Do You Have A Secret? - Grasshopper

There’s an old expression which states: If you share a secret with someone, it’s no longer a secret.

That simply means  the information is no longer hidden by you.

Many of us have private agendas that we share with no one. It’s our secret . . . or so we think. 

But here’s what we don’t realize . . . we advertise that we have a secret, to anyone willing to pay attention, by the subconscious signals we generate.

For example, I just watched a streaming series called YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS. In there, a female police detective, investigating a murder, says to her fellow investigator, “I don’t like him for this, but I like him for something.” She doesn’t know what that something is, but she senses there is something.

She was getting a vibe, a gut reaction, a “Spidey” sense that something was going on that the suspect was keeping secret.

We all send out that signal when we have a secret. Some people on the receiving end don’t exactly know the content of our private thought, but they suspect something.

Reminds me of a story . . . I remember noticing something about a co-worker some 30 years ago. We worked together for several years. He was a clean shaven fellow who was really good at his job. But after a long holiday weekend, I noticed he was growing a beard . . . something totally out of character for him.

As it continued to grow, I sensed something was up with him. I casually mentioned it to our boss, but he dismissed my notion, and said that everything was fine with this man. A week later he showed up clean shaven and turned in his resignation and took a job with our competitor.

Was I psychic? No, I just had a clue there was a hidden agenda.

So what’s the message here? It’s not, not to have a secret, but, rather, to realize you’re advertising that something’s going on with you. And if someone asks if there’s anything wrong, you can respond with something like, “I’m working through some personal stuff that I’d like to keep private.” Or, if it’s someone you trust, you can let them in on your secret.

Keeping a secret isn’t free. It’s expensive.

Not in dollars, but in energy–emotional energy spent guarding, managing, deflecting.

Sometimes the smartest thing you can do with a secret is to share it wisely–so you can stop funding a war inside yourself.

All the best,