The Myth Of Acceptance - Grasshopper

If the word “acceptance” is synonymous with two other “A” words, “acknowledgement” and “agreement,” then it comes closer to a real concept for me. Acceptance, the way it’s used in many self-help circles, misses the mark of being a real thing.

If you ever say, “I just can’t accept that” when presented with a reality of life, you’re saying that which has happened really didn’t happen. There is no amount of “non-acceptance” that will make that reality disappear.

 

If someone hands you a gift and you say, “I can’t accept it” and hand it back, you are now using the word with an action attached, not mental resistance to a hard reality.

 

Suppose someone has a challenging situation enter their life and says, “I can’t accept this” or “I’m having trouble accepting this.” The word “acceptance” in this case is an illusion. What happened to you has happened. Accepting it or not accepting it has no power to change the circumstances. You can acknowledge what happened, you can agree that it happened, but acceptance has no action attached. It just keeps you in your head resisting reality.

 

Now, if you tell someone their proposal is unacceptable to you, what you’re really saying is, “I can’t agree to that.” When you agree or acknowledge a reality has happened, then you can say, “I accept it” and it makes perfect sense.

 

Not accepting a reality is just mental gymnastics that has you miss sticking the landing every time.

 

This is more than a lesson in semantics. When you deny reality under the guise of acceptance, there is physical stress in your body that resistance causes. It’s harmful to you. Over time, it’ll take its toll.

 

Certainly, keep the word “acceptance” in your vocabulary, just use it less often, especially in situations where it has no effect ?" other than making you a physical wreck.

 

All the best,