An Underlying Agenda Keeps You Lying - Grasshopper
When something is different below decks than it is above, we commonly lie. The rub is this: Surface lip service only works for so long before what we’re hiding is exposed.
Allow me, for the hundredth time, to quote fake, TV doctor, Gregory House - “Everybody lies.”
An underlying agenda is a BIG lie - one that we believe we can’t tell the truth about.
We concoct many reasons for keeping underlying agendas secret, but no matter how good the lies, they all eventually lead to the same outcome - being exposed.
Ask any divorce attorney what their client’s first response was when the client’s spouse asked if they were cheating. It was a lie. Follow the story further and you’ll find the denials continued until the hidden agenda had nowhere to hide.
To use a metaphor I learned from Dr. Dave Dobson, “It’s like trying to hold a beach ball under water.”
So how do we recondition something that seems so deeply ingrained? Start telling the truth to ourselves. That means to stop believing our own bullshit.
Once we are square with ourselves, then we have a greater chance to stop lying to others.
It’s a process. Once we realize our agenda will soon have nowhere to hide, we can entertain opening the door to unfiltered communication. I can’t tell you what’s on the other side of the door; it will be different for everyone. I can tell you this: The weight of the world and the harm it has been causing you lifts, allowing you to walk your path more lightly.
This is not an altruistic exercise; you will be doing this for you. It’s in your best psychic interest to unveil your agenda. Everyone owns a BS detector. They already know something is up with you, so coming clean will take the staleness of a lie out of the air and you’ll breathe easier.
My final thought is this: There is no sin in wanting something different for yourself; the harm is caused by keeping it under wraps with a fancy bow of lies.
All the best,
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