Grasshopper Notes Blog

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July 24, 2012

Pebble Kicker

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:10 am

Pebble Kicker 2 I was cleaning out a closet and found the picture you see in this post. I had someone draw it for my late teacher, Dr. Dave Dobson back in the 90s.

“Pebble Kicker” is how he responded when someone asked him what he did. He didn’t say he was a psychologist, a hypnotherapist or a candlestick maker. he said, “Pebble Kicker.”

It was his way of describing how he got you moving in the direction you wanted to go. He explained that when you kick a pebble down a hill, it unearths other pebbles that come along for the ride. One little pebble can create a whole host of pebbles – options.

He could have easily told you what to do but that would have been impoverishing in at least two ways:

1. Others have already told you a way to go and you ignored their advice, so why would his way have any different result?

2. It would only provide one answer.

Dave knew you had a quarry of answers but often settled for only one unmovable rock.

By kicking a pebble, he knew you could come up with more options than either one of you knew you had.

Think of a pebble not as a thought starter, but as a seed planted at a deeper level than thought, that produces a giant harvest. The objective is not to stop and think because the operative words in that directive are “Stop” and “Think” – both of which have no movement attached to them.

A kicked pebble results in an avalanche of action.

If you’re even the slightest bit curious about pebble kicking, don’t be too surprised after reading this if a pebble parade starts happening within you. I could tell you what to do, but what fun is it knowing my answer when you can produce an endless supply of your own.

I now have a new appreciation for the old maxim, “A rolling stone gathers no moss.”

I wonder what will begin rolling within you now.

All the best,

John

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July 20, 2012

A Great Friend

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Morgan @ 6:56 am

C167978 m It seems to me that hardly anyone would argue with this characterization of a good friend: One who continues to listen to your story when everyone else is tired of hearing it.

The Grasshopper gave me this definition of a great friend: One who won’t let you stay stuck in your story.

Reminds me of a story . . . There are a number of actors who have received fame by being typecast. That means they are so associated with one role that they are hardly ever considered for others. Think of Michael Richards who played “Kramer” on “Seinfeld.” That’s a show-biz example of the results of staying stuck in your story.

We’re not as famous as Michael Richards but our stories do keep us just as stuck. We’ve told them so often that we’ve become typecast. Who can help us break the mold? Only a great friend.

People don’t gravitate to great friends; they look to walk the path of least resistance and move in the direction of good friends who will listen once again.

In my opinion, the “Oprah” show was hugely successful for 25 years by being a good friend. It kept highlighting the same problems over and over again and rarely offered a solution. It acted as a comfort zone to let you know you weren’t alone. I think that is a valuable service but not a great model for getting you unstuck.

A great friend will listen to your story too, but won’t let you stay there. They will present options to move you forward and challenge you when you dig in your heels to stay stuck. They will pry you out of your comfort zone and lead you across bumpy roads, with only your success in mind.

Great friends aren’t as plentiful as good ones, and frankly, not as well liked. If your only goal is to have someone like you, listen to their story again and again and you will be a good friend. But if you truly care, take this dare: Become a great friend and help someone you care about risk leaving their comfort zone.

All the best,

John

VIRTUAL MASSAGE

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July 18, 2012

Fast Glass

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:41 am

IMG 8540 Edit There is an axiom in photography that goes something like this: The more open the lens, the less that’s in focus. Lenses that have the ability to open very wide are known as “fast glass.”

Camera lens design is based on the human eye. The more the pupil is open, the less that will be in focus. If you’ve ever gone to the eye doctor and had drops put in your eyes to dilate your pupils, you can relate to this photography principle.

Sometimes we attempt to focus on everything at once, in photography and in life. That means that everything has equal importance and, frankly, that’s a lot to focus on.

“Fast glass” gives us the ability to put what’s important in razor sharp focus and have all other distractions be out of focus.

What is the human equivalent to “fast glass?” Attention.

Attention gives us the ability to zero in on what’s important and have everything else fall out of focus.

What’s important to you? Does it have your focused attention or are you focusing on everything at once?

“Scattered” is how I describe the feeling I get when I’m focusing on everything at once. When I get that sensation, it’s a signal to me to pay attention to what’s important – so that I can make everything in the background go out of focus and have tack sharp focus on what’s right in front of me.

“Fast glass” is expensive, ask any photographer. Attention is free; you just have to use it to become as focused as you want to be.

All the best,

John

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July 16, 2012

Worth

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:50 am

C281734 m The Grasshopper had me scrambling for a pen when he woke me up in the middle of the night with this: “Question your effort, never your worth.”

Like all his musings from out of the blue, I had to let the message settle before I could attempt any interpretation.

