelings your body is putting out. The more attention you give to them, the more calibrated you become.

Don’t be too surprised if you start hearing the word “Psychic” from time to time. Paying attention to your feelings delivers more of that abundant natural resource called “Intuition.”

The proof is in the doing, not the thinking.

A way to jumpstart this process is to stop giving pre-fab answers all the time. Take a moment to consider the question and allow yourself the freedom to let an unformed answer surface, rather than use the rote one you’ve given a thousand times.

Intuition is easy to talk about but needs kinesthetic recognition to become calibrated. Finding your intuition requires paying attention to your feelings on a consistent basis. Once you get in the habit of doing this, you become a conduit for intuition.

Turning your attention to your feelings is called “Insight.”

All the best,

John

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A fair is something you go to that has amusement rides, pie baking contests, wares for sale, livestock to look at, fun side shows and tons of food. It’s also a territory where a baseball lands.

Outside of those two areas, fair doesn’t exist. It’s like The Grasshopper told us moons ago, “Fair is a Fairy Tale.”

We keep injecting “Fair” into conversations where it doesn’t belong and it never serves us.

Fair is a judgement and, like all judgements, it follows a reality that just happened. Something happens and then we judge it as fair or not.

Fair keeps the conversation away from where it needs to go. It keeps us focused on an ideological concept and blind to the reality.

What would happen if someone did something to you that you considered not fair? You could state your position about fairness and then argue about something that doesn’t exist – except in your mind. Your version of fair pitted against their version of fair. It’s a life-long wrestling match.

What would happen if you just told someone how you felt without labeling their behavior as “Fair”?

You would then deal with a real stimulus/response situation and talk about something you could genuinely validate – your feelings.

See how each of these statements feels in your body.

“You just did X and that’s not fair.”

When you do X, I feel unappreciated and don’t think you care.”

When you identify your feelings, you are discussing something real that exists. When you bring up fair, you just argue about definitions.

I’m not going to win the battle to get “Fair” excised from the dictionary, nor would I waste time trying. My objective is to get you curious about the concept of “Fair” and how it may be standing in the way of a resolution.

Life is filled with conflicts. Any time spent evaluating how “Fair” they are is time spent delaying a solution.

Let the arguments about fair remain with the debating teams and umpires. When the discussion is more about something you can validate, your odds of getting a resolution increase exponentially.

That only leaves us with one question: “If a baseball hits a duck in center field, is that a fowl ball?”

All the best,

John

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The catalyst for calming mental noise is discovering what moment you are in.

My late mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson accurately described most mental angst as belonging to another time. He referred to it as “There and Then.”

When you are consumed with internal flux, chances are the moment you are in has nothing to do with your agitated condition. You are referencing another time.

Just this simple recognition is enough to bring you back to the current moment where none of that torment is present. Reminds me of a story . . .

Many years ago I was traveling on Interstate 95 and was cut off by another driver putting me in precarious circumstances. Adrenaline rushed to my assistance, and a part of me that responded quicker than my intellect, maneuvered me to safety. Phew!

If you’ve ever been in a situation like that, you know that’s not the end of it. The adrenaline stays in your body causing you to feel “wired.” This normally leads to a conversation about all the negative things that could have happened if things didn’t turn out as advantageous as they did. You remain agitated and stuck in a moment that no longer exists.

Lucky for me that I remembered Dr. Dave’s prescription: Take a deep breath and exhale with a sigh. I did just that – about 4 or 5 times. The result was that the adrenaline dissipated and I returned to a much calmer state – one not prone to stay locked in a moment that no longer existed.

As long as the chemical stays in place, your body remains on high alert, which, if prolonged, keeps your tension high and your internal dialogue on full throttle – all because you’re in another moment.

The deep breath and a sigh are your transfer back to the present.

Here are two simple steps to bring you back to the present:

1. Notice that you are referencing “There and Then.”
2. Take a deep breath and sigh it out. (repeat as necessary)

I highly recommend that you use this amazing two-step process. It’s something you can do anytime, anywhere. Practice it in low risk situations (minor annoyances) and you’ll be in the habit of doing it when bigger fish are on the line.

