How To Lose Your Position - Grasshopper
Whatever position you occupy in life, it’s in jeopardy if your only position is opposition.
Opposition is a spice; never the meal. When opposition is your “go to” position, watch the people around you wane, and notice you and your “position” going down the drain.
I find oppositional people hard to be around. They appear uncomfortable to me and that feeling is catchy.
Always being at cross purposes makes a person harder to like, unless you’re like them, always itching for a fight.
Oppositional people are angry people and they think the reason they’re angry is because someone caused them to be. That’s rarely the case. They were angry before they even met that person.
I met a very famous person years ago who was steeped in anger and as oppositional as they come. I recommended that he notice the anger within him without ascribing it to a cause. That means to sit with the angry feelings without using the word “because.”
If you’re perpetually angry, it’s not “because” of something out there; you’re just angry, period.
This man had lots of professional acquaintances, but no close friends as best as I could tell. Opposition was his main position, and sad to say, his unaddressed anger led to more than his dismay. He’s currently locked away.
If you find yourself on the opposite side of the fence more often than not, that’s a clue that you have lots of unaddressed anger. To address it is to notice the feelings in your body that go along with your anger. Sit with those feelings. Notice the sensations and where they show up in your body. Just sitting with those feelings without ascribing a cause lets them morph into something that waters down your feelings and your opposition goes on pause.
Being opposed to something is a natural thing to do, especially if you feel strongly about what you’re opposed to. It’s counterproductive when it’s your mainstay, because you’ll remain angry and continue to drive people away.
All the best,
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