It felt a little like “Actions speak louder than words” but it had another dimension – Worth.

What are you worth? Dollars and financial assets aside, how do you determine your worth?

Is worth what you contribute to something – a relationship, a family, a cause, a partnership, a friendship? Or is it just always present whether you contribute something or not?

I believe it’s the latter. Worth is not dependent on any contribution; it’s just always present waiting to be discovered and used.

When you discover your worth, you will find that you are worth no more or less than anyone else. Worth is distributed equally among us. The question then becomes not, “Am I worthy?” but rather, “How do I put my worth to work?”

That’s where effort comes in. How you are using your worth is something that can be questioned, never the intrinsic quality itself.

You can more easily cast off any feelings of unworthiness once you realize you have it in equal measure to anyone you deem worthy. Then the measuring stick can be more effectively used to calculate something you can measure – Effort.

What effort are you putting behind your worth? Just like you’re entitled to breathe air like everyone else, you are entitled to your worth. You are not entitled to your effort; you have to work for it.

Too often we use the excuse of not being worthy to not pursue something. That illusion begins to disappear when we mount an effort.

You are worthy of anything you desire. The only question left is: Are you willing to make the effort? Because without effort, you’ll feel worthless.

All the best,

John

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July 13, 2012

Pick Up The Phone

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:17 am

C478916 s Today’s blog is actually a rant. I have a love/hate relationship with email and texts.

I love the convenience of getting a message to someone right away and receiving a rapid response; I hate how imprecise and misconstrued those messages can get.

One culprit for miscommunication is punctuation. I’m not a full-blown punctuation snob because I make enough punctuation errors not to be qualified to offer criticism, but critical I am. Call me old school, but lack of punctuation plays a factor in miscommunication in shorter form messages like texts and tweets. The lack of commas and periods leaves the door wide open for head scratching.

“An old dog can’t learn new tricks can he learn some old ones before trying new ones.”

How many ways can you punctuate the above communication and get a different message? Let’s try two different versions.

1. “An old dog can’t learn new tricks, can he? Learn some old ones before trying new ones.”

2. “An old dog can’t learn new tricks. Can he learn some old ones before trying new ones?”

The first one is a question and a directive; the second is an assertion and a question.

The point isn’t punctuation, but expediency. Even if all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed, there is still lots of room for misinterpretation in a written piece of communication. If you need a textbook example, just look at the number of contested wills that were carefully constructed by some highly educated people.

Rather than write a long email response to someone, pick up the phone or have an in person meeting if possible. It will save you the time you spend miscommunicating back and forth in a text.

A tone can be read into keystroked words that isn’t actually there. That may cause feathers to fly when someone was just attempting to be wry.

I love texts and emails; I just hate their limitations.

Here’s my suggestion: If it’s important, pick up the phone.

All the best,

John

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July 11, 2012

Imagination

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:51 am

C206830 s At one point in my life, I was not into reading fiction. I went for decades without reading a story. I read voraciously, but not fiction.

I mostly read books on philosophy, psychology, metaphysics, self-improvement and the like, but not fiction.

Then somewhere in the early 1990s I started to read fiction again. Here’s the story . . .

I went to the beach with my wife. We spread out our blanket, set up our chairs and did the beach thing. Eventually, my wife stretched out on the blanket and began to take a beach nap. Side note: Beach naps are one of my favorite experiences.

As she lay there asleep, I noticed that she had a paperback with her, what my youngest son ’til this day refers to as a “Beach Book.” It was titled THE FIRM by John Grisham.

I picked it up and began to read it. By the end of the first chapter, I was hooked. Safe to say, this was now my book. I poured through the pages at lightning speed wondering where this story went. Time passed in a hurry as I was following the exploits of the lead character chapter after chapter. My imagination was engaged.

This began a chapter in my life where I started to read mostly all the Grisham books that came out, several that were made into movies.

For some unknown reason, I stopped reading fiction again for well over a decade. I went back to reading heady stuff and factual material. But that changed a couple of weeks ago when I picked up a “Beach Book.”

I started to read it and I couldn’t put it down. It was as though I was propping my tired eyelids open with toothpicks to stay awake so I could read the next chapter.

This story really doesn’t have an end, only a beginning. The beginning is engaging our imagination. For me, it took fiction to do it; for you it may be something different. The point I’m making is that if you’re anything like me, you leave your imagination dormant for too long a period of time. This causes a staleness and a sameness to how we approach life. Imagination opens the door to a fresh breath of air.

Author, Wayne Dyer offers us this piece of wisdom: “Imagination is the force of creation.”

If your imagination has been in hibernation, I request that you wake it up and see where the two of you go.

