Feeling Bad is Not A Remedy - Grasshopper

The Grasshopper woke me up with these words: “Feeling bad about it tomorrow won’t change what you did yesterday.”

I guess his message is really a primer on guilt. Guilt, plain and simple, is a self-destructive emotion and has little upside.

 

It’s not going to change what you did. And if sitting feeling guilty about it would change things, I’d be your head cheerleader. But it won’t.

 

Feeling bad is not a remedy for past actions. The remedy is always acknowledgement of your wrongdoing, without justification, and issuing an apology, and then walking down the road of atonement. It won’t change what happened, but it will have you accept responsibility and the consequences of your actions.

 

Guilt may spur you on to apply the forementioned remedy, but carrying it around forever does nothing for you or the aggrieved.

 

Self-flagellation is an invitation to stay stuck. You’ll remain mired in self-induced misery without a path forward, with little chance for reclaiming your self-acceptance.

 

Reminds me of a story my friend tells. It’s about his father and grandfather. Apparently, his father as a young man was up burning the midnight oil and worrying about a test he had to take at school in the morning. His father commiserated and said this to him, “Let’s sit up all night and worry together; that’ll fix it.” The son immediately saw the folly in his offer and instantly got his wise father’s message: worry won’t fix it.

 

Guilt won’t fix it, and it won’t fix you either.

 

Reiterating The Grasshopper’s message: “Feeling bad about it tomorrow won’t change what you did yesterday.”

 

All the best,