React To A Reaction - Grasshopper

For the most part we’re on automatic pilot when we react. Along comes a stimulus that we’ve been conditioned to, and then we have the same reaction we’ve had countless times before. It happens so quickly that we don’t have time to get a wedge between stimulus and reaction.

So does that mean we’re slaves to our reactions? The answer to that question is “no,” especially when we learn how to “React to a Reaction.”

Most of our judgements are conditioned reactions. And years ago I got this sage piece of advice: Judge quickly!

We all judge. It’s part of the human software package. Your conditioned judgments will just pop into your mind without any pre-thought or your permission. Rather than let them linger, just notice that you’re having a judgement, acknowledge it, and then move off it.

Here’s one of my judgements. I’ll see a person in a supermarket parking lot not return their shopping cart to the assigned collection area. In the past, I would immediately go into judgement mode inside my head. “Look at that lazy S.O.B. How hard is it to return that cart to its proper place? You’d be the first person to scream bloody murder if one of those abandoned carts hit your car. Were you brought up by wolves? How thoughtless of others you are.” And that internal conversation would go on and on until it naturally petered out.

Then I learned to judge quickly. That means I would notice that I was having an instant reaction and then immediately acknowledge I was having one. “Oh, I’m about to go into my shopping cart soliloquy.” Just by noticing and acknowledging my reaction, I would short circuit the internal diatribe that I routinely had in the past. I was reacting to my reaction to my benefit.

Seriously, what good was it doing me to go on and on about a stranger’s behavior? My long-winded, emotional judgement wasn’t’ going to fix or change the situation. The only thing it was doing was keeping me upset.

When you have a reaction that usually causes you internal turmoil, immediately notice that you’re having it, and decide that it’s not going to have its way with you. It’s the noticing of the reaction that keeps it from gaining momentum. Acknowledging it and deciding to move on is you reacting to your reaction.

Teach yourself to do it. It’ll save the day and save you from tons of dismay.

All the best,