My step father, rest in peace, would say that, Americans were the most contentious people on the earth. I rarely agreed with him but am beginning to see more of his point of view.

Have you watched any of the “discussions” on health care at the town hall meetings? Yes, there are people there with legitimate and differing points of view, but you would never know we were a “civil” society by the actions we see.

Before this turns political, let’s admit that shills for all sides of the debate are in and outside the room with the sole purpose of disruption. They’re interested in heat rather than light.

Once you identify and isolate the ringers, only genuine people are left – people who are easily led, not by their intellect, but by their emotions.

Thank God, I was introduced to something called “Bad Hypnosis” by the late Dr. Dave Dobson. He knew how easily we as humans are manipulated to another’s point of view when they pushed the proper emotional buttons.

He asked us to close our eyes and led us through an exercise. The purpose of the exercise was to have the part of us that knows we’re being surreptitiously manipulated (by the way, we all have this part of us) to alert us that we’re being exposed to “Bad Hypnosis.”

It is one of the best experiences you can own. It calms you down when you’re getting caught up in another’s one-way agenda. It allows you to recalibrate to a neutral spot, where you can recognize a wolf in sheep’s clothing so much easier.

Jerry Spence, the famed cowboy attorney calls this part of us our “Bullshit Detector.”

The name is irrelevant; the fact that we own this sensing device is the message here.

So here’s a little exercise you can practice in seconds that will attune you to “Bad Hypnosis” and calibrate you to a spot where you can make an informed choice.

Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, close your eyes and ask yourself “Where does this sensing device live in my body?” Just pay attention to any signal you get from your body. You may feel warmness or coolness, a tingling, pulsation, or something else in a certain part of your body. It may not be overt, but it will be an unmistakable sensation that’s associated with your question.

Catalog that signal. It’s your own personal BS detector. You may have to practice this exercise a few times before you begin to trust that there’s a part of you that knows “what’s what.”

Begin to notice this signal when it just shows up on its own. You, more often than not, are being alerted to pay attention to the fact that you are being led down a trail that leads to someone else’s destination – not yours.

Activate your detector today and start to see through others’ plans to lead you astray.

All the best,

John

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Here’s something to wonder about:

Is it age or pure hubris that has us deem our own mistakes not as egregious as the same exact mistakes made by others?

If you do get an answer, wonder if it applies to you.

All the best,

John

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The Grasshopper reminded us years ago that we are all mentally ill by someone else’s standards.

What idiosyncratic behavior do we own, that when viewed from another angle, doesn’t look nuts?

The real difficulty we run into is not taking another’s vantage point to evaluate such behavior.

We justify what we do as perfectly normal without ever taking the advantage of an opposing perspective.

“What does it look like standing in their shoes?” is a question we rarely ask as we continue along our righteous path.

Chances are if you’ve denied or justified something long enough, it’s a pretty sure bet that’s what others identify as your “wacky” behavior.

Because you got used to a certain behavior may make it acceptable to you, but it doesn’t play well in the theater of other peoples’ minds.

What to do? Nothing, if you think this doesn’t apply to you.

Hint: This applies to everyone.

We become blind to our own bizarre behavior that’s in plain view for others to witness.

If you do begin to recognize that your behavior is getting in your way, you are no longer crazy because a crazy person wouldn’t take the time to select another angle of view.

The best way to end sleepwalking is to wake up. Most people need an alarm to end this trancelike behavior. It needn’t come to that. Just entertain for a moment what it’s like to be another and view yourself from that perspective.

My sense is you’ll discover your sanity by recognizing we are all mentally ill by someone else’s standards. Then, and only then, will you address your wacky ways.

Since I used to be in radio, let me leave you with the lyrics of a song written and performed by Joe South:

WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind
If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

Well, your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of common says you’re gonna reap just what you sow

So unless you’ve lived a life of total perfection
Mm-mm, you’d better be careful of every stone that you should throw

Yet we spend the day throwin’ stones at one another
’cause I don’t think or wear my hair same way you do
Well, I may be common people but I’m your brother
And when you strike out and try to hurt me it’s a ‘hurtin you,

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

There are people on reservations and out in the ghettos
And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I

If I only had the wings of little angels don’tcha you know I’d fly
To the top of the mountain and then I’d cry?

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Better walk a mile in my shoes

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Oh, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes,

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

All the best,

John

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In the past, I was never a big fan of surprise parties. They were deemed out of my control. “OMG,” he yelped, “not that.”

In addition, I didn’t like someone else being in charge of the people I spent my birthday with – another cry for control.

Then it dawned on me a couple of weeks ago, when I sent my friend, Jerry Stocking a birthday email, that every day, birthday or not, is a surprise.

Every day is an adventure into the land of the unknown – a virtual surprise party.

We state that we fear the unknown, yet we have so much experience with it every day.

The biggest waste of energy for me was attempting to control the unknown. I had a daily plan to capture it in a box and bend it to my whims. The only person who got bent was me.

It didn’t come as an “Ah-Ha” moment but snuck up on me over time, that I have control over nothing or no one.

