You’ll Find Most Complaints At The Intersection Of ‘Should’ and ‘Is’ - Grasshopper
We all have complaints and some of them have extraordinary merit, yet most of them are avoidable accidents, if we notice.
Ask any customer service representative to tell you their horror stories of "operator error." What you'll find are complaining customers who thought the product or service should work the way they thought it should vs. the way it actually works.
They will spend hours, if you let them, telling you about what should or shouldn't be happening vs. what the instructions clearly indicate will happen. Reminds me of a story . . .
Years ago, a friend learned the hard way not to mix bleach and ammonia. He was doing some outside cleaning of an above ground pool and mixed the aforementioned chemicals in a metal pail. Not only do they emit toxic fumes when mixed, but will explode in certain circumstances, and the metal bucket will send shrapnel in all directions. The good news for him is that he survived.
I didn't know about that dangerous interaction until that day but I am forearmed today being forewarned by his experience. He didn't call the ammonia company to complain. The instructions clearly stated to avoid the deadly mixture.
But life is more than cleaning the pool or complaining to customer service. It's filled with complaints of what should or shouldn't be happening vs. what is really going on. That combination will cause lots of explosions, unless we notice.
If you take the time to notice, most shoulds or shouldn'ts aren't backed up by evidence. They're the result of conditioning - conditioning that didn't work for the people who passed them along to us either.
I am truly amazed about the stuff I think should or shouldn't be happening vs. what actually is. If I stopped and investigated the interactions, I would notice that my conditioning keeps me repeating the explosions.
Start noticing your shoulds and shouldn'ts. What you will find is that the world is not following the dictates of your rulebook. If you think they "should" and continue to rail against the reality, every day will be like the 4th of July - lots of fireworks.
Complaining about what is is a global pastime. A more useful practice is to be more observant when approaching the dangerous intersection of "should" and "is" and stop arguing for your position that lacks evidence.
If your should or shouldn't is working for you, I think you "should" keep it. If you think it will help others, write a book and see if anyone buys it. But if it quickly finds its way to the bargain bin at the Dollar Store, maybe you "shouldn't" be giving out explosive advice.
Yes, please take some action against what you believe is an injustice, instead of just complaining about what should or shouldn't be happening. Write a letter, send off an email, make a phone call, march in a protest, etc.
Here's the raw reality: Most of our shoulds and shouldn'ts aren't true. They just have a history of not working that we continue to ignore. If you choose to hang on to them in spite of them lacking evidence, make sure your seatbelt is buckled.
All the best,
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