Are You Getting Through? - Grasshopper

What’s the difference in feel when two words mean the same thing but come across differently?

For example, if someone writes they “beeped” the horn vs. “tooted” the horn, there’s a different feel communicated.

That’s why written communication is often misconstrued. Emails, texts, letters, blogposts, memos, etc. are open to multiple interpretations, depending on the meaning the reader has attached to certain words.

Of course, when we speak the words, a lot of the misinterpretation is removed due to our vocal emphasis or lilting of certain syllables or words. And when we add video or film to the spoken words, we get a more complete feel for the message.

What we’re doing in the last example is incorporating the three major communication systems we own: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. The see, hear, and feel of it so to speak.

Think of your favorite teacher. Chances are their teaching style favored your preference for learning. Their communication style was either mostly auditory, or mostly visual, or mostly kinesthetic. They displayed the learning style you preferred most.

The really great teachers incorporate all three and reach more people. They have something for everybody.

Chances are when you’re not reaching someone with your message, you’re not presenting it in the style they prefer. If you start to notice that you’re not getting through, instead of saying the same thing over again, only louder, consider that you’re leaning on your preferred style of communicating vs. theirs and switch systems.

There are countless people out there that can teach this method much better than me. My message here is simply this: Pay attention to the people you’re addressing, instead of getting lost in your delivery, and notice if your message is landing. If not, go in a different direction. Come at it from a different angle.

The best example of your style not working is the story of the “ugly American” traveling in a foreign country expecting them to know what he’s saying in English. He approaches a street vendor who has a food booth and says, “I’ll have a hot dog.” The vendor looks at him quizzically and the mans says the same thing louder: “I’LL HAVE A HOT DOG.” The vendor responds with a palms up gesture, a lift of his shoulders and tilt of his head, and facial contortions that communicate, “I don’t understand.” And this guys says, “What are you, stupid, I just wanted a hot dog.” And walks off in a huff.

Get in the habit of noticing when you’re going into your talking trance, meaning you’re only giving attention to what you’re saying and not to the person you’re addressing. When you catch yourself doing this, and switch gears, your message will reach more eyes and ears. Ya feel me?

All the best,