I’m Tired Of Trying - Grasshopper
My mother had an expression when a leaf vegetable didn't appear to be fresh. She would say, "That lettuce looks a little tired." That meant to toss it, as in throw it away.
Here's a tired phrase that people aren't tired of using: "That's just the way I am." They believe it's "tried and true" but if you rearrange the letters of tried, you get "tired."
This worn-out phrase is one of the biggest obstacles I notice when people claim that they want to change. It's a defense mechanism to remain just the way they are. And when you hear, "That's just the way I am," you can bet your life savings that the next words out of their mouth will be the justifications to stay that way.
One of the more subtle defenses you may hear is, "Oh, I tried that." One of life's laws is that "try" has built-in failure. "I tried going to the gym but it didn't work." Upon investigation, you may find out what gym operators already know: 75% of the people who join a gym never go back after 30 days. Change will not come from trying.
If you truly want to move in a new direction, you have to retire "That's just the way I am." A more accurate description would be, "That's the way I was conditioned." Conditioning isn't permanent; you can recondition your habits and beliefs.
It begins by stating, "what is" without justification. "I'm 30 pounds overweight." Notice the period at the end of that sentence. It's not "I'm 30 pounds overweight because I don't have the time to exercise." Just unemotionally state the fact.
Next, list your possible solutions: eat less, exercise more, change my dieting practices, or move to a country that has a famine. Then pick one or a combination of them.
You now have a workable strategy. If you follow it, you'll get results. If you don't follow it, you won't.
Notice that your resume isn't filled with things you tried to do. It lists the things you worked for and accomplished. There is a gifted British sales trainer named Phil M. Jones. He closes all his talks with the following phrase. "I wish you all the success in the world that you're prepared to work for."
"That's just the way I am" means you are unwilling and unprepared to succeed. Until you get tired of saying it, you will be hemmed in by the justification of "I tried."
I wonder how soon you'll get tired of trying.
All the best,
John
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