Last In Line Won’t Last - Grasshopper

Priorities on the bottom of your list should be called something else, because they're anything but.

My friend, Ned used to have a priorities list that was filled with some things he would never get around to. That's until he noticed the things at the bottom of the list just got transferred over to his new list, but never got acted upon - like learning Spanish. It was never a priority; it was something else.

 

I find that things that are last listed or last thought of could easily be called "Obligations." They would be the "to-dos" that you feel obligated to perform. Obligations seem to naturally sink to the bottom.

 

Just try the two words on for size - Priority and Obligation.

 

If you're like me, obligation has a heavier feel.

 

Now let's put a person on the receiving end of Priority or Obligation. It has the same feel for them. If someone is a priority for you, they can feel it; when they're an obligation, they wind up at the bottom of the list and we all know what it feels like to be at the bottom.

 

If this is starting to make sense to you, you can do what my friend did: Take the things at the bottom off your list. They're just taking up space and causing you angst. Or, in the case of a person you feel obligated to, you can either keep them on the list with both of you feeling bad about it, or you can move them closer to the top and make them a priority.

 

My experience is this: A person at the bottom will, at some point, remove themselves from your list. They'll tire of being an obligation. You may have a long wait for that to happen or you can save both of you time and aggravation by removing them or prioritizing them.

 

You do have a choice. It may not be a painless one, but you do have the ability to make a more workable list.

 

When you successfully reframe people from obligations to priorities, you'll get more done and you'll be more in service of them and feel better. If you can't or don't want to prioritize them or remove them, sadly, the bottom of your list will drag you down.

 

All the best,

John