Are You OK? - Grasshopper
Intellectual arguments keep you in the same place: Your head.
Facts and figures can be important, but aren’t always useful. If you rely too much on your amount of intellectual information, your emotional IQ will be stifled.
We have become too divorced from our feelings; not the “hot buttoned” conditioned ones, but the deeper sensations that act as a barometer of what’s OK and not OK.
Too often our intellect will defend not OK behavior in others or ourselves while our gut is pulsating with opposition.
Reminds me of a story . . . It’s been said that one of Abraham Lincoln’s advisors during the Civil War recommended declaring war on Canada. The objective was to bring American brothers, North and South, together to fight a common enemy. That would have been pandering to their emotions, rather than having them checking with their OK meter.
How often will we intellectually defend a friend or family member when our gut evidence against them is overwhelming? Just ask any teacher who’s had a parent/teacher conference or two about that frequency. The conditioning to continually defend their loved ones, at any cost, causes them bouts of pain when they’re far away from anyone willing to listen to their refrain.
When you stay in your head and continue on with a stale, surface argument, your body will betray you. It will send you pain that accumulates over time and will show up as some malady.
I’m sure there are elegant examples to the contrary but, to me, people filled with hate don’t seem to live that long. It doesn’t matter how many facts they can line up to justify their hatred. Facts won’t mitigate the not OK feelings that are present.
Watch how the intellectual arguments go away in the following scenario: You become stricken on a city street and the only thing that will save you until the paramedics can get there is mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Are you making an argument against the person about to help you, even though they fall into your most hated category?
I think it’s time to rediscover our OK barometer. It will keep us from taking too many head trips into the land of never ending pain.
All the best,
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