Soft Landings - Grasshopper

I’ve been having a phrase roll around in my head the past few days. The words are, “soft landing.” I’ll attempt to flesh out a meaning of my musing in this mini podcast.

Constantly looking out for others doesn’t allow much time for looking out for yourself. Your needs get put on the back burner by you, or you completely ignore them. And you subconsciously put out the message that you have no needs, so no one makes an effort to fulfill them.

That’s quite challenging especially when you do need something. You’ve conditioned yourself not to ask, and you know from experience that people are not mind readers, so they’re not going to intuit that you need someone to provide you with a pillow.

There is only one useful answer to this dilemma: Ask for help.

I find that it’s harder for men than women to ask. Men are conditioned to be self-reliant and when they’re not, they dig the hole they’re in deeper by refusing to ask for assistance. 

The life lesson that’s hidden to most of these giving men and women is this: You get most of what you want in life from other people. And if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Start having softer landings by learning to make requests of others. Start small and work your way up. You don’t have to ask for the moon and stars. It could be as simple as asking them to get you something from the garage, bedroom, or refrigerator. Get in the habit of making requests. It’s a guaranteed way to put your needs up for notice and it lets people know that you’re not an island with one inhabitant.

Everyone needs a shoulder to sob on once in a while, even big boys who were conditioned not to cry.

So, here’s my request: Start asking for things from others, so when you get scared or need help, you’ll have more options than to hide under the covers.

All the best,
John