When Conversation Turns Into Competition, You No Longer Have Communication - Grasshopper
Make no mistake; tit for tat is always combat.
To have any chance of turning it back into conversation is to recognize you’re in a war zone and then take a peaceful pause. It’s with that clarity that you can choose to reload or take another road.
If you fail to recognize you’re in combat, you make think you are delivering a playful tap that’s actually perceived as a full frontal assault. It goes nowhere from there except downhill . . . unless you notice you’re in competition.
Have you ever seen a late night TV host compete with their guest? It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved - the host, the guest, the live audience and you the viewer. The best hosts let their guests shine and just lead the interaction. It’s from this approach that the best comes out of the host and the guest, and the conversation flows - to places it would never go if it got dammed up by competition.
The word “synergy” best describes the outcome of communication: “The interaction of two agents producing a combined effect greater than the sum of their individual effects.”
Alternatively, competition produces a lesser effect.
I don’t know who first said “don’t talk politics and religion in mixed company,” but they were a genius. I’m sure I would have enjoyed having a conversation with them.
There’s certainly room for differing views in conversation but the minute it becomes competition, winning becomes the goal, and like any battlefield, it takes its toll.
Want to become a better conversationalist? Don’t compete. And if you do, have the good sense to retreat.
You have a greater chance of going somewhere better together when competition is under the weather.
All the best,
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