Going Back To The Land Of “If Only” - Grasshopper
It seems the human condition (thinking) has us review our regrets more often than we realize.
If you pay attention to your thinking, you’ll notice these type thoughts crop up: “If only, I had’ve done that.” “If I could do it over again, I would have handled it differently.” “I should have said this instead.”
We know these musings are folly but that doesn’t keep these thoughts from coming back.
Going back in time is a fantasy of the mind. Look at how many TV and movie plots contain some type of time travel, the purpose of which is to change history. The writers of these stories are just mirroring our thought process. That’s why these themes will continue into perpetuity.
Bottom line: We want to change reality. We can’t. Never could; never will!
These “going back in time” thoughts aren’t going away any time soon, so what to do? Don’t let them become drama.
Drama ensues when we elongate our rails against reality, not to mention that we increase our feelings of guilt.
The key to keep drama from taking over is to notice the ‘If only” thoughts as they pop in and let them have their say. After you listen to them ONCE, send them on their un-merry way.
You don’t have to chase them out the door, just notice them and give them their due. Have a quick cup of tea together and then bid them fond adieu.
If they want to tell their story again, interrupt them and say something like this: “I’ve let you take me back in time, now it’s time for you to “get off the dime,” to borrow an old expression.
When you interrupt these thoughts every time they attempt to overstay their welcome, you’ll spend less time trying to change your past, and the good news is: these feelings of regret will go away fast.
All the best,
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