What Triggers You? - Grasshopper

“The term ‘trigger’ has gotten a bad reputation recently and I’d like to speak on its behalf, your honor.”

That’s what I would say if I were testifying for the defense in the trial of Trigger.

Reminds me of a story . . . about 35 years ago I heard Dr. Dave Dobson tell a story of speaking before a group of people and using the word “gumdrop” in his speech. He noticed one woman break into a smile and he stopped his lecture to inquire about her sudden mirth.

She said that when she was a little girl gumdrops were a treat she would get at the candy store and it brought back great memories. The lecture, mind you, had nothing to do with nostalgia or candy stores, but the word triggered a wonderful memory for her.

“I was triggered” is a new phrase that’s crept into our vocabulary. It’s used to indicate a negative experience in you that was caused by someone else’s words or deeds.

That reminds me of another story . . . Richard Bandler, co-founder of the people helping skill known as NLP, was assisting a client who said someone was “pushing their buttons.” He interrupted the person and asked if the buttons were on the inside or the outside. And before they could answer, he added that if they were on the outside, he’s have to call men in white coats to come take them away. Then he asked, “If they’re on the inside, who’s really pushing them?”

This new use of trigger is an attempt to make someone else responsible for our reactions. It’s the new form of “you made me do that.” It’s used as a justification for us to behave in a certain way that we claim we have no responsibility for.

This is in no way an attempt to claim that triggers don’t exist. They do. There are certain things that will trigger reactions within us – good, bad, or indifferent.

The trick is to notice that we’re having a reaction to them and taking the time to throw in the clutch and choose a response instead. This is truly taking responsibility for our reactions and not letting a trigger get our trousers in a twist.

If it’s always someone else’s fault, you’ll have a hard time avoiding getting shot.

When we recognize our buttons are on the inside, we have a better chance of changing slop into a gumdrop.

All the best,