The Need To Argue - Grasshopper
Did you ever notice that some people like to argue? Not occasionally, but seemingly always?
In the spirit of full disclosure, arguing rattles me. I don’t like seeing it or participating in the practice.
Most of the arguments I’ve witnessed or participated in were delivered in an outside voice and loaded with conjecture and opinion, yet most claimed they were arguing the facts.
Here’s my guess: Somebody made these folks wrong during their formative years. One or some of their early care givers, quite often, wouldn’t let them speak their mind. That pattern built on itself . . . until . . . it burst. Then, out spewed all the pent up wrong, and they’ve been attempting to prove they’re right ever since.
I’m not pooh-pooh-ing an exchange of opinions, but rather suggesting that arguing doesn’t change hearts and minds; it only assaults your ears.
I don’t think I’m going to reach the dyed in the wool arguers here, but perhaps I can touch someone on the fringe before they enter a lifelong binge of “might makes right” and attract anyone looking for a fight.
Just think about the last argument you were involved in. Did anything get settled? My guess is “No.” Yet, once again you went “to and fro” looking for an opportunity to land a verbal blow.
If you’re using arguing as a vehicle to arrive at being right, you’ll stall out way before the finish line and leave nothing less than a trail of tears behind.
It baffles me that people continue doing this and get no benefit on the back end. It seems they think they’re just one argument away from being right, and that will make them finally feel acknowledged. Sorry to disappoint, but that will never happen. It’s like the main character in the book ISHMAEL says: “There is no argument that will end the argument.”
If arguing is a way of life for you and you’re not an attorney, your angst will continue and not disappear. It’ll be a lifelong journey.
Reflect on the idea that arguing as a way of life only leads to strife and decide to retire the practice. Give it a gold watch and send it out to pasture, and you’ll avoid countless, predictable disasters.
All the best,
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