Consider this an early holiday gift from me to you. I cannot tell you how many times it will save you from moments that no longer exist.

All the best,

John

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When you pit reality against destiny, it’s a mismatch.

Reality ALWAYS wins.

It’s amazing to me how we try and squeeze reality into our model of destiny. It’s the typical case of attempting to arrange the facts so they support our belief.

There is no arranging reality.

Destiny has an air of resignation about it. “It was meant to be this way.” Truth is, the only meaning it contains is the one you consciously added to it. That would be like saying, “The wind meant to blow off my roof.” The wind doesn’t care. It just is.

No one has a fate for you all lined up and ready to go. When you believe that, you can make an excuse for anything, my favorites of which are: “The Devil made me do it” and “It was God’s plan.”

I can think of no more limiting concept than destiny. It’s something we made up. Notice that reality contains the word “Real.”

Destiny keeps you contained in a self made box. Reality has no limitations.

The only destiny that exists is contained in your patterns of belief. Change your belief and you change your destiny. That’s the reality of destiny.

“I was meant to be poor” is a destiny myth. The reality is, “You were patterned to be poor.”

Your patterns can be your destiny if you let them. The key to a self made destiny is to notice your patterns. So many of them run on automatic pilot that we fail to notice the stimulus/response contained in each one of them.

Noticing that you have patterns is noticing reality. When we begin to notice reality, we begin to see the building blocks of the pattern we have labeled as “Destiny.”

You can create your own destiny; you just have to notice that you have the ability to do so. The process begins by noticing the reality of stimulus/response. When you recognize a stimulus and interrupt your patterned response to it and choose another, you have chosen a new destiny.

Unlike the current model of being resigned to your destiny, the new model of manifesting your own destiny takes some action on your part.

The action is to notice that your “Destiny” was created by your conditioned thoughts and behaviors. When you make the effort to interrupt them and choose others, you will discover the reality of your destiny.

All the best,

John

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If the tallest person feels the raindrop first, who’s the first person to tell when your life isn’t working? It often isn’t you.

We get so caught up in the events of our lives that we neglect to reflect. It’s usually someone else who holds a mirror to our face. The difficulty then becomes that we deny it’s us in the mirror, and the person who held it up becomes the enemy.

Just like most people don’t recognize their own voice when they first hear a recording of it, we don’t see the obstacles we put in our own way.

We falsely conclude our nemesis is circumstance. It rarely is.

My friend Hali recently went to a Carolyn Myss workshop and Ms. Myss said something like this: “To tell the truth, you have to be willing to be hated.”

That’s a risk most people won’t take, and when they do, they feel the rage of revulsion.

Parents are keen in spotting the foibles of their children. There’s good reason. They got to watch them develop, they have an interest in their well-being and, through experience, have cataloged their patterned way of doing things. Just notice how oppositional you are to what your parents say about you. Talk to a therapist and ask them how many patients have issues with Mom or Dad.

Mom or Dad often knows more about you than you’re willing to admit – thus the friction.

It also works in reverse. What parent wants to hear the truth from their child? Often the child remains a child in the parents mind, not matter what their age and just aren’t capable, or entitled, to tell the parent the truth. More denial and more repulsion ensue.

It’s hard to hear the truth. It’s so hard for some that they deny it exists.

What truths are you denying and who are you holding accountable for telling these dastardly lies about you? It’s time to let the other person off the hook and take a long hard look – at yourself.

Since it’s so hard to do, begin with a fantasy. Pretend for a moment that what you’ve heard from another countless times is true. After you get over the shock that you aren’t as pretty as you thought, ask yourself, “How am I going to address this?”

Hint: It’s not a fantasy.

It takes courage to hold up a mirror and even more courage to look directly into it. The Grasshopper said it best – “The mirror has no agenda.”

You owe a debt of gratitude to those brave enough to endure your wrath and show you you. Their love is rarely recognized and your acknowledgement is long overdue.

All the best,

John

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