HOPE: Expanding The Frame Of Possibility - Grasshopper
When you offer someone hope, you are not handing them something tangible; you are expanding the frame through which they view their situation.
I have not been a big fan of hope in the past. The question I would ask “hopers” was: “If you spit in one hand and hope in the other, which hand will fill up first?” I will still ask that question, but only of people who are expecting someone else to do the work that they need to do.
The people who would not benefit from my question are the folks whose limited vision is causing them palpable distress. These are the people who can only see one outcome - usually the worst. They are the people who will benefit most by hope.
Many people who don’t have hope have lost the ability to do arithmetic. If there is a 3 in 10 chance of something happening, they either focus on a different equation - the 7 chances of it not happening, or they equate 3 in 10 with zero.
If you want them to have the solace of hope, you have to focus them on what’s possible.
Your job is not to change the ultimate outcome; that’s above your pay grade. Your job is to get them to see the whole frame rather than the dark corner they are laser focused on. This job entails getting your opinion out of the way as well. Your opinion of the outcome will taint your ability to provide hope. Just deliver the facts and deliver them with love.
Hope is a bridge from a desolate island to a land of possibility. Help someone build that bridge and you have given someone the intangible that can make life more livable.
Don’t ever offer false hope; it serves no one and can be smelled a mile away. But when there is a chance, make every effort to expand possibilities. The trip from hopeless to hopeful is paved with possibilities.
All the best,
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