All the best,

John

VIRTUAL MASSAGE

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July 6, 2012

Both Sides Now

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 4:34 am

C331586 s I’ve become wiser about both halves of life since I now have requisite experience in the second half.

Here’s what I’ve discovered.

The first half, as I’ve mentioned before, is a gathering phase. I call it addition. The second half is a letting go phase. I call it subtraction.

One of the things we add along the way is knowledge. I’m not suggesting that we let go of our knowledge, just not add so much importance to it.

The benefit of subtraction happens when we discover that we are most useful when we are a conduit for wisdom vs. a container of knowledge.

All the fact and figures don’t add up when we cram our minds with them and leave no room for wisdom to assemble them.

Wisdom is letting go of what you know and letting an answer come through you rather than from you.

If your goal is to be the smartest person in the room, it’s a good bet that you left wisdom at the door.

Wisdom doesn’t want to one-up anyone. It just wants to be there for the moment that it’s needed. You crowd out your wisdom when you lean on your facts.

Wisdom allows for flexibility; facts are like iron girders.

You don’t have to wait until the second half of life to cede more often to wisdom than to facts. Anyone young or old can tap their wisdom just by letting go of having to know.

Gather all the knowledge you can. It’s fulfilling and fun. Just don’t fool yourself into thinking that the more you have, the wiser you are. It’s just not the case; it never has been.

How do I know? To quote singer, Judy Collins, “I’ve looked at life from both sides now.”

All the best,

John

VIRTUAL MASSAGE

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July 5, 2012

Empty Fireworks

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:34 am

C507143 s I already know that when I take Snuffy, the Black Nosed Beagle for a walk this morning that I will see the streets strewn with empty fireworks containers used to celebrate the 4th of July.

As I may have mentioned before, I’m not a big fan of fireworks, especially in the hands of untrained people. But this isn’t a rant about fireworks; it’s an observation about us.

Superficiality is the equivalent of human fireworks. I wonder how many people woke up empty this morning after their spectacular display yesterday?

Yesterday, they again chased superficial in search of the big bang they are looking for and, as usual, only got a few ceremonial pops. You would think the empty feeling they awoke with would be evidence enough to look in a different direction.

But no, the next celebration is already being planned for with deep hopes that this will be the one. That hope will follow you to the grave, unless you discover that superficial has all the firepower of an empty fireworks container.

Your depth cannot be held by a container but it contains the energy to light up your life for a lifetime. Your depth isn’t out there in the exploding sky. That’s a sparkly toy that will be useless after you play with it once. But we seem hellbent on buying the new and improved version in order to get a bigger blast.

What we are really looking for when we chase after the showy explosions is an implosion. Implosion is the discovery of depth. Rather than chase the comet across creation, find the core of your combustion that allows you to be comfortable with who you are wherever you are.

Depth can’t be bought but the good news is you already own it. You just have to dig past the empty fireworks containers to find it.

Declare your independence from superficiality and you’ll find what you’ve been looking for – a much deeper you.

All the best,

John

VIRTUAL MASSAGE

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July 2, 2012

Options

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:42 am

C185888 s Call me late to the party, but it recently occurred to me that we spend most of our lives focused on problems and precious little time dedicated to solutions.

Listen to anyone, including yourself, talk about problems. After a time, you can recite the problem and all its facets from memory because you’ve heard it so many times.

Then notice how much time you’ve given to solutions – precious little.

I think there is a good reason for this imbalance being a fact of life – lack of flexibility.

We only see one solution and that solution is usually deemed too big a mountain to climb or simply out of our reach.

What is the cure for inflexibility? Options.

Before we can select a solution to work towards, we have to explore options.

The first step in exploring options is to stop reciting the problem.

Watch anyone practicing a piece of music on the piano. They may play it for 20 seconds and make a mistake. They go back to the beginning and start over and make the same mistake 20 seconds in. They go back to the beginning again and repeat this ritual countless times.

What would happen if they backed up only a few seconds and picked up their playing from there? They know the beginning of the piece by heart, so going back over what they know doesn’t bring them any closer to a solution. You know your problem intimately. It’s time to get to the hand holding stage with a solution. That takes options.

Develop the practice of asking, “What are my options?”

That question, alone, will pull you out of the tailspin of describing your problem yet again. “What are my options?” gets you focused on two things:

1. That options are available.

2. That options lead to a solution.

Without options, we are left with only our problem.

Are you looking for the next person to tell your problem to or are you looking for a solution? One strategy leads you to a familiar place – Nowhere; the other opens the door to “Somewhere.”

Arriving at a solution becomes much easier when we explore our options.

All the best,

John