You would think that discovery was scary. It wasn’t. It was freeing and worth celebrating.

It’s what’s out of your view (Reality) that has the most control over you.

For example, every quarterback in football has a blind side when they pivot to pass the ball. If they pivot to the right to throw, they can’t see who may be charging at them from the left. Most rookie quarterbacks are worried about being hit from their blind side when attempting to throw the ball. This keeps their full attention away from passing, causing them to throw incomplete passes and interceptions.

A veteran quarterback learns to trust his linemen to protect his blind side so he can focus his full attention on throwing complete passes and touchdowns.

If you keep looking for or worrying about a blind side hit every day, you’re not going to function even close to your capacity.

There are surprises every day – ones that can knock you over or lift you up. If you’re running continually scared, you need to find something to put your trust in, and here’s what I’m suggesting – your response.

When life says, “Surprise” there is not a pat answer that works. It’s at this point that you have to trust your response.

A response always comes from a deeper place than a reaction and oftentimes presents more options.

A reaction gets you to re-act the same scene over and over again – one of you frozen by fear.

Trusting that there is a part of you that knows how to respond will laser your focus on the moment you’re in, causing your completion percentage to go up.

Every day is a surprise party. Make sure the first gift you open is marked “Response.”

All the best,

John

P.S. Who wants to be the next person to:

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I just got the title for my new self help book that I’ll never write. It’s called SHRINK AND GROW RICH.

No, it’s not about weight loss, nor is it about becoming a wallflower.

It’s about reducing the clutter in our mind, so that the productive, profitable ideas can poke through.

Did you ever notice how many thoughts fight for real estate in your mind. It’s a crowded landscape that could use major pruning.

Like all daunting tasks, it’s always a question of where to begin.

And like all journeys, the answer is to begin where you are. Just notice that your head is crammed to the gills. Noticing is the first step away from being a participant in a process that isn’t working.

We keep our thoughts in place by engaging them in conversation, oftentimes with heated debate. That always results in more time spent on something that will never blossom.

Arguing with yourself is dumber than cheating at solitaire. There is no real win.

The bear fruit strategy is to welcome all thoughts without prejudice. Offer no resistance to these loud intruders. Let them have their say and watch how quickly they go away.

It takes some practice because we have been conditioned to fight with our “negative” thoughts. If you set a place for them at the table, and offer no resistance, they will pass through faster than an afternoon thunderstorm in Florida.

The process for making thoughts go away is by inviting them to stay. It only seems like backwards logic until you apply it.

If you need a reminder as to why it pays to be hospitable to these thoughts, remember the mantra – SHRINK AND GROW RICH.

All the best,

John

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Are you opened or closed? I guess for most of us, it really depends on what’s being considered.

In the past, my personal conditioning had me automatically close to just about anything that didn’t match up with what I already knew. That was a limitation to learning something new.

I now say “Yes” to a lot more things that I said “No” to in the past. I guess you could say that I’ve opened.

Having experienced both opened and closed, I can tell you that open works much better. Open creates more possibilities; closed continually shuts the door.

I recently thought of a story from my teenage years where my father was attempting to teach me the value of opened vs. closed.

My dad and my uncle bought a Tastee Freeze franchise as an investment in the 60s. All of us who were old enough worked at the store from April through October. I vividly remember one dreary Sunday night in mid October. It was just me and my father working on this cold and rainy night before Columbus Day. Our advertised closing time was 11 p,m. It was about 10 p.m. and we hadn’t had a customer for over an hour, and the prospect of anyone coming out for ice cream was slim and his second cousin, slimmer.

I said to my father, “Why don’t we close up and go home? Looks like nobody is coming out in this weather for ice cream.” He said, “What about the guy who may come out to bring ice cream home for his children. Where will he go the next time he wants ice cream late at night and remembers that we were weren’t open like we said we would be?” I silently grumbled because I knew we were staying ’til 11.

Not but 10 minutes later, a guy drove up with a car full of kids and got them all ice cream. I’m sure the kids didn’t care that it was wet, cold and rainy. They were getting ice cream.

The moral of the story is you get more when you stay open.

How does one become more open? Begin to notice your automatic reactions – the ones you always have. Once observed, you may want to question whether they’re working for you or not. That’s the beginning to the opening process – the process that leads to more open doors.

Are you opened or closed? It’s really not a condition, but rather a choice – one you get to make every day. I hope you make a yummy choice.

All the best,

John

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Back in my broadcasting days, I had occasion to meet many of the great performers of the time because I had access to a back stage pass. Many people never get the opportunity to interact with these folks, up close and personal. They only get to glimpse their gifts from afar. I gained admission with a coveted, special pass.

Here’s the good news. We all have admission to the backstage part of us bearing gifts, we just rarely use it.

One way to gain admission is through the “Power of Admission.”

We have built up an immunity to admitting things. We just can’t seem to own the idea of owning up. This is a game we play with ourselves and others that keeps the huge, imposing bouncer at the back stage door, barring our admittance to greater gifts.

The magic pass that gets you in is “Admission.”

