What Do You Want? - Grasshopper

It occurred to me that we all want the same thing: Serenity (Peace of Mind). Notice that what we really want is a feeling that we’ve attached many labels to.

Below is a post I wrote many years ago that explores this notion.

I’m always quite hesitant to ask a “Why” question, but it seems to fit here. Why do we do what we do?

There are so many answers to that question but I would like to focus on one. We are searching for a feeling.

There is a questioning technique that goes something like this:

Q: What do you want?

A: I want to be famous.

Q: What will that get you?

A: Money, cars, jewelry, headlines.

Q: What will they get you?

A: Respect, acknowledgement, satisfaction

Q: What does it feel like to have respect, acknowledgement and satisfaction?

A: It’s hard to describe but it feels good.

We are searching for a “good” feeling in just about all that we do and pursue. 

Whether you are chasing away the blues with Jack Daniels or Ben & Jerry’s, you are searching for a feeling.

If you are attempting to be the best in your field, you are searching for a feeling.

Whether you’re moving toward or away from something, you are searching for a feeling.

It’s helpful to become aware that we’re all searching for a feeling. When we become aware, we can just go for the feeling itself rather than be shackled to the vehicle we use to take us there. It’s one of the reasons we like “method” actors. They go for the feeling of the character and when they have it, just about anything they do or say on screen is infused with that feeling. Contrast that with the performance of the “movie star” who may dazzle us with their looks or moves but leave us devoid of feeling for their character.

A helpful question to ask yourself is: What do I want to feel?

By going right for the feeling, we have an opportunity to avoid the detours.

It may have never occurred to you that you are searching for a feeling. Just being armed with this knowledge helps us avoid many of the pitfalls and side roads we normally use to get there.

The next time you catch yourself about to use a “vehicle,” know that you are searching for a feeling. A quicker way there is to ask yourself, “What do I want to feel?” and then search for that feeling in your body.

When you know what you’re searching for, it’s much easier to feel it.

All the best,

John