The Best Defense Is No Defense At All - Grasshopper
It may not work in football, but it is one of life's essential inclusion strategies.
How often do we defend ourselves when there is really nothing worth our energy and peace of mind to defend? If we investigate our defenses, we most often fight for our concept of self rather than the principle we claim to be defending.
This concept of self constantly needs to be reassured that it is important, and what better way to prove its worthiness than to be on the side of the angels about something.
The concept of self is concerned with one thing - being right. The cause it espouses is just a platform to reinforce its rightness.
Does this suggest that you cannot defend anything that's noble? NO! It's a wake-up call to recognize where our defense comes from.
If our defensive position is coming from our concept of self, we will engage in a war with no end in sight. There will be no consideration for the position or welfare of others. The mission of the concept of self is to win no matter how much destruction lies in its wake.
If our defense comes from that authentic place we all have access to, it's not a defense at all but rather an inclusive proposition to benefit all concerned.
When we get married to an ideology, we become the most defensive and the least inclusive. A couple of stories illustrate the point . . .
Here's a recent headline from the Daily Mail:
"The 27-year-old daughter of radical Islamic cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed has admitted to pole dancing in London bars in defiance of her family's strict Muslim beliefs."
The interesting thing to me is the father's response. He said,
"She was brought up properly in the Muslim faith but she is free to make her own choices in life. But I am still shocked. If she has done these things she will be judged on Judgment Day. But God will forgive her anything except becoming a non-Muslim."
The other story comes from when I was doing a radio talk show. A Jewish woman wrote to the editor of the newspaper and said that if her daughter ever married a non-Jew, she would "sit Shiva" for her. The translation was she would treat her daughter as though she was dead. I invited her on my show and asked her, "If your daughter was convicted of a heinous, unprovoked murder would you visit her in prison?" She said that she would, but that she would never agree to see her again if she married a non-Jew. She said she would be dead to her if she did that.
When the concept of self and an ideology get married, the gift of logic and the miracle of inclusion become hidden behind the defense shield of being right.
You can't have dinner with "Right." "Right" is a lonely existence.
You can't have a family reunion with principles, just a perpetual cabinet meeting in your mind where everyone agrees that you are right. Quoting The Grasshopper:
"Some people would rather be right than happy. And preferring to be right, they are left out."
Defending your concept of self is a one-way ticket to a life of isolation no matter how principled you are.
All the best,
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