The reasons people give for not making a clean breast of things is that it makes them feel wrong. No one likes the feeling of being wrong. We substitute another feeling to take its place – Guilt. Many would rather feel the shame of guilt rather than the pain of wrong, so they never admit anything.

Trouble is both guilt and wrong keep you from gaining admission backstage, keeping you separated from your gifts.

Here is a formula that works. Begin to admit things without adding “right” or “wrong” to your admission.

Start with yourself. It’s true that people even have a hard time admitting things to themselves, but it’s the best, low risk place to begin this practice.

Admit what you did in factual terms. Leave the judgement and recrimination out of it. An effective admission needs to have the word “I” up front. I did (fill in the blank).

Life, like real courtrooms, doesn’t contain many spontaneous admissions, no matter how many of them you see in TV courtroom dramas. We are hesitant to admit anything we’ve done because of the fear of banishment. What we fear is what we already have in place – banishment from our back stage place of love and acceptance.

When you admit without adding right or wrong it does two immediate things:

1. Eases your guilt.
2. Gets you through the back stage door.

Once you practice with yourself, you can branch out with minor admissions to others until you can work your way up to the full blown freedom of major admissions. The trick to opening the door is to leave right and wrong behind, on the floor.

Right and wrong prevent you from admitting. Once you remove them from the requirements and just admit the facts, you have tapped into the new found freedom that goes along with “The Power of Admission.”

This doesn’t mean that you can’t ever admit that you were way off base with your actions. It just means that it’s highly unlikely you’ll take the first step towards admission if right and wrong remain in place.

Start the process of admitting today and you’ll begin to feel the special perks of having a back stage pass.

All the best,

John

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The Grasshopper came up with a new term – Moo – Do. (Moo minus Do) If you think the results are anything like cow shit, you’re not far off.

Moo – Do is the voodoo logic we use when we equate thought and talk with movement.

Keeping with the theme, thinking and doing are as separate as milking and mooing.

It’s udderly ridiculous to think if we think and talk about something long enough, it will happen. That practice has the effect of addressing a 4-H meeting claiming that brown cows give chocolate milk. In today’s vernacular they would say, “When it’s only in your head, you get no cred.”

Here’s something to put in our cud to chew: The more we talk, the less we do.

How often do we believe that because we thought about something, we did something? “Oh, I thought about that all weekend.” So what?

What physical steps did you take?

In school, our thinking is given venerated status and is continually measured by classroom tests. In life, the results of our actions are the only measurements we are graded on.

In most cases, thoughts precede action, that is, unless they get caught in traffic. Perhaps a large Guernsey is blocking the roadway. It would be quite cow-ardly to not make any effort to move her and get on our way. We’d rather talk to ourselves and have our say. And if you rent the mindset of piss and moan, you’ll “buy the farm” before you own.

Moo without Do is stagnation. When we add them together, it’s cause for celebration.

I hope this inspires you to get your cow in gear. (Sorry, there were no donkeys here).

All the best,

John

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Negativity is simply this – Hanging on to a negative thought. That thought is reflected in your body as an uneasy feeling that your mind describes as an emotion.

The answer to this dilemma is not thinking positively. That just sets up a push-pull argument that goes back and forth inside our mind.

The solution is to notice you are having the negative thought and to feel the associated sensation in your body. When you give full attention to the sensation that goes along with the thought, you begin a process of transformation that has the feeling ease, and the thought subside.

I could write about this all day long, but the proof is in the doing.

The next time you notice negativity within you, give your full attention to the feeling that goes along with the thought. That doesn’t mean to discuss it; it means to feel it in your body. You are acknowledging the reality of the feeling and not pretending that it isn’t there by thinking positively. The result is more peaceful feelings with much better thoughts.

“Think Positive” is an incomplete piece of advice. There is no strategy offered to genuinely get you there other than the willpower of thinking, which has a miserable rate of failure.

On the surface, “Feel Negative To Be Positive” doesn’t sound like a workable strategy until you put it to the test.

Take the personal exam right now. Fully explore the sensations associated with a negative thought and witness your weekend brighten.

All the best,

John

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This is the story of “The Butterfly & The Hermit.”

• The Butterfly goes everywhere except one place. The Hermit goes to one place, but is everywhere.
• The Butterfly’s attention is captured by things that dazzle. The Hermit is always at the center of attention.
• The Butterfly evolved to its position. The Hermit never changes.

It’s as though they are as different as night and light, one on the move, the other out of sight.

Can these two ever find common ground or will they remain as separated as “Lost” & “Found”?

The story’s ending depends on you. Can you find a way to unite these two?

If the Butterfly finds the Hermit’s hut, it can drink nectar it’s never tasted – one that leaves it satiated.

Now its flights will be ones of its picking, rather than filled with wounds that need licking.

You see, The Butterfly & The Hermit are the same – one part preferring solace, the other part fame.

Once you see these two as one, you discover all the secrets under the sun.

When you marry these parts of you, you fly into the air and out of the stew.

The story of “The Butterfly & The Hermit” is really the story of you. It takes a wonderful turn of events when you allow your spirit to imbue.

All the best,

John

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