The Need To Be Right Keeps Us Disagreeable - Grasshopper
As far as I can tell, being right is the biggest impediment to arriving at agreement.
We all have opinions and the fun thing about them is they don’t have to be backed up by facts. When opinions get in the way is when we claim they are true. That’s when we declare we’re right and agreement gets left out.
I just Googled the number of organized religions in the world; there are over 4000. I’m sure a number of them are worshipping the “one true God.” Religious wars weren’t relegated to the 16th Century; they’re going on all over the world in 2014.
Agreement will remain absent in the world of being right, whether in religion or politics or any other area where we conflate opinion with truth.
I’m not on a pilgrimage for World Peace; I’m just attempting to water down right a bit so it can flow into agreement.
The first step is to separate right from true. True can only be one way. Real truth has no opposite. That’s why it’s so rare. If what you are right about has an opposite, it can’t be true. The next step is to separate right from opinion. The reason we do both of these things is so we can get to agreement.
Our conditioning is this: When we claim to be right, the person with another opinion is wrong. Remember the awful feeling of being made wrong. We do that to another every time we claim to be right. Reminds me of a story . . .
Years ago, my business partner was having a difference of opinion with his boss. We’ve all been there. After exchanging viewpoints, my partner said, “Well, that’s my opinion.” His boss replied in his outside voice, “Your opinion is wrong!”
If you’re having trouble getting to agreement, you’re on the wrong track. We arrive at wrong by being right.
The formula for agreement is subtraction. Start by subtracting the truth and then take away right. Once these roadblocks are removed, “Agreement Avenue” is within sight.
All the best,
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