Increase Your Peace Of Mind By Making Your Regrets Reflections - Grasshopper
There is a powerful tool that came out of the world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) called reframing. It's the process of shifting your focus to a more advantageous interpretation.
"I'm tired of all this rain" is one's refrain. "Imagine what it will do to alleviate the predicted drought" is the reframe. It really doesn't change reality - just one's perception of it.
Regrets are perceptions. When you reframe them as reflections, your vantage point and viewing angle change.
Reflecting allows you to go over old territory without all the bumps and bruises of regrets.
Reflecting is a reality-based position. Regrets have you attempt to change reality - which has never worked in the history of human kind.
The only thing that regret and reflect have in common is that they rhyme.
Reframing regrets into reflections is an easy process and it takes practice to become second nature.
Here's one technique: When you catch yourself regretting, fill up a plastic cup with water and set it next to a sink. Then purposely knock the cup over into the sink. Then immediately attempt to get all the water back in the cup before it goes down the drain. If you didn't just laugh at the folly of this exercise, you need to practice this technique until you do.
You'll never get the water back in the cup and you'll never be able to go back and redo whatever you did or didn't do that's causing regret. You can reflect on it though.
Here's a reflection technique: Go back to that time in your mind as an older, wiser you and console and counsel the younger you that just did the thing they regretted. Let them know that there will be consequences to their behavior but that they can begin now to learn that retracing and regretting their steps won't move them forward.
The effect is that the younger you begins to heal sooner from the ineffectiveness of regret and the inclination to reframe regret strengthens as you age to where you are today. By reflecting, you adjust your personal conditioning towards regret.
This is a powerful strategy, but like any powerful strategy it has no power if you don't use it. As the British say, "Give it a go" and notice what you get. Find out for yourself that only a guitar works better by having a fret.
All the best,
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