Explaining The Reasons Doesn’t Change The Act - Grasshopper
We are reasoning beings. We come up with reasons for everything. One thing a reason can’t do is change the reality of an act.
We act and then we reason. That’s the way we’re wired. Most people falsely believe the opposite: We reason and then we act. They even point to the faulty logic left for us by Descartes who said, “I think, therefore I am.” If you reflect on that just for a moment, you will prove it to yourself that “I am, therefore I think.”
Putting the philosophy aside, we rationalize to get ourselves or someone else off the hook for our/their actions.
There is no justification, excuse or rationalization that can change history, but that doesn’t keep us from trying.
“The reason I canoodled with the gardener is because you weren’t mowing my lawn enough,” sounds silly but this is the rationale we use all the time.
Here’s my favorite: The person who has sworn off alcohol but goes back to drinking and says, “I slipped.” You unwittingly slip on banana peels; you consciously choose to go back to drinking. The reality is you acted and then you reasoned to be absolved.
An apology with a reason is another form of trying to mitigate the act. It takes the form of “I’m sorry but.”
Straight forward is the way out of reasoning after the fact.
“I canoodled with the gardener.”
“I went back to drinking.”
“I’m sorry for (insert the offense here).”
Please notice there is a period after describing the act. If you say anything after the period, you have fallen prey to the reasoning trap.
We all do it, but we can do it less if we begin to notice our inclination for not wanting to be responsible for our actions.
The bumper sticker is: Stop Making Excuses. The reality is: Reasons won’t change the act.
All the best,
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