How To Get Attention - Grasshopper

I'm sure there are countless ways to attract attention, most of which consist of you doing some overt action to get someone to put their eyes and ears on you. But there is a more useful method that has longer lasting results.

The Grasshopper succinctly gave us the way many years ago: “To get attention, give attention.”

Attention is the most sought after commodity in the world, but many of us are hoarders when it comes to giving it out. We keep our attention on ourselves and fail to make a bonding connection with others.

Here’s a common example. You’re having a conversation with someone and when they’re speaking, you’re in your head formulating what you’re going to say when they take a breath, or when they’ve completed their thought. Your attention is on you, not them.

What’s not widely known is that attention or lack of it can be felt by another. When your attention is on you, they disappear, not from your sight, but from your silent connection apparatus. They, at an unconscious level, feel stranded.

The person doesn’t have to be in your presence or sight line to feel your attention or lack thereof. It can also be sensed in a phone conversation or even on a voice mail.

When I coached radio broadcasters, one of the things that I often noticed was the DJ listening to his or her own voice rather than having their focus be on what they were communicating, and to whom. They were listening to how they sounded and that led to a lack of connection to the listener. The listener could feel that abandonment.

The example I gave them to emulate was a person who mastered communicating. She was TV host Barbara Walters. Barbara, by many accounts, had an “affected” voice, to the point that she often was parodied on the late night entertainment shows. Her lack of vocal pleasantness didn’t keep her from being wildly successful. Barbara’s attention was on the person she was communicating with and they and you, the viewer, could feel that connection.

Here’s my suggestion: Start to notice where your attention is when interacting with another. If you find that it’s on you most of the time, take the time to put it on others. You’ll notice two things:

1. You’ll make more connections when you’re giving attention.
2. You’ll receive more attention in return.

So, if it’s attention you seek, remember this: “To get attention, give attention.”

All the best,