Whether they’re apron strings, puppet strings or financial strings, they all perform the same function. They keep you tethered to the patterns you learned along the way. One of those patterns is fighting.

Begin to notice how you prop yourself up to be knocked down every time you decide to fight.

Fighting with someone or something (an ideology) has the accent on opposition. They’re wrong and you’re right is the mindset that begins the fight.

What if they are neither wrong nor right?

What if they just are the way they are? What if it is just the way it is?

Fighting with people to get them to change is like fighting with darkness. It’s there whether we want it to be there or not, and no amount of fight returns the light.

The mistake we make is thinking the light returned because darkness gave up because we put up such a great fight. As silly as that sounds, that’s how we justify our pattern to continue fighting.

We do most of our fighting with ourselves, inside our head. We have a ring set up in our mind and decide to go 12 rounds every day. We never notice that we never win. The statistics indicate that it’s in our best interest to retire.

Begin to notice your penchant to fight. Notice the signals that lead you to lace up the gloves. Notice the bait that causes you to swing and miss every time.

Just noticing your pugilistic pattern begins to take the fight out of you and drops you at the doorstep of surrender.

What we’re really fighting with is reality. It has an unbeatable left hook. We can never win.

What we can do is surrender to reality. Refuse to fight with it anymore. As long as we’re locked into the David and Goliath myth, we will continue our Don Quixote quest to tilt at windmills. It’s great theatre but it has no basis in reality.

Surrender presents options. Options you would never see while focused on the fight. Surrendering to what is, opens the door to what isn’t.

“How goes the battle?” is a telling question. It shows us the universal mindset that keeps us prepared to fight.

Just pretend for a moment that you are not fighting with anyone or anything. How wonderful does that feel? That’s the feeling of surrender. You are not giving up anything; you’re giving in to peace.

Out of the peacefulness of surrender come the hidden options that you’ll never find on the battlefield.

Surrender is the way to take the fight out of right and keep you peaceful for the time you have left.

“Pick your battles” is a helpful place to start. Find something small that you’ve been fighting with forever and surrender. Once you find the peace associated with surrender, you’ll want more. This discovery will lead you to eventually surrender to all your battles and find the peace and options you deserve.

I hear they’re having a sale on white flags.

 

All the best,

John