What Do I Want? - Grasshopper
It’s a question we hardly ask ourselves. We just assume that we know. Too often, we don’t know.
If you don’t have something to aim for, there will be a lot of misses. But, even if you do have a specific aim, it may not really be what you’re after. To zero in on the desired target, it’s useful to ask a second question: What will that get me?
Once you answer the question: What do I want? make sure to follow up with “What will that get me?” That second question will give you clues as to what you’re really after.
This process is known as “chunking down.”
The reason you may not be getting what you want may be that you really don’t want it. You just want the feeling that it will bring. Perhaps an example would be helpful.
Let’s pretend that you say you want a new car. Let’s also stipulate that you don’t really need a new car, you just want one. Now it’s time to answer the question: “What will that get me?” This will conjure up a list of answers. Let’s say you answer, “a beautiful set of wheels.” Now ask the question again. “What will that get me?” And you answer, “the admiration of my neighbors.” And ask the “What will that get me” question again and you may respond with “being accepted.”
So, in this case, “being accepted” is what you really wanted. And excuse the pun but you may have used the car as the vehicle to get you there. The car wasn’t necessary because the discovery of what you really wanted was the goal.
If you have a list of unfulfilled wants in your life and they’ve been around for a while, it may be time to ask yourself the set of questions:
1. What do I want?
2. What will that get me?
You may have to ask the second question multiple times to get down to the feeling sensation you’re after. That’s what you really want. Once you make that discovery, it’s helpful to get curious about other ways to get to your goal, rather than being set on one path.
There are a lot of ways to get to heaven without being hell bent on your way being the only way.
You may really want the thing you identified up front, but it pays to check yourself with the question: “What will that get me?” It will help filter out diversions that you don’t need to succeed.
All